|A gentleman goes to see the doctor about getting something done about his missing penis, which he lost in the war.|
The doctor asks the man how many males were in his family and the gentleman replied Eight.
The doctor said if they all agreed, he could take an inch off of each male and the gentleman would have a eight inch penis.
The gentleman asked the other males in his family if they would agree to having the surgery and everyone said yes. The next day all eight males went into the hospital to have the surgery. After it was all performed the doctor told the gentleman that he had a brand new eight inch penis, but to be extremely careful with it and to come back and see him in a week.
The next week the gentleman goes back to see the doctor and the doctor asked him how his new penis was working.
The gentleman replied, "Great doc, but I only have one question. Who's brilliant idea was it to put grandpa's part in the middle?"
|Gary, a travelling salesman once got caught up in a blizzard and got shelter with a farmer who had three daughters.|
The farmer called him aside and told him, "Young man, I have three daughters, so stay in your room the whole night and no tricks, be warned."
In the morning, Gary, the salesman came down and the farmer asked him, "How was your night, young man?"
"Oh! Slept like a rabbit. Thanks for your hospitality; I will never forget it."
The farmer felt very happy and at the bar that night mentioned this fact to his close friend.
He was boasting what a good father he had been by keeping his daughters away from trouble.
His friend laughed aloud and said, "You fool! A rabbit does not sleep at night. It goes from hole to hole the whole night!"
|Judi and Jon got married and she was at the drug store looking at the men's toiletries.|
A clerk comes up to help her and asks if she needs assistance.
"I'm looking for some deodorant for my new husband Jon, but I don't know what type he uses."
The clerk says, "Is it the ball type?"
"No," says Judi, "it's for his underarms."
|The racing-car driver picked up a girl after a race, went home with her and took her to bed. He fell asleep only to be awakened suddenly when she smacked him in the face.|
"What's the matter?!? Didn't I satisfy you?" he asked.
"It was after you fell asleep that got you into trouble," said the angry woman.
"In your sleep, you felt my ta-tas and mumbled, 'What perfect headlights.' Then you felt my thighs and murmured, 'what a smooth finish.'"
"What's wrong with that?" asked the driver.
"Nothing, but then you felt my pussy and yelled, 'who the hell left the garage door open?'"