• She's a Lesbian

    Santa and Banta are sitting in a bar sipping Johnny Walker Black Label when Banta noticed a gorgeous blonde sitting by herself in a corner.

    As he was getting up to talk to her the bartender said, "Hey don't worry about her, she is a lesbian!"

    Banta, "Lesbian or no lesbian, I get all of them," and he stylishly holding his whiskey in his left hand walked to her table.

    Then leaping forward in a very sexy voice he said, "Where exactly in Lesbia, you from?"
  • Treating Headache!

    Santa was suffering from a terrible headache, so he went to see his doctor, a young, recent medical graduate.

    The young doctor listened to him carefully and told him, "Go home, Lie down on your tummy, Open your arse wide, and ask your wife to pour some gin up your arse-hole."

    "What???" said Santa.

    The headache was really killing him, so Santa went home and, very skeptically, tried out what the doctor told him. And guess what, the headache vanished!

    So Santa goes running back to the doc, and says, "Doctor, doctor, where did you learn this amazing cure?"

    And the doctor replies modestly, "Oh that's nothing. They taught us this on our very first day in medical school"

    "Really?" says Santa, "This is what they taught you in medical school?"

    "Yes, of course. They said for a headache you should always prescribe Anal-gin.
  • Use Your Brains!

    Santa went on a night out with his friends. The wife is furious and tells the kids that when he comes back they must not open the door for him.

    At about midnight, Santa comes back and knocks.

    Jeeto tells him, "Go back and sleep where you are coming from."

    And Santa answered, "I'm not here to sleep, I'm here to collect condoms in my room on top of the table or give it to me through the window, there are lots of women at the party!"

    Jeeto opened the door and said, "Idiot, you're not going anywhere. Get into the house!"
  • Bragging Men!

    In a Bar an American, an Italian, a Turki and an Indian (Santa) met.

    American: "I'm Proud of our CIA, they know whatever is happening in the world, often before it happens."

    Italian: "I'm proud pf our women, they're the most beautiful and not easy to be had."

    Turki: "I'm proud of our carpets, true works of art. No one can make carpets of such high quality."

    Then they all looked at the silent Santa, waiting for his response.

    They asked: "What are you proud of?"

    Santa: "I'm proud of myself!"

    They all asked: "Why?"

    Santa: "Yesterday I screwed an Italian woman on a Turkish carpet and the CIA knew nothing about it."
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