|A groom passed down the aisle of the church to take his place by the altar. The best man noticed that the groom had the biggest, brightest smile on his face.|
The best man asked, "Hey man, I know you are happy to be getting married, but what's up with that smile?"
The groom replied, "I just had the best blow job I have ever had in my entire life and I am marrying the wonderful woman who gave it to me."
The bride came walking down the aisle, and she too had the biggest, brightest smile on her face.
The maid of honor noticed this and asked, "Hey, I know you are happy to be getting married, but what's up with that smile?"
The bride replied, "I'll never have to give another blow job for the rest of my life!"
|A young couple married, and celebrated their first night together doing what newlyweds do, time and time again, all night long.|
When they get up in the morning, the groom goes into the bathroom but finds no towel when he gets out of the shower. He asks the bride to please bring one from the bedroom.
When she gets to the bathroom door, he opens the door, exposing his body for the first time to his bride where she sees all of him well.
Her eyes went up and down and at about midway, they stopped.
She asked shyly, "What's that?" pointing to a small part of his anatomy.
He, also shy, thought for a minute and said, "Well, that's what we had so much fun with last night."
She, in amazement, asked, "Is that all we have left?"
|My mother-in-law visited me and my wife but coincidentally, that day my wife was feeling horny and she did not want to whisper to me since I was busy sharing stories with her mother.|
My wife tricked me by pretending she has headache and went straight to the bedroom.
After some minutes, I followed her leaving her mother in the sitting room. I took some time there, but when I came back I had forgotten to close my zip.
Mother-in-law: How is she feeling now???
Me: She is now feeling better, I have given her paracetamol.
Mother-in-law: Good. Now close the pharmacy.
|Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their sex lives.|
Karen said, "I call my husband the dentist because nobody can drill like he does."
Joanne giggled and confessed, "I call my husband the miner, because of his incredible shaft."
Kathy quietly sipped her whiskey until Joanne finally asked, "Well, what do you call your boyfriend?"
Kathy frowned and said, "The postman."
Looking puzzled Joanne asked, "Why the postman?"
"Because... he always delivers late and half the time it's in the wrong box.