|A husband and wife were in the bathroom getting ready for work when the husband looked at his wife and said, "I gotta have you!"|
He backed her up against the bathroom door, pulled down her panties and ravaged her.
He knew he was doing great because she screamed and wiggled more than she ever had before.
When he finished, he started putting his clothes back on and when he noticed his wife still writhing against the door.
He said, "That was the best, honey. You've never moved like that before, you didn't hurt yourself did you?"
His wife replies, "No, no. I'll be OK once I can get the doorknob out of my ass."
|On their 50th wedding anniversary an old couple decide to spice up their sex life with a KamaSutra handbook they picked up at a local News Agency.|
They looked astonishingly at the various positions contained therein. One in particular showed a couple seated opposite one another, naked and with their legs spread apart.
The man was to try to roll marbles between the woman’s legs and she was to try to throw plastic hoop-la-hoops around his private.
The old woman and man smiled at one another, "This is it!" they giggled.
The old man said "Ok.. I'll go get the bowling ball."
The old woman said, "Ok.. I'll take off my wedding ring."
|A young couple was married, and celebrated their first night together, doing what newlyweds do, time and time again, all night long.|
Morning comes and the groom goes into the bathroom but finds no towel when he emerges from the shower. He asks the bride to please bring one from the bedroom.
When she gets to the bathroom door, he opened the door, exposing his body for the first time to his bride where she sees all of him well.
Her eyes went up and down and at about midway, they stopped and stared, and she asked shyly, "What's THAT?", pointing to a small part of his anatomy.
He, also being shy, thought for a minute and then said, "Well, that's what we had so much fun with last night."
And she, in amazement asked, "Is that all we have left?"
|An elderly couple scheduled their annual medical examination the same day so they could travel together.|
After the examination, the doctor then said to the elderly man, "You appear to be in good health, do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?"
"In fact I do," said the man, "After I have sex with my wife for the first time, I am usually hot and sweaty. And then, after I have sex with my wife the second time, I am usually cold and chilly."
"This is very interesting," replied the doctor, "Let me do some research and get back to you."
After examining the elderly lady, the doctor said, "Everything appears to be fine. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?"
The lady replied that she had no questions or concerns.
The doctor then asked, "Your husband had an unusual concern. He claims that he is usually hot and sweaty after having sex with you, and then cold and chilly after the second time. Do you know why?"
"Oh, that old buzzard," she replied, "That's because the first time is usually in July and the second time in December."