|The teacher comes into the classroom to find `SHIT` written on the blackboard. The teacher gets very furious on reading it. However, the experience got the better of her and she tries to address the problem in a cool fashion.|
She goes, "We are going to take care of this on the honour system. We are all going to shut our eyes while I count up to hundred, and when we open the eyes, I want that to be erased."
They all close their eyes and she counts. Piter-patter. "One hundred!"
They open their eyes and look. On the floor below the blackboard is a fresh pile of shit, and chalked above it is "The Phantom strikes again!".
|A rather well built woman, Joan, spent almost all of her vacation time sunbathing on the roof of her hotel.|
The first day she sunbathed, she wore a red bathing suit. However on the second day, she felt a little more adventurous. She slipped out of it in order to get an overall tan figuring that no one could see her way up there. She'd hardly began when she heard someone running up the stairs. She was lying on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear.
"Excuse me, miss," said a flustered little (out of breath) assistant manager of the hotel. "The Hilton doesn't mind you sunbathing on the roof, but we would very much appreciate you wearing a bathing suit as you did yesterday!"
"What difference does it make", Joan asked rather calmly. "No one can see me up here on the roof and besides, I'm covered with a towel."
"With all due respect, not exactly ma'am," said the embarrassed little man. "You are lying on the dining room skylight."
|There were three young sisters who fell on hard times. They were hungry and behind on the rent so they decided one of them would have to go out on the streets.|
The eldest said she was too old, the middle one said she was too plain so it came down to the youngest sister. They put her out on the street and instructed her to ask for at least 500 bucks.
It was very late when she got home, "Hurry up," they said, "the food shop closes soon, give me the money."
The sister looked embarrassed and explained she hadn’t got the money.
"What happened” they asked.
"Well you see I got picked up by a man who took me to his room and he had his wicked way."
"Well what did you do with the money?"
"Well you see I liked it so much I paid him to do it again."
|A man, new in town, goes to the best brothel in the city. Choosing the best looking girl in the place, he retires to a large and well-appointed suite, where he has some of the best sex of his life.|
Satiated, the man asks the madam, "How much do I owe you?"
The madam motions for him to put away his money. She then pulls two hundred dollars out of a purse and gives it to him. She fends off all his attempts for an explanation.
Naturally, the man returns the following evening. He gets the same treatment, and is again given two hundred dollars.
The third night he does the same thing, but when he sees the madam she asks him for three hundred dollars.
"Wait a minute," he says. "The first night you gave me two hundred dollars. The second night you gave two hundred dollars. Now you want me to pay you three hundred? Why?"
The madam smiles and says, "Tonight you weren't being filmed."