|The agent for a beautiful actress discovered one day that she had been selling her body at a hundred pounds a night.|
The agent, who had long lusted for her, hadn't dreamed that she had been so easily obtainable. He approached her, told her how much she turned him on, and how much he wanted to make it with her.
She agreed to spend the night with him, but said he would have to pay her the same hundred pounds that the other customers did.
He scratched his head, considered it, and then asked, "Don't I even get my agent's ten percent as a deduction?"
"No siree," she said. "If you want it, you're going to have to pay full price for it, just like the other clients."
The agent didn't like that at all, but he agreed.
That night, she came to his apartment after her performance at a local night club. The agent did her at midnight, after turning out all the lights.
At 1 A.M., she was awakened again. Again she was vigorously done. In a little while, she was awakened again, and again she was made love to again. The actress was impressed with her lover's vitality.
"My goodness," she whispered in the dark, "you are so virile. I never realized how lucky I was to have you for my agent."
"I'm not your agent, lady," a strange voice answered. "He's at the darn door selling tickets."
|Lola, a saleswoman for a major condom company was required to travel cross-country to meet a prospective buyer.|
Her boss asked her to take about 100 condoms of various types with her.
As she was running late for her flight, she simply stuffed them all into her briefcase.
The cab ride to the airport was delayed by traffic and she had just enough time to throw her ticket at the counter and run onto the plane.
As she jumped into the airplane, she dropped her briefcase and all the condoms flew out all over the floor in front of all the passengers and crew.
They all stared amazed at the display and then looked at Lola, who said sheepishly, "I'm meeting a new client."
|A guy goes to see the doctor because he's been a little too well endowed, shall we say. In fact, it's 25 inches long. Can't get any women to have sex with him.|
Anyway, the doctor says there's nothing he can do medically, but sends him to see a Witch that he thinks might be able to help.
The Witch takes a look at the problem (yikes!) and tells him to go to a particular pond, deep in the forest, and talk to a frog that lives there.
"Ask the frog to marry you and each time the frog says no, you'll be 5 inches shorter."
Worth a try, he thinks, and off he dashes into the forest. He finds the pond and sees the frog on the other side, sitting on a log.
"Will you marry me?" he calls to the frog. The frog looks at him, disinterested at best, and calls back, "No!"
The guy looks down, sure enough, he's 5 inches shorter. Hey this is great, he thinks- let's try that again.
"Will you marry me?" he asks the frog. The frog rolls his eyes, and shouts back again, "No!"
Twitch-the guy's down to 15 inches. Well, that's still a bit excessive, he thinks. Down another 5 would be perfect.
So he calls across again, "Will you marry me?"
The frog yells back, "Look -how many times do I have to tell you? No! No! No!"
|One day a young cowboy and cowgirl decided to get married. He was a man of the world. She was an innocent bride with no experience. After the wedding they left for their honeymoon. While driving down the road, the new bride sees two cows having sex.|
The new bride asks, "What are them cows up to honey?"
The husband, a bit flustered, answers, "Why can't you see? Them cows, they're roping!"
She replies, "Oh, I see!"
After a few more hours of driving they pass two horses having sex.
Again the bride asks, "What are them horses doing honey?"
The husband answers again, "Them horses, they're roping!"
She replies,"Oh, I see!"
Finally they arrive at their hotel. The couple washed up and started to get ready for bed. When they got in the bed, they start to explore each other's bodies. Things are going along fine until the bride discovers her husband's penis.
"Oh my!" she cries. "What is that?"
"Well, darlin'" he chuckles proudly, "That's ma' rope!"
"She slides her hands down further and gasps, "Oh my goodness! What are those?" she asks.
"Honey, those're my knots!" he answers.
Finally the couple begins to make love.
After several minutes the bride says, "Stop honey, wait a minute!"
Her husband, panting a little, asks, "What's the matter honey, am I hurting you?"
"No," the bride replies, "undo them damn knots, I need more rope!