• Dating an Intellectual

    Two hot young ladies are talking one afternoon about the weekend just past. The first named Faba, and the second, Mujo, discussed Faba's last date.

    "You know what Mujo, I was out last night with an intellectual type." Faba declared.

    "What's that? What's do you mean intellectual type?" Mujo asked with curiosity.

    "Well, I mean I was dating a man who is very intellectual and intelligent," explained Faba to her friend.

    Mujo giggles, and asked, "So, how was it?"

    "First, he took me to dinner. Then he took me to a cinema movie. And then he took me out for a drive. After all that, he took me to his house. He began an intellectual conversation. And finally, he took out his penis."

    "What is this word, 'penis'," Mujo asked, unfamiliar with the clinical terminology.

    "Oh, it is what intellectuals have. It looks like a dick, just much smaller!"
  • On-Board Facilities

    A Priest was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London.

    After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him.

    The flight attendant then asked the Priest if he would like a drink.

    He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips."

    The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me, too, I didn't know we had a choice."
  • The Empty Store

    Two businessmen were taking a break while setting up their soon-to-open store's shelving units. There they sat, in the middle of nothing but empty shelves.

    One said, "I bet any minute now some smart aleck will stick his head in the door and ask what we're selling."
    Within minutes, a man did just that, "Hey, boys. Whacha sellin'?"

    One businessmen responded sarcastically, "We're selling a$$holes."

    Without missing a beat, he rejoined, "Looks like business is good; ya only got two left!"
  • The Melting Touch

    Once upon a time there lived a King. The King had a beautiful daughter, The PRINCESS. But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt. No matter what; Metal, Wood, Stone, Anything she touched would melt. Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her. The King despaired. What could he do to help his daughter?
    He consulted his wizards and magicians. One wizard told the King, "If your daughter touches one thing that does not melt in her hands, she will be cured."

    The King was overjoyed and came up with a plan. The next day, he held a competition. Any man that could bring his daughter an object that would not melt would marry her and inherit the King's wealth...


    The first brought a sword of the finest steel. But alas, when the Princess touched it, it melted. The prince went away sadly.

    The second prince brought diamonds.He thought diamonds are the hardest substance in the world and would not melt.

    But alas, once the Princess touched them, they melted. He too was sent away disappointed.

    The third prince approached. He told the Princess, "Put your hand in my pocket and feel what is in there."

    The Princess did as she was told, though she turned red. She felt something hard. She held it in her hand. And it did not melt!!!

    The King was overjoyed. Everybody in the kingdom was overjoyed. And the third Prince married the Princess and they both lived happily ever after.

    Question: What was in the Prince's pants?

    Cadbury's 5 Star. It melts in your mouth, not in your hand.
    But I appreciate ur thinking