• The First Night

    Fanny and Myron get married and on their first night in bed, Myron puts his arm around Fanny and very sweetly whispers, "Fanny darling, please pull up your nightgown."

    Very sweetly Fanny answers, "Nooooo."

    Myron asks again, a little sterner, "Fanny pull up your nightgown."

    Fanny again says, "Noooo."

    Myron is now angry and says, "Fanny, pull up your nightgown or I'm going out the door and you'll never see me again."

    "Nooo." says Fanny.

    So Myron gets up and goes out the front door, slamming it behind him. Fanny immediately gets up and locks the door.

    Not too long after, Myron is back. He tries the front door but finds it locked. So he taps on the door and says, "Fanny, my darling, open the door, it's me."

    Fanny says, "Nooo."

    Myron knocks a little louder, "Fanny, sweetness, please open the door."

    "NO." says Fanny.

    Myron starts kicking the door and shouts, "Fanny, open this door right now or I'll break it down."

    Fanny says, "Really? A door you can break down, but a nightgown you can't pull up?"
  • One Word or Two?

    An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married.

    Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on. Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship.

    "How do you feel about sex?" he asked, rather tentatively.

    "I would like it infrequently," she replied.

    The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, leaned over towards her and whispered, "Is that one word or two?"
  • Bachelor Party

    Bob's father and friends were throwing him the best bachelor party ever. There were hookers and strippers, tons of food, and best of all, some great porno flicks.

    Feeling the beer, Bob's dad stands up and hollers to get everyone's attention.

    "I want to propose a toast to my son! Bob, I'm so glad I could be here with you on the happiest day of your life."

    "But, Pop," Bob said, I'm not getting married until tomorrow!"

    Bob's dad interrupted and said, "Like I said, I'm so glad I could be here with you on the happiest day of your life."
  • Cooking Socks!!!

    Woke up this morning, got dressed and went in the kitchen where my wife was already fixing breakfast.

    I looked to see what she was cooking, and I see one of my socks in the frying pan.

    "What are you doing?" I asked her.

    "I'm doing what you asked me to do last night when you came to bed very drunk," she replied.

    Completely puzzled, I walked away thinking to myself........."I don't remember asking her to cook my sock."