|Jill had been sick for quite a while with a sore throat and a cough. Her doctor had told her that she could infect John, so there was to be NO intimate contact between them until she was well. That was why they had played cards every night for a couple of weeks. When she finally got a clean bill of health from her doctor, Jill was delighted.|
That evening at home, she was in the bathroom when she heard John call, "Should I get the cards, Jill?"
"Yeah!" shouted Jill. "I'll be right out."
In a few minutes, John shouted, "I can't find the cards, Jill."
"That's okay, John," said Jill, as she walked out of the bathroom in a bikini made from playing cards.
"Wanna shuffle, John?" she asked.
|One day, a man came home from work and greeted his wife. Upon seeing him, she asked for $20 to buy meat to fix for dinner that night.|
He leads her to a mirror, holds up the $20 bill and says to her, "Honey, the $20 in the mirror is yours. The other belongs to me."
Satisfied with his ingenious remark, he sits back and the incident is forgotten.
The next day, he came home and greeted his wife. When he went in the dining room, the table was laden with meats and delicious foods.
Shaken, he asked his wife where she had gotten the money.
She leads him to the same mirror and lifts up her skirt, "See that pussy in the mirror? That one belongs to you. The other belongs to the butcher."
|A traveling salesman is in a small town in the Midwest, when his trip is suddenly prolonged for an extra month.|
He was already getting bored there and over the course of the extra month he becomes very homesick.
Finally, he decides to give in to temptation and visit the local 'Fun House' for some quality time.
He walks up to the madam and hands her a thousand dollars and says, "Give me the worst girl in the house."
The madam says, "For this kind of money, you can have the best one."
"No, no," says the man, "you don't understand, I'm not horny, I'm homesick."
|Bill gets a call from his buddy Doug one day, and Doug is on the phone crying.|
Bill asks, "Doug, what's wrong? You sound really upset."
"Well," replies Doug, "my wife's been cheatin' on me."
"With who?" asks Bill.
"The neighbor," replies Doug.
"That damn dirty slut!" says Bill.
"Yeah," replies Doug, "you think I was upset, you should've heard how upset the neighbor's husband was!"