• Wrong Choice of Words

    "What's the difference between the North American porcupine and the African porcupine," the society matron asked the zookeeper.

    "The principal difference is the North American species has a longer prick."

    This, as you might assume, distressed the matron who stormed immediately to the zoo manager's office.

    The zoo manager said, "Ma'am, I apologize for my staff's unfortunate choice of terms. What the keeper should have said is that the North American species has a longer QUILL. Their pricks are the same size."
  • Crazy Old Man Gets Erection

    A furious pounding in a hotel room in the middle of the night awakened a number of guests.

    The hotel manager went to the room, and when his knocks went unanswered, he let himself in. He found an elderly man cursing and banging on the wall with both fists.

    "Stop that immediately, sir!" the manager ordered. "You're disturbing everyone in the hotel."

    "Damn the hotel and everyone in it!" the elderly man hollered. "I just got an erection!"

    "Okay," said the hotel manager, "but why must you bang your fists against the wall?"

    "Because it's the first erection I've had in years and both of my hands are asleep!"
  • A Delicate Corporate Matter

    All of the 10 Senior Members of the Board of Directors of the Company were called into the Chairman's office one by one... until only Raghu, the junior-most Member, was left sitting outside.

    Finally it was his turn to be summoned...

    He entered the Office to find the Chairman and the ten other Directors seated around the Board Table.

    He was invited to join them, which he did.

    As soon as he had sat down, the Chairman turned to Raghu, looked at him squarely in the eye and in a stern voice, asked...

    "Raghu, have you ever slept with Mrs. Julie, my Secretary ?"

    "Oh, no sir, positively not," Raghu replied.

    "Are you absolutely sure ?" asked the Chairman.

    "Honest, I've never been close enough to even touch her!"

    "You'd swear to that ? "

    "Yes, I swear I've never slept with Mrs. Julie anytime, anywhere."

    "Good, then YOU FIRE HER from the job, We Can't."
  • I Betcha...

    A salesman came across a house that had a large number of cars parked outside it. Intrigued, he stopped and decided to sell his double glazing to the owner.

    Answering the door was a gorgeous young woman, and the salesman started into his banter.

    After she turned down his offer for double glazing, his curiosity got the better of him and he asked how she came to acquire so many cars.

    "Well," she said. "I make bets with gentlemen, they lose they give me their car."

    The salesman becoming more intrigued, asks, "What does the bet entail?"

    All they have to do is copy exactly what my son does."

    "Is that all? How old is your son?"

    "He's only seven."

    With this the salesman can't resist anymore.

    "OK, I'll bet you I can do exactly what your son can do and if you win you get my car, but what do I get?"

    "I'll buy your double glazing and give you a good time in my bedroom."

    The salesman agrees and the woman calls her son.

    "Right, Tommy I want you to put your hand up my blouse."

    Tommy puts his hand up his mother's blouse and the salesman does exactly the same.

    "Tommy, put your hand in my bra."

    Tommy puts his hand in his mother's bra and the salesman does exactly the same.

    "Tommy I want you to put your other hand up my skirt."

    Tommy puts his hand up his mother's skirt and the salesman does exactly the same.

    "Now Tommy, I want you to bend your dick in half.

    The salesman hands her his keys.