|Banta was shipwrecked on a remote island. There was nothing for him to do except play with himself. After many years even that stopped.|
He was always preparing for the day when he would be saved. One morning he saw a ship turn into the cove and he quickly ran to the woodpile and started it afire. He then threw wet seaweed on top and the smoke was bellowing high in the air. All of a sudden the ship starts to come his way.
He gets all excited and thinks I am finally going to be saved. The first thing I want is to take a hot shower - then they are going to give me some clothes and I am going to go upstairs and have a nice dinner. I will find a nice lady to dance with then I will take to her cabin and we can kiss and I can fondle her body. She will start to take off her clothes and she will be wearing pink satin panties, and I will rub them and...
With this, Banta starts to get an erection; he slips his hand into his shorts, grabs his pecker and yells, "Ha, Ha, Ha - I lied about the ship, I lied about the ship."
|Santa goes along to the Patent Office with some of his new designs.|
He says to the clerk, "I'd like to register my new invention. It's a folding bottle."
"OK," says the clerk. "What do you call it?"
"A fottle", replies Santa.
"A fottle? That's stupid! Can't you think of something else?"
"I can think about it. I've got something else though. It's a folding carton."
"And what do you call that?" asks the clerk.
"A farton", replies Santa.
"That's rude. You can't possibly call it that!"
"In that case," says Santa...
"You're really going to hate the name of my folding bucket."
|Banta, who has been married for ten years, suddenly finds himself having to go to the market to shop as his wife, Preeto, is ill. Well this is the first time he's been there in all that time and is unprepared for the prices being charged for many items.|
Banta is quite fond of nuts but can't find any, so he seeks out the manager. He sees a man with a HUGE nose helping out a lady shopper (who is laughing uncontrollably ) and asks him, "Do you have any peanuts?"
The manager replies, "Yes sir they're Rs 120 per Kg."
"Oh,"says Banta, "How about cashews?"
"Yes, they're 450 per Kg"
"I see. How about walnuts?"
"Oh sure, They're 300 per Kg"
"Well they're all too expensive for me, but thanks anyway," says Banta.
The manager replies, "No problem and I'd like to thank you for not laughing at me. You may have noticed that I have a rather large nose and people seem to make fun of that all the time."
"Oh," Banta says, "That's your nose? I thought it was your dick, your nuts are so high!"
|Santa, owner of a big furniture store went to Mumbai to buy some stock and met a really beautiful girl in the hotel elevator. But she was South Indian and they couldn't understand a word of each other's language.|
So Santa took out a pencil and notebook and drew a sketch of a taxi.
She nodded her head and laughed and they went for a ride in the park.
Then Santa drew a picture of a table in a restaurant with a question mark and she nodded, so they went to dinner.
After dinner, he sketched two dancers and she was delighted. They went to a night club and danced and had a lovely evening. At length, she motioned for the pencil and drew a picture of a four-poster bed.
Santa was dumbfounded. He's never been able to figure out how she knew he was in the furniture business.