|A 19 year old lad has been dating a 17 year old girl for a few months. They've been to the pictures and return to her home where she lives with her father, mother having passed on several years previously.|
They settle down to amuse themselves on the sofa in the sitting room, whilst the old man watches telly in the back room.
Now the girl is a good example, and looks after her Dad: she in turn is the apple of his eye. So naturally, he's worried sick about her well being and eventually just has to break off from watching Panorama to knock gently on the living room door.
The girl opens it.
"Hi Sue, you couldn't make me a cup of tea, could you?"
"Course I can Dad," she replies, and trots off into the kitchen to put the kettle on.
Meanwhile, the old man sits down on the sofa with the lad to have a word.
"Look, son," he says. "I remember when I was your age, pulling the birds and trying my luck. Thing is, I'm worried about our Sue."
"Why, what's up with her?" replies the lad.
"Well, I shouldn't really tell you, but she's got acute angina."
"Oh, I know..." says the lad. "... great pair of tits too!"
|A young couple were on their honeymoon and were staying at a hotel with a large swimming pool. They decided to go for a swim, and the bride donned a new bikini that she had recently purchased. As she swam and splashed around in the pool, she soon discovered that the bikini was to large, and the top and bottom kept coming off. As they were the only ones in the pool, she and her husband would laugh and playfully retrieve the bikini from the pool's bottom.|
That evening they dressed for dinner and headed to their hotel's elegant restaurant, where they were seated next to a huge aquarium. Strangely, the aquarium was devoid of any aquatic life.
When the bride asked their waiter why the aquarium had no fish in it, he smiled broadly and said, "That's not an aquarium... that's the swimming pool!"
|I had a friend who during his vacation to Thailand, ordered a massage session in his room, one for his wife and one for him.|
After massaging the man for a long time, the Thai girl said, "
He kept quiet ...
The Thai masseuse again said, "Massage Pinis... Sir!"
There was again silence.
Finally his wife spoke, "Don't have high hopes...She's saying 'Massage Finish' ..."
|A young under-educated man applied for a job in an office as a custodian. He filled out the application, then went in for an interview with the woman in charge of Personnel when his name was called.|
After the interview, he left and hooked up with his homies.
One asked, "How'd it go?"
The guy answered, "First part was smooth. But den she wanted to see my testimonials. So I unzipped my pants and showed 'em -- and she freaked! There went da job!"