• The Smallest Penis!

    One summer, the company that Morris worked for transferred him to another city. Morris was told that he had to take a new physical with the company doctor to continue to be employed.

    All the tests came out fine, but the doctor remarked that Morris had the smallest penis he'd ever seen.

    "Do you have any difficulties with it being so small?" the doctor asked.

    "Not at all" Morris said. "I've got a wife, three kids, and we have a great sex life. But I must admit I do sometimes have a problem finding it in the daytime." "What about at night?" the doctor asked.

    "Nights are no problem," Morris said, "because at night, there are two of us looking for it!"
  • Bruce & Mary

    Dad was in the field plowing when he noticed Mary run into the barn.

    A few seconds later Bruce runs into the barn after her. After about 20 minutes they still haven't come out of the barn, so Dad decides to see what they are doing.

    As he walks into the barn he see's Bruce on top of Mary and he was going to town. Dad thinks to himself that dirty bastard and picks up a shovel and whacks Bruce on the ass with it. Bruce jumps up and runs out side.
    Mary was still lying on the floor trying to cover up her modesty; Dad looked down at her and said, "I didn't think you had it in you Mary."

    "Neither did I dad," said Mary, "until you hit him on the ass with the shovel..."
  • Oh NO!!!

    The nuns at the local convent had their daily annoucement session. The mother superior walked out in front of the 100 nuns with a very serious frown on her face. She began to speak...

    Mother Superior: There had been a sinful deed committed here, yesterday.

    99 nuns: Oh, no!

    1 nun: Hee, hee, hee.

    Mother Superior: Today I found a pair a men's underwear.

    99 nuns: Oh, no!

    1 nun: Hee, hee, hee.

    Mother Superior: And I also found a condom.

    99 nuns: Oh, no!

    1 nun: Hee, hee, hee.

    Mother Superior: And it has been used!

    99 nuns: Oh, no!

    1 nun: Hee, hee, hee.

    Mother Superior: And there was a hole in it!

    1 nun: Oh, No!

    99 nuns: Hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee
  • Pissing Contest!

    A man & his wife were arguing about who was better, males or females?

    The argument turned into a pissing contest, literally.

    The wife claimed that she could piss higher up on a wall than her husband. The husband being a man and loving a challenge accepted the terms.

    So, they went behind their garage, where the wife proceeded to drop her pants and began to piss against the garage wall.
    The man started laughing when the best that she could do was only about 8 inches up the wall.

    Next, the man unzipped his fly and pulled out his manhood. But just when he was about to start, his wife screamed: Wait honey... No hands...!!!