• Secret Agent

    A foreign diplomat was sitting beside a very beautiful blonde who possessed all the social graces.

    During the course of the dinner, he put his hand under the table and started to feel her ankle. She gave him a brilliant smile. Encouraged, he went a little further and reached the calf of her leg with the same results. The lady smiled and he, becoming emboldened with this encouragement, went above the knees.

    Very soon, giving the diplomat a lovely smile she leaned and whispered in his ear, "When you get far enough to discover that I'm a man, don't change the expression on your face-I'm Secret Agent No. 13."
  • The Sex Trap

    "First," said the playboy, "I'm going to buy you a few drinks and get you a bit loose."

    "Oh no you're not," said the girl.

    "Then I'll take you to dinner and ply you with a few more drinks."

    "Oh no you're not."

    "Then I'll take you to my place and keep serving you drinks."

    "Oh no you're not."

    "Then I'm going to make violent, passionate love to you."

    "Oh no you're not."

    "And I'm not going to wear a condom either!" said the guy.

    "Oh yes you are!" said the girl.
  • First Come, First Served

    A waitress walks up to one of her tables in a New York City restaurant and notices that the three Japanese businessmen seated there are furiously masturbating.

    She yells, "What the hell do you guys think you are doing?"

    One of the Japanese men explains, "Can't you see? We are all berry hungry."

    The waitress begs the question, "So, how is whacking-off in the middle of the restaurant going to help that situation?"

    One of the other Japanese men replies, "The menu say FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED!"
  • Conceiving Issues?

    Two women were sitting in the doctor's waiting room comparing notes on their various disorders.

    "I want a baby more than anything in the world," said the first, "but I guess it is impossible."

    "I used to feel just the same way," said the second. "But then everything changed. That's why I'm here. I'm going to have a baby in three months."

    "You must tell me what you did."

    "I went to a faith healer."

    "But I've tried that. My husband and I went to one for nearly a year and it didn't help a bit."

    The other woman smiled and whispered, "Try going alone, next time, dearie."