|Banta, who has been married for ten years, suddenly finds himself having to go to the market to shop as his wife, Preeto, is ill. Well this is the first time he's been there in all that time and is unprepared for the prices being charged for many items.|
Banta is quite fond of nuts but can't find any, so he seeks out the manager. He sees a man with a HUGE nose helping out a lady shopper (who is laughing uncontrollably ) and asks him, "Do you have any peanuts?"
The manager replies, "Yes sir they're Rs 120 per Kg."
"Oh,"says Banta, "How about cashews?"
"Yes, they're 450 per Kg"
"I see. How about walnuts?"
"Oh sure, They're 300 per Kg"
"Well they're all too expensive for me, but thanks anyway," says Banta.
The manager replies, "No problem and I'd like to thank you for not laughing at me. You may have noticed that I have a rather large nose and people seem to make fun of that all the time."
"Oh," Banta says, "That's your nose? I thought it was your dick, your nuts are so high!"
|Santa, owner of a big furniture store went to Mumbai to buy some stock and met a really beautiful girl in the hotel elevator. But she was South Indian and they couldn't understand a word of each other's language.|
So Santa took out a pencil and notebook and drew a sketch of a taxi.
She nodded her head and laughed and they went for a ride in the park.
Then Santa drew a picture of a table in a restaurant with a question mark and she nodded, so they went to dinner.
After dinner, he sketched two dancers and she was delighted. They went to a night club and danced and had a lovely evening. At length, she motioned for the pencil and drew a picture of a four-poster bed.
Santa was dumbfounded. He's never been able to figure out how she knew he was in the furniture business.
|Jeeto was in bed with Banta and things were heating up. All of a sudden, they heard a noise downstairs.|
"Oh my God, Santa is home. What am I going to do?"
"Aw, just stay in bed with me. He's probably so drunk, he ain't gonna notice you here with me."
The fear of getting caught trying to escape was more powerful than the thought of getting caught in bed with Jeeto, so Banta trusted her advice.
Sure enough, Santa came crawling into bed and as he pulled the covers over him, he pulled the blankets, exposing six feet.
"Jeeto!" he yelled, "What the heck is going on? I see six feet at the end of the bed."
"Dear, you're so drunk, you can't count. If you don't believe me, count them again."
Santa then got out of bed, and re-counted, "One, two, three, four... by gosh, you're right, dear!" as he stumbled back into bed.
|Santa went into a restaurant and ordered his meal.|
When the waitress came out with his soup, he noticed that she had her thumb stuck into the soup. This upset him, but he was a gentleman and let it go.
She then brought out his chili, and again her thumb was in the food. He let it go again.
When she brought out his hot dessert, her thumb was in the food and this was too much for him.
Santa said, "Goddammit, woman, get your damn thumb out of my food!"
She replied,"Well, I injured it a while ago and the Doctor said I should keep it warm."
Santa said angrily,"Why don't you just shove it up your ass!"
She said, "That's what I do when I'm in the kitchen."