• Too Exhausted Afer Sex

    A Doctor recently had a patient "drop" in on him for an unscheduled appointment.

    "What can I do for you today?" the Doctor asked.

    The aged gentleman replied, "Doctor, you must help me. Every time I make love to my wife, my eyes get all bleary, my legs go weak, I can hardly catch my breath... Doctor, I'm scarred!"

    The Doctor, looking at his 86 year old patient, said, "Mr. Smith, these sensations tend to happen over time, especially to a man of your advanced years, but tell me, when did you first notice these symptoms?"

    The old gent's response was, "Well... three times last night, and twice again this morning!"
  • I Never Said 'No'

    Jack had a blind date with Jill for the prom and, as the evening progressed, he found himself more and more attracted to her.

    After some really passionate embracing, he said, "Tell me, do you object to making love?"

    "That is something I have never done before," Jill replied.

    "Never made love? You mean you are a virgin?"

    Jack was amazed.

    "No, silly!" she giggled. "I've never objected!"
  • Rye Bread

    Two old aged guys, one 70 and one 75, were sitting on a park bench one morning. The 75-year-old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath. The 70-year-old was amazed at the guy's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.

    The 75-year-old said, "Well, I eat rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies."

    So, on the way home the 70-year-old stopped at the bakery. As he was looking around, the saleslady asked if he needed any help.

    He said, "Do you have any rye bread?"

    She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?"

    He said, "I want five loaves."

    She said, "My goodness, five loaves! By the time you get to the 3rd loaf, it'll be hard."

    He replied, "I can't believe everybody knows about this shit except me!!!"
  • Get to Work

    A guy runs into his office, wearing only a hat and carrying a briefcase. His boss stops him and says, "What are you doing, Cliff? Do you realize you're naked? Shouldn't this be your day off?"

    Cliff calmly explains that he was on a party when suddenly the lights went out. Some voice said, 'Gentleman, take off your ties.'

    Somebody turned on the lights again and not a single guy was wearing a tie.

    The situation repeated - the lights went out, but this time the voice said, 'Gentleman, strip naked.'

    When the light went back on, the ladies started giggling and clapping their hands becuase all the guys were naked.

    The lights went out again and this time the voice said, 'Ladies, take your clothes off!'

    When the light came back on, all the ladies were naked.

    The same voice said, 'Gentleman, now get to work!'

    So I grabbed my hat and briefcase and came here, sir."