• Buffering....

    During sex, Santa suddenly stops and remains motionless.

    He then starts again and after some time stops to remain motionless once again.

    This goes on for quite some time.

    His wife: What the hell are you doing???

    Santa: I have seen this new technique on an internet porn site... It's called 'Buffering'
  • Breast Fetishism!

    Santa had an obsession with women's breasts. So he went to a psychologist and told the doctor about his problem.

    "I am going to do word association," explained the doctor. "I am going to say a word, and you will say the first thing that come to your mind."

    "OK Doctor," replied Santa.

    Doctor, "Oranges".

    "Breasts," replied Santa.

    "Apples"

    "Breasts"

    "Watermelons"

    "Breasts"

    "Wipers"

    "Breasts," said Santa.

    "Wait a minute! I can see the connections between oranges, apples, watermelons and breasts. But automobile's wipers? Where is the connection?" asked the doctor.

    "Easy, one on the left and one on the right!"
  • Never Argue with a Woman, Use Uour Brains

    Banta went on a night out with his friends and Preeto is furious and tells the kids that when he comes back they must not open the door for him.

    At about 12 midnight, Banta comes back and knocks.

    Preeto yells to him, "Go back and sleep where you are coming from!!!"

    Judging by her tone of voice that her fury is about to overflow, Banta answered, "Relax I'm not here to sleep, I'm here to collect condoms in my room on top of the table or just give them to me. There're lots of women at the party!"

    Preeto opened the door and screamed, "You are not going anywhere come in here before I change my mind!"
  • We're Lesbians

    Santa is sitting in a bar and notices two lovely women across the way.

    He calls the bartender over and says, "I'd like to buy those two beautiful ladies a drink."

    The bartender replies, "It won't do you any good."

    Santa, with a confused look on his face says, "I don't care what you think, I want to buy those ladies a drink."

    The bartender delivers drinks to the ladies and the women acknowledge their drinks with a nod of their heads.

    Twenty minutes later, Santa approaches the ladies and says, "I'd like to buy you two another drink."

    One of the ladies said, "It won't do you any good."

    Santa says, "I don't understand. What do you mean it won't do me any good?"

    The first lady says, "We're lesbians."

    Santa asks, "Lesbians? What are lesbians?"

    The second woman replies, "Lesbians... We like to lick pussies."

    Santa says, "Bartender, three beers for us lesbians."