|A man took his son to the zoo. They found the monkey cage very entertaining until the father noticed two monkeys in a compromising position which embarrassed him to no end because his son was watching.|
He walked up to the keeper and asked if he could stop them. The keeper told him that they are in their natural habitat and could not do anything about it. The father asked the keeper, "If I throw peanuts at them, do you think they would stop?"
The keeper looked at the father in the eye and said, "Would you?"
|This guy and his girlfriend were going at it hot and heavy in the backseat of his car.|
A knock was heard on the window and there stood a cop. The guy got out, shaking like a leaf. The cop said that he wouldn't arrest him if he could be next.
The guy got back in the car and finished with his girlfriend. When he got out again, he was still shaking like a leaf. The cop said there was no reason to be scared, because he wouldn't arrest him if he could be next.
The guy said, "I'm not afraid that you'll arrest me, it's just that I've never fucked a cop before!"
|A shapely Finnish girl was a counselor at a girl's camp on Wonder Lake.|
She was at the camp a day early to get things in order, and when her work was done, she thought it would be nice to start a sun tan "au natural", since this was private property.
Suddenly, she heard male voices! She jumped up, stood in a crouch, and covered her bosom with crossed arms. Two young men approached her, asking "Which way is it to the boy's camp on Wonder Lake?"
She said, "Oh, I know you guys, you just want me to point, so you can see my titties!"
"No, no," they said, "we just want to know what direction we must go, we're lost."
"O.K., she said, straightening up, and standing on her right leg and lifting her left leg horizontally, she said, "It's over dat way!"
|A foreign diplomat was sitting beside a very beautiful blonde who possessed all the social graces.|
During the course of the dinner, he put his hand under the table and started to feel her ankle. She gave him a brilliant smile. Encouraged, he went a little further and reached the calf of her leg with the same results. The lady smiled and he, becoming emboldened with this encouragement, went above the knees.
Very soon, giving the diplomat a lovely smile she leaned and whispered in his ear, "When you get far enough to discover that I'm a man, don't change the expression on your face-I'm Secret Agent No. 13."