|Santa comes back home from work to find Jeeto has left him a note: Off to the market!|
He hasn't been *getting any* from her, so he decides this is his chance and goes to the video store to rent a porn flick. He puts the video in, and starts masturbating.
He's about to climax when all of a sudden Jeeto comes in, drops her grocery bags, runs over and gives him the blowjob of his life. Then she collects all the bags and goes to the kitchen.
Santa is sitting there, stunned, amazed at what just happened. After a couple of minutes he regroups and goes to the kitchen where he finds Jeeto chopping vegetables.
He asks her, "We haven't had sex for over six months and all of a sudden you come in..... what happened?!"
To which Jeeto replied, "I just cleaned the carpet this morning. I would rather go brush my teeth than to have to clean the carpet again."
|A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to Santa on an overseas flight. After a few cocktails, the men began discussing their home lives.|
"Last night I made love to my wife four times," the Frenchman bragged, "and this morning she made me delicious crepes and told me how much she adored me."
"Ah, last night," the Italian said, "I made love to my wife six times, and this morning she made me a wonderful omelette and told me she could never love another man."
When Santa remained silent, the Frenchman smugly asked, "And how many times did you make love to your wife last night?"
"Once," he replied.
"Only once!?" the Italian arrogantly snorted while the Frenchman laughed, "And what did she say to you this morning?"
"She said, 'I guess we had better stop - it's time to go to the airport.'"
|There's a few men who always get together on Fridays after work for a drink. One Friday, Banta showed up late, sat down at the bar, and kicked back his entire first beer in one gulp.|
Then he turned to Santa and said, "Times are getting tough my friend, I mean, just today my wife told me that she's going to cut me back to only two times a week... I can't believe it."
At which point Santa put his hand on Banta's shoulder and said reassuringly, "You think you've got it bad, she's cut some guys out all together."
|During sex, Santa suddenly stops and remains motionless.|
He then starts again and after some time stops to remain motionless once again.
This goes on for quite some time.
His wife: What the hell are you doing???
Santa: I have seen this new technique on an internet porn site... It's called 'Buffering'