• Sex and Parking Space

    What sex and parking spaces have in common:

    1. You should never have to wait to find one.

    2. You should be able to slide right into one.

    3. Spaces in the front are always the best.

    4. When no front spaces are available, spaces in the rear will always suffice.

    5. It sucks when someone else is double-parked.

    6. Your space should still be open and waiting when you get back.

    7. A full-size car is good to find.

    8. It's a tragedy when you have a 'full-size' car but there are only 'compact' spaces.

    9. People are willing to wait in line for good spaces.

    10. Spaces with short time limits are annoying and never satisfying.

    11. We're all looking for free space with 'limited' time limit.

    12. A house isn't a home without a parking space.

    13. Some people are uncomfortable with in the rear.

    14. Why is it best-looking cars are always the ones who only like parking in the rear?

    15. The better your parking techniques are the most parking spaces you can get into.
  • Snow in Jamaica

    A woman goes on vacation to Jamaica.

    Upon arriving, she meets a black man, and after a night of passionate love-making she asks him, "What is your name?"

    "I can't tell you," the black man says.

    Every night they meet, and every night she asks him again what his name is, and he always responds the same, he can't tell her.

    On her last night there she asks again, "Can you please tell me your name?"

    "I can't tell you my name because you will laugh at me," says the black man.

    "There is no reason for me to laugh at you," the woman says.

    "Fine, my name is Snow!" the black man replies.

    The woman bursts into laughter. The black man gets mad and says, "I knew you would make fun of it."

    The woman replies, "I'm not making fun of your name. I'm thinking of my husband who won't believe me when I tell him that I had 10 inches of snow every day in Jamaica."
  • Stop Screwing My Wife!

    Two Italian friends are talking to each other one evening.

    Roberto says, "Tell me Geno, in all honesty, what do you think of a woman with a growth of black hair under her nose?"

    Geno replies, "Hell no, I would never be turned on by a woman like that."

    Roberto says, "OK, so tell me, what about a woman with big black hairs growing under her arms?"

    Geno says, "For Pete's sake what are you talking about? I couldn't even have anything to do with a woman like that."

    Roberto says, "OK but let me ask you another question. What about a woman with long black hairs growing on her legs, never shaves her legs?"

    Geno replies, "Come on man give me a break, I would never get into bed with a woman like that."

    Roberto says, "OK so answer me one last question, if all you say is true, why the hell are you screwing my wife?!!!"
  • Naughty Puns

    What is The Perfect Example of Both Good and Bad Luck?
    The Naughty Wind Blows The Girl's Skirt High (Good Luck)
    But at The Same Time Dust Falls into the Boy's Eyes (Bad Luck)

    Height of Disappointment:
    Husband Enter in a Medical Store to Buy Condoms on Weekend and Receives SMS from Wife: Bring Whisper While Coming Home.

    Men are Like Babies. If You Want to Shut Them Up, Stick a Boob in their Mouth.

    For Those who can't Afford Porn, it's Better to put Women's Tennis on TV, Close your Eyes and only Hear it.

    Most Interesting Line Written on the Front of T-Shirt of a Girl: Excuse Me ! My Face Is Above.

    Madam: Give 3 Advantages of Banana.
    Boys: 1. Rich Calcium. 2. Reduces Cholesterol. 3. No Risk of Cancer.
    Girls: 1. No Risk of Pregnancy. 2. No HIV. 3. No Need of Partner!

    Vicky Donor Special!
    Teacher: Why Sperm Donation is More Expensive Than Blood Donation?
    Pappu: Very Simple Madam Hand Made Things are Always Costly.

    Recession Signboard on the Door of a Prostitute.
    Summer Offer: Use Both Sides at Same Price or Any One Side Twice.

    Newly Wedded Couple After Sex.
    Husband: I'll be Frank, You are not the First Girl.
    Wife: I'll also be Frank, You Still Have to Learn a Lot.

    Prostitution is the Only Industry Where Fresh Employees are Paid More than the Experienced Ones.

    I was really angry when I lost quiz by 1 point. Last question was, "Where do women mostly have curly hair"?
    I was sure that I was correct, but stupid judges said Africa...!
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