• I Fucked Her In The Bed Yesterday

    Professor Ernest Brennecke of Columbia is credited with inventing a sentence that can be made to have eight different meanings by placing ONE WORD in all possible positions in the sentence:
    "I fucked her in the bed yesterday."

    The word is "ONLY"

    The Message:
    1. ONLY I fucked her in the bed yesterday. (No one else did).

    2. I ONLY fucked her in the bed yesterday. (Confirmation).

    3. I fucked ONLY her in the bed yesterday. (I did not fuck others).

    4. I fucked her ONLY in the bed yesterday (I did not fuck outside the bed).

    5. I fucked her in ONLY the bed yesterday (Not other places).

    6. I fucked her in the ONLY bed yesterday (He doesn't have another bed).

    7. I fucked her in the bed ONLY yesterday (Not today).

    8. I fucked her in the bed yesterday ONLY (Did not wait for today).

    This is the beauty and complexity of the English language.
  • How To Make A Girl Scream

    There were these three folks outside of a bar. There was a dark gentleman, a white fellow, and a Chinese gentleman.

    They all had been in the bar before and saw this gorgeous ladies. Well they made a wager to see who could make the lady shout.

    The dark gentleman goes in a turns out and the ladies is snickering, and afterward the white folks goes in, well after he turns out she is giggling much harder.

    The Chinese gentleman goes in and a following a couple of minutes she is yelling to point of becoming horse.

    At that point he turns out, and the other two folks said how could you have been able to you do that, and the Chinese fellow goes, "Me Chinese... me play deceive, me put hot sauce on my dick!"
  • Too Honest, Too Straightforward

    A guy is sitting in a bar, absolutely drooling at a pretty young woman in her short mini-skirt. Using the time-honored ice breaker, he sends her a drink.

    "How lucky am I," he thinks, as she gets up to come sit next to him. They strike up a wonderful conversation.

    Finally the girl turns to him and says, "Look, you seem like a really nice guy, so I have to tell you that I'm a working girl. I get two hundred dollars for what you think you'll get out of me by plying me with liquor."

    He replies, "I have no problem with the money but, since you were so straightforward I must tell you that when I come, I go nuts. I bite, scratch, kick, punch, pull hair, break furniture, and just plain destroy the place."

    "Oh my God! How long does that last?" she asks.

    "Just until I get my two hundred bucks back," he replies.
  • Man's Most Important Organ

    A male's most important Organ supposedly as described by some of these most beautiful women of the world at the Miss Universe Contest.

    Question: Ms Australia, how do you describe a Male Organ in your country?
    Ms Australia : Well, I can say that Male Organs in Australia are like labourers.
    Question: How can you say so?
    Ms Australia: Because they work day and night.
    (Applause! Applause! Applause!)

    Question: Ms Malaysia, how do you describe a Male Organ in your country?
    Ms Malaysia: Well, I can say that Male Organs in Malaysia are like Proton Cars.
    Question: How can you say so?
    Ms Malaysia: Because they look tough but are actually very soft.
    (Applause! Applause! Applause!)

    Question: Ms Kuwait, how do you describe a Male Organ in your country?
    Ms Kuwait: Well, I can say that Male Organs in Kuwait are like thieves.
    Question: How can you say so?
    Ms Kuwait: Because they like to enter through the back door.

    (Applause! Applause! Applause!)

    Question: Ms Philippines, how do you describe a Male Organ in your country?
    Ms Philippines: Well, I can say that Male Organs in our country are like gossips or rumours.
    Question: How can you say so?
    Ms Philippines: Because they pass from mouth to mouth.
    (Applause! Applause! Applause!)

    Question: Ms America, how do you describe a Male Organ in your country?
    Ms America: Well, I can say that Male Organs in our country are like gentlemen.
    Question: How can you say so?
    Ms America: Because they stand up every time they see a woman.
    (Applause! Applause! Applause!)

    AND THE AWARD GOES TO Ms India...
    Question: Ms India, how do you describe a Male Organ in your country?
    Ms India: Well, I can say that Male Organs in India are like Rats.
    Question: How can you say so?
    Ms India: Because they are always searching for new holes day and night......
    (Applause! Applause! Standing Ovation)
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