|Banta went into a bar ordered a double whiskey. He was there, sipping his drink when Santa came up and said, "Is that you Banta?"|
Banta said, "My name is Banta, but I don’t think I know you."
Santa said, "Sure you do, its me, Santa. We used to work at the same office together before it closed down."
Santa said, "Now I remember you, but what happened to you? You are all in scruffy clothes. We got good money when we were laid off. What happened?"
Santa said, "I blew it all on cars, women and drink. I'm totally broke now, but look at you, Banta. All the best clothes and I've seen your swell car outside. How did you do it?"
Banta said, "Well I wanted to make my money work for me. So I thought if you have some money, Mumbai is the best place to do that. I bought a three-story house. On the first floor there was ordinary sex - just men and women. On the second floor homo sex - you know, men screwing men, and on the third floor paedophile sex for those who like children. I must say I made a fortune. Mind you it was hard work - just me, the wife, and the kids."
|A Doctor wanted to get off work and go hunting, so he approached his assistant, "Banta, I am going hunting tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all of our patients".|
"Yes, sir!!!" answers Banta.
The doctor goes hunting and returns the following day and asks, "So, Banta, How was your day?" Banta told him that he took care of three patients.
"The first one had a Headache so I gave him Analgin."
"Bravo Mate, and the second one?" asks the doctor.
"The second one had running nose and I gave him Coldarin, sir" says Banta.
"Bravo, bravo! You're good at this and what about the third one?" asks the doctor.
"Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door opens and a woman enters like a flame, she undresses herself, taking off everything including her bra and her panties and lies down on the table and shouts:
HELP ME! For 5 years I have not seen any man!!!!!"
And what did you do Banta?" asks the doctor.
"I put drops in her eyes!!!
|There were three women who were at the gynaecologist having pre-natal checkups.|
The doctor asked the first woman, "In what position was the baby conceived?"
"He was on top," she replied.
"You will have a boy!" the doctor exclaimed.
The second woman was asked the same question.
"I was on top," was the reply.
"You will have a baby girl." said the doctor.
With this, Jeeto, Santa's wife burst into tears.
"What's the matter?" asked the doc.
"Am I going to have puppies?"
|Shortly after they were married, Preeto was complaining to her mother about Banta's insatiable sexual appetite.|
"He wants to do it fifteen times a day -- anytime, anyplace, anywhere; on the table, on the stairs, on the sofa, in the car, in the morning, in the afternoon, and in the evening. I can barely walk anymore."
The mother advises her daughter to tell him she's on her period, which seems like a good idea.
So that evening, when Banta comes home from work, he proceeds to undress himself and Preeto.
She stops him, "I'm sorry sweetie, but it's that time of the month."
Banta gets up, looks at her and says, "It's all good honey. I understand."
He puts on a robe and walks away. Preeto is somewhat surprised at Banta's mature reaction, but a few minutes later, he returns holding two glasses and a bottle of Whiskey.
So she asks, "What's going on dear?"
"We're celebrating!", he replies.
"Celebrating? What exactly are we celebrating?" she asks.
"Oral Sex Week!"