|The blind date, Banta, hadn't been all that great and she was relieved the evening was finally over.|
At her apartment door, Banta suddenly said, "Hey! You wanna see my underwear?"
Before she could respond, he had dropped his pants, right there in the hall, revealing that he wasn't wearing any underwear.
She glanced down and said, "Nice design - does it also come in men's sizes?"
|Jeeto went to her psychiatrist because she was having severe problems with her sex life. The psychiatrist asked her many questions, but did not seem to be getting a clear picture of her problems.|
Finally he asked, “Do you ever watch Santa’s face while you’re having sex?”
“Well, yes, I did once.”
“Well, how did he look?”
At this point the psychiatrist felt that he was really getting somewhere and he said, “Well Jeeto, that’s very interesting, we must look into this further. Now tell me, you say that you have only seen your husband’s face once during sex; that seems somewhat unusual; how did it occur that you saw his face that time?”
“He was looking through the window at us.”
|Banta was shipwrecked on a remote island. There was nothing for him to do except play with himself. After many years even that stopped.|
He was always preparing for the day when he would be saved. One morning he saw a ship turn into the cove and he quickly ran to the woodpile and started it afire. He then threw wet seaweed on top and the smoke was bellowing high in the air. All of a sudden the ship starts to come his way.
He gets all excited and thinks I am finally going to be saved. The first thing I want is to take a hot shower - then they are going to give me some clothes and I am going to go upstairs and have a nice dinner. I will find a nice lady to dance with then I will take to her cabin and we can kiss and I can fondle her body. She will start to take off her clothes and she will be wearing pink satin panties, and I will rub them and...
With this, Banta starts to get an erection; he slips his hand into his shorts, grabs his pecker and yells, "Ha, Ha, Ha - I lied about the ship, I lied about the ship."
|Santa goes along to the Patent Office with some of his new designs.|
He says to the clerk, "I'd like to register my new invention. It's a folding bottle."
"OK," says the clerk. "What do you call it?"
"A fottle", replies Santa.
"A fottle? That's stupid! Can't you think of something else?"
"I can think about it. I've got something else though. It's a folding carton."
"And what do you call that?" asks the clerk.
"A farton", replies Santa.
"That's rude. You can't possibly call it that!"
"In that case," says Santa...
"You're really going to hate the name of my folding bucket."