• Superman and SuperWoman

    Superman, patrolling Metropolis on a particularly boring day, spied Wonder Woman on the beach, sunbathing in the nude!

    Remembering that he was 'faster than a speeding bullet,' he wondered if he could score with Wonder Woman before she knew what hit her.

    He swooped down, finished in an instant, and then flew away wearing a big happy grin.

    Wonder Woman sat up in the san, "What in hell was that?!"

    And the Invisible Man replied, "I don't know, but my butt hurts!"
  • A Real Bad Day

    A lonely young guy driving cross-country picked up a stunning female hitchhiker.

    Out in the middle of the desert, she started coming on to him. When she offered him some oral pleasure, he pulled over to the side of the road.

    But once his pants were around his ankles, she pulled out a gun, bound his wrists to his ankles, robbed him of his wallet and clothes, and drove off in his car.

    After hopping beside the road for miles, a trucker happened along and stopped. "What happened?" asked the trucker and the man explained his plight.

    The trucker got out of his rig, unzipped his pants, and said, "This just ain't your day, is it, boy?!"
  • Pakistan Book Store

    So, I was walking through the mall and I saw there was a "Pakistan Book Store." I was wondering what exactly was in a Pakistani book store so I went in.

    As I was wandering around taking a look, the clerk stopped me and asked if he could help me.

    I imagine I didn't look like his normal clientele, so I asked, "Do you have a copy of Donald Trump's book on the U.S. Immigration Policy regarding Pakistanis?"

    The clerk said, "Fuck off, get out, and stay out."

    I said, "Yes, that's the one. Do you have it in paperback?"
  • Married Couples at The Pearly Gates

    St. Peter asks the Jewish man why he deserves to be in Heaven.

    He replies, "I've been a pious Jew all my life, attended synagogue every Saturday, and I raised a lot of money for Jewish causes."

    "And what is your wife's name?" asks St. Peter.

    "Penny," the man replies.

    "Penny?!" shouts St. Peter. "You Jews are all alike. Money, money, money. You even married a woman whose name has to do with money! Get out of my sight! You are damned to Hell!"

    Then St. Peter asks the Irishman why he deserves to be in Heaven.

    "I've been a devout Catholic all my life, attended church every Sunday, given generously to the church, and always took wafers and wine at communion." "And what's your wife's name?"

    "Brandy."

    "Brandy?!! You Irish are all alike. Drink, drink, drink. You even married a woman whose name is a type of alcohol. Get out of my sight! You are damned to Hell!"

    With that, the Greek man turns to his wife and says, "Come on, Fanny, let's get out of here."