• What's Your Favorite Word ?

    A radio station was running a competition: Tell a word that's not in the dictionary yet could still be used in a sentence that would make logical sense. The prize was a trip to Bali.

    DJ: "96 FM here, what's your name?"

    Caller: "Hi, my name's Dave."

    DJ: "Dave, what's your word?"

    Caller: "Goan... spelt G-O-A-N pronounced 'go-an'."

    DJ: "You are correct, Dave, 'goan' is not in the dictionary. Now, for a trip to Bali: What sentence can you use that word in that would make sense?"

    Caller: "Goan fuck yourself!"

    The DJ cut the caller off and took other calls, all unsuccessful until...

    DJ: "96 FM, what's your name?"

    Caller: "Hi, me name's Jeff."

    DJ: "Jeff, what's your word?"

    Caller: "Smee, spelt S-M-E-E, pronounced 'smee'."

    DJ: "You are correct, Jeff, 'smee' is not in the dictionary. Now, for a trip to Bali: What sentence can you use that word in that would make sense?"

    Caller: "Smee again! Goan fuck yourself!!!"
  • Missed Periods!!!

    Why I stopped dating school girls:

    She came to my place in a school uniform, looked me into my eyes and said, "Sweetheart, I have missed my periods..."

    Thats how I fainted & when I woke up in a hospital.

    I over heard her telling the nurse that, "I didn't know he cared so much about my academic life, all I wanted to tell him was that I had missed my periods for Maths and English, but he fainted before I could finish..."
  • Do it... or Walk Home!

    Josh lusted after Linda.

    When she finally agreed to go out with him, he took her out to dinner and then afterwards, drove her five miles out into the country, parked, and said passionately, "I want you right here, right now. Do it... or you can walk home!"

    Without saying a word, Linda got out of the car and walked home. A month later, after much apologising, Linda agreed to go out with Josh again.

    This time he drove ten miles out in the country, parked, and begged, "Please. I must make love to you right now. Do it... or walk home!"

    Again, Linda walked home. Two months later, after even more apologising and gifts of flowers and jewellery, she accepted another invitation. This time, just to make sure, Josh drove fifty miles out of town and gave her the same ultimatum. Without a word, Linda undressed and gave him the greatest sex of his young life.

    As they were driving home, Josh asked, "Why did you walk home the first two dates, when you so obviously enjoy sex?"

    Linda answered, "Well, it's like this: I'll walk five miles or even ten miles to save a friend from AIDS, but fifty..."
  • Funny Signboards!

    Signboard outside a Prayer Hall:
    Please Do Not Leave Your Bags, Wallets, Cell Phones Unattended... Others Might Think Those Are The Answers To Their Prayers.

    Signboard outside a prostitute's house:
    Married MEN are not allowed. We serve the needy, not the greedy...

    SignBoard outside GARAGE:
    If we can't repair your brakes we make your horns louder...

    Signboard outside A Bar:
    Those Of You Who Are Drinking To Forget, Please do Pay In Advance

    Signboard outside Driving School:
    "If Your Wife Wants To Learn To Drive, Don't Stand In Her Way.....

    Signboard outside Library:
    Statutory Warning... While reading Kamasutra, please hold the book with BOTH Hands...