• 9 Pounds of Gold

    A husband and wife were very happy over the nine pound baby boy that was born to them. Mr. Brown who could not conceal his delight, called up the editor of famous newspaper and reported that he had become the proud owner of a nine pound nugget of gold. The editor upon hearing seemingly extraordinary news, sent his star reporter to interview Mr. Brown.

    When reporter came, Mr.Brown was away and his wife was alone at home....

    Reporter: Does Mr.Brown live here?
    Mrs. Brown: Oh! yes.

    Reporter: Is he in?
    Mrs. Brown: No, he went somewhere.

    Reporter: Is it true that he owns nine pound nugget of gold?
    Mrs. Brown: (Realising the joke) Yes! Indeed.

    Reporter: Can I see the place where he found it?
    Mrs. Brown: I'm afraid not because Mr.Brown objects in as much as it is strictly private.

    Reporter: Is the place far?
    Mrs. Brown: No, it is quite near and convenient.

    Reporter: How many years has Mr.Brown been digging the hole?
    Mrs. Brown: Just about two years.

    Reporter: Is the hole deep?
    Mrs. Brown: Quiet so...

    Reporter: At about what time Mr.Brown starts digging?
    Mrs. Brown: Oh, he does his digging mostly at night.

    Reporter: Does he work hard on it?
    Mrs. Brown: You bet....and how he perspires.

    Reporter: Is Mr.Brown the first to dig?
    Mrs. Brown: He thought he was....

    Reporter: How do you know there was someone ahead of him?
    Mrs. Brown: I'm in good position to say so, because I own the place.

    Reporter: Oh, I see, but you sold the place to Mr.Brown?
    Mrs. Brown: No, but for present he has the legal title to the site.

    Reporter: Has Mr.Brown any helper when he works?
    Mrs. Brown: Yes, I work under him....

    Reporter: When do you think Mr.Brown will sell the place?
    Mrs. Brown: I don't think so because he enjoys working on it.

    Reporter: Can I see the nine pound nugget of gold?
    Mrs. Brown: Yes, certainly...

    (She showed him the nine pound baby boy... The reporter had to be taken to the hospital)
  • Turn Over!

    A young couple is on their honeymoon.

    After start having great sex, he says, "Now you won't see me for a while."

    "We're on our honeymoon!" she exclaims. "Where the heck do YOU think you're going?"

    "Nowhere, sweetheart," he says. "Turn over."
  • Ransom Call

    Bubba's wife was abducted by a gang of kidnappers who were demanding ten grand for her return.

    On the phone they said, "If you don't pay by nine tomorrow morning, Winston with the twelve inch cock will help himself to your wife."

    Bubba replied, "Put her on so I know you have her."

    His wife came on, "Honey, pay the bastards, I beg you, pleaseeee.... but leave it till half past nine or a quarter to ten."
  • Sneezing Problem

    This NRI Gujarati guy from Halifax in Canada gets married back home to a beautiful, voluptuous, village belle from Navsari, the best of the lot in the whole of Gujarat. On the wedding night, the big night, man is bloody impatient to get into action. Finally the big moment arrives and they leave the couple alone in the bed room.

    He strips, tears her clothes off and after 10 minutes of wild action he hears his wife sneeze, which puts him off gear. Disappointed, he gets off, and quietly goes off to sleep.

    The next day, he pardons his wife for her untimely behaviour, and again starts looking forward to the night. But again in the night after 10 mins, the wife starts sneezing. The husband is quite put off and again turns over and goes to sleep.

    The next day he confides in his doctor & invites him to actually witness the sad debacle. So in the night, the doctor is hiding behind the curtain when the husband begins his act. Sure enough, after 10 mins, the wife starts sneezing.

    The Canadian Gujju husband immediately gets up & approaches the doctor, "See, what did I tell you!"

    The doctor, takes off his shoe and starts hammering the Canadian Gujju.

    The husband is quite perturbed, and asks the doctor the meaning of all this. The doctor tells him, "Arey gadheda, kya Canada ja kar Gujerati bhool gaya? She is not sneezing, you idiot, she is saying 'Awuchu, Awuchu' (I am Coming, Coming)."