|Signboard outside a Prayer Hall:|
Please Do Not Leave Your Bags, Wallets, Cell Phones Unattended... Others Might Think Those Are The Answers To Their Prayers.
Signboard outside a prostitute's house:
Married MEN are not allowed. We serve the needy, not the greedy...
SignBoard outside GARAGE:
If we can't repair your brakes we make your horns louder...
Signboard outside A Bar:
Those Of You Who Are Drinking To Forget, Please do Pay In Advance
Signboard outside Driving School:
"If Your Wife Wants To Learn To Drive, Don't Stand In Her Way.....
Signboard outside Library:
Statutory Warning... While reading Kamasutra, please hold the book with BOTH Hands...
|"Doctor, I need your help," the woman says.|
"What seems to be the problem?"
"My husband just doesn't satisfy me sexually. What can I do?"
"Hmmm. That's a bit out of my league. Has HE seen a doctor?"
"Yes, he has. He is perfectly OK. He just isn't enough for me. You've got to help me!"
"Er ... Why don't you take a lover?"
"I have! I still don't get enough."
"Take another lover."
"I did. In fact, I have eight lovers - and I still don't get enough sex!"
"Gosh, that's an anomaly."
"Oh, Doctor! Please tell them it's an anomaly! They all keep telling me I'm a whore!"
|Boyfriend (Texting to his girlfriendf): Hey baby...what's up?|
Girlfriend: Nothing much just washing my BOOBS.
Girfriend: Yeah. It has become very dirty. People keep stepping on it a lot.
Boyfriend: What the hell..!!! Girfriend: Why..?? Oh fish...! Sorry baby I meant 'BOOTS.' Damn this Autocorrect feature of these phones!
|A Soldier came to a fork in the road and saw a nun standing there.|
He asked her, "Please Sister, may I hide under your skirts for a few minutes. I'll explain WHY later."
The nun agreed to his request. Shortly thereafter, the two Military Police came running along and asked her if she had seen a soldier running down the road.
She replied, "He went that way."
After the MPs disappeared, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, "I can't thank you enough Sister, but you see I don't want to go To Iraq."
The nun said she can fully understand the fear.
The soldier added, "I hope you don't think me rude or impertinent, but you have the most beautiful pair of legs I've ever seen."
The nun replied, "If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen the most beautiful pair of balls you've ever seen! I don't want to go to Iraq either."