|On the subject of interns examining overweight women, the symptoms of pregnancy are often masked by obesity.|
In attempting to do a vaginal/cervical exam on a very overweight woman, the intern could not make room to do his work. He finally enlisted the aid of two nurses who wrapped the woman's legs in sheets and pulled them apart. Still not having enough room, the intern pushed a chair between her legs and made his diagnosis:
"You're pregnant," he said. "But how you got that way without two sheets and a chair is beyond me."
The patient replied, "You know, you're not the first short-dicked man to tell me that."
|A salesman drove into a small town where a circus was playing. A sign read: "Don't Miss "The Amazing Italian".|
The salesman bought a ticket and sat down. There, Under The Big Top, in the Centre ring, was a table with three walnuts on it. Standing next to it was an old Italian.
Suddenly, the old man dropped his pants, whipped out his huge male member and smashed all the walnuts with three mighty swings! The crowd erupted in applause and the elderly Italian was carried off on their shoulders.
Fifteen years later the salesman visited the same little town, found the same circus and saw the same faded sign that read, "Don't Miss The Amazing Italian".
He couldn't believe the old guy was still alive much less still doing his act! He bought a ticket. Again, the centre ring was illuminated. This time, however, instead of walnuts, three coconuts were placed on the table.
The same... now very old... Italian man stood before them, then suddenly dropped his pants and smashed the coconuts with three swings of his amazing member. The crowd went wild!
Flabbergasted, the salesman requested a meeting with him after the show.
"You're incredible!" he told the Italian, "But I have to know something. I saw your act 15 years ago and you were using walnuts. Why the switch from walnuts to coconuts?"
"Well," said the old man, "My eyes aren't what they used to be."
|An 12 year old girl realized that she had started to grow hair between her legs. she got worried and asked her mummy about the hair.|
Her mom calmly said, "That part where hair has grown is called a monkey, be proud that your monkey has grown hair."
Next morning at breakfast she told her sister, "My monkey has grown hair."
Her sister smiled and said, "That's nothing, mine is already eating bananas."
|Every day a man would walk up to a woman in her office, stand very close to her, inhale a deep breath of air, and say, "Your hair sure smells nice!"|
After a week of this, she reports him to the Human Resources Department.
"I want to file a sexual harassment suit against him."
The HR supervisor was puzzled. "I don't get it. How is a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice sexual harassment?"
The woman replied, "It's Keith. You know, the midget?"