• Crazy Old Man Gets Erection

    A furious pounding in a hotel room in the middle of the night awakened a number of guests.

    The hotel manager went to the room, and when his knocks went unanswered, he let himself in. He found an elderly man cursing and banging on the wall with both fists.

    "Stop that immediately, sir!" the manager ordered. "You're disturbing everyone in the hotel."

    "Damn the hotel and everyone in it!" the elderly man hollered. "I just got an erection!"

    "Okay," said the hotel manager, "but why must you bang your fists against the wall?"

    "Because it's the first erection I've had in years and both of my hands are asleep!"
  • A Delicate Corporate Matter

    All of the 10 Senior Members of the Board of Directors of the Company were called into the Chairman's office one by one... until only Raghu, the junior-most Member, was left sitting outside.

    Finally it was his turn to be summoned...

    He entered the Office to find the Chairman and the ten other Directors seated around the Board Table.

    He was invited to join them, which he did.

    As soon as he had sat down, the Chairman turned to Raghu, looked at him squarely in the eye and in a stern voice, asked...

    "Raghu, have you ever slept with Mrs. Julie, my Secretary ?"

    "Oh, no sir, positively not," Raghu replied.

    "Are you absolutely sure ?" asked the Chairman.

    "Honest, I've never been close enough to even touch her!"

    "You'd swear to that ? "

    "Yes, I swear I've never slept with Mrs. Julie anytime, anywhere."

    "Good, then YOU FIRE HER from the job, We Can't."
  • Cream of Weight

    A guy walks into a bar and orders three whiskey sours, drinks them down BAM! BAM! BAM! Then he orders three more. The bartender's having a slow night and appreciates the business, but is also concerned.

    "Hey buddy, slow down. What seems to be the problem?"

    The guy answers, "I went on a week-long business trip, and had to leave my wife alone. I've had my suspicions about our next-door neighbor, so I hung a weight from the bottom of the bed-spring just above a bowl of cream."

    The bartender nods sympathetically and pours the guy another, "So you came home and found cream on the weight?"

    The guy downs his fourth whiskey sour and says, "It's worse than that. The cream had been churned into butter."
  • I Love Being In Bed

    The Blondes at a certain Californian university were tired of not fitting in. They were tired of other students assuming they were just stupid bimbos. They wanted somewhere where they felt they belonged.

    So they pressured the administration to set up a new Department especially for them. The university agreed, and set up the Blonde Education Department.

    The Blondes were ecstatic to have a department of their own where they could gather without being ridiculed. They felt they really belonged now.

    They wanted other students to see that they weren't just stupid bimbos - after all, they now had their own department at the university.

    So they now all proudly wear the official sweatshirt of the Blonde Education Department which sports the saying:

    "I LOVE Being in B.E.D."