|A man was going door-to-door doing a sexual survey in Santa's neighbourhood.|
"How often a week do you sleep with your wife?" asked the inquirer.
"Eight times in a month," Santa said proudly without hesitation.
"That is twice more often than your neighbour Banta," the inquirer said, writing.
"That makes sense," Santa said, "after all, she's MY wife."
|Santa goes into the hospital for a vasectomy.|
Before the procedure, a very attractive nurse comes in and takes his vitals, then tells him to take all of his clothes off.
When he is fully undressed, she instructs him to lie down on the table. Santa obeys. The nurse Luvleen then takes all of her clothes off and climbs on top and has her way with him.
Upon the completion of the act, Santa catches his breath and asks what that was all about. The nurse informs the patient that studies have shown that before a vasectomy if the man has an ejaculation, he will be more relaxed and that the cord is easier for the surgeon to locate and sever, thereby making the surgery safer, more efficient and quicker.
She then wheels the patient, Santa, to the operating room. While they are going down the hall, Santa looks through a window to the right and sees six men in a room masturbating.
Curious, Santa asks, "What are they doing in there"?
The nurse responds, "They're preparing for vasectomies too, but whereas you have come through Max HealthCare - they have come through ECHS referrals !"
|Santa found Banta, lying beside the road after a car accident. Banta was crying hysterically. Santa stopped his car and ran to him.|
"Yaar Banta! Are you all right?"
Sobbing, Banta moaned, "Look at my new car!" pointing to it, wrapped around a tree.
"Oye Banta, please don't cry. You can always get another car."
"But look inside the car."
Santa did and said, "Oh..., that's terrible. But don't cry yaar! You can always get another girlfriend."
Banta wailed, "Look inside her mouth !!!"
|The mother-in-law arrives home from the shops to find her son-in-law Banta in a steaming rage and hurriedly packing his suitcase.|
"What happened Banta ?" she asks anxiously. "What happened!?! I'll tell you what happened. I sent an email to Preeto telling her I was coming home today from my fishing trip. I get home and guess what I found ? Yes, your daughter, my wife Peeto, naked with my friend in our marital bed! This is unforgivable, the end of our marriage. I'm done. I'm leaving forever!"
"Ah now, calm down, calm down!" says his mother-in-law. "There is something very odd going on here. Jean would never do such a thing! There must be a simple explanation. I'll go speak to her immediately and find out what happened."
Moments later, the mother-in-law comes back with a big smile.
"Banta.... I told you there must be a simple explanation... she never got your email!!!"