|A man and wife were playing in their club's annual "Guys and Dolls" tournament. The man was not happy about having to play, but his wife insisted.|
On the 12th tee, his patience had reached its limit. While his wife wasted time on the ladies tee, he decided to go ahead and hit his drive from the men's. Unfortunately, he misjudged his shot and his ball hit his wife in the back of the head, killing her instantly.
At the hospital the doctor came to talk to the husband, "Mr. Davies, we found a golf ball lodged three inches into your wife's brain, which was the cause of death. But, we have found something else that really puzzles us."
"What is it?" asked Mr. Davies.
"Well," said the doctor, "We also found a golf ball lodged six inches into her anal cavity."
The husband dismissed the doctor with a wave of his hand "Oh, that was my second tee shot!"
|A man gets his fiance, Wendy's name tattooed on his penis.|
So when he's hard it says "Wendy," but when it's soft it just says, "W Y."
So they get married and went to Jamaica on their honeymoon.
They're dancing in the club and drinking and having a good time when inevitably the man has to go to the bathroom.
He's standing at the urinal and notices a big tall Jamaican guy next to him has"W Y" tattooed on his penis.
The man asked, "Excuse me, but I noticed you have "W Y" on your penis."
The Jamaican replied, "Ya man, I see you have it too, what does yours say when it's hard?"
The man says proudly, "When mine's hard, it says "Wendy, what does yours say?"
The Jamaican says, "Ah great man, when mine is hard it says "Welcome to the Island of Jamaica, have a nice day!"
|Even if you are pleased with your equipment, it is important to keep it hidden. Otherwise, you can get hurt in more ways than one. Read ahead to find out how?
An official from Tata Motors walked into his office one morning, not knowing that his zip was down. His beautiful secretary walked up to him and said, `Boss, this morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?`
The boss did not understand what she meant. So he went into his office looking a bit puzzled.
When he was done with his paperwork, he suddenly noticed that his zipper was not zipped up. He zipped it up and remembered what his secretary had asked him.
Now that he finally understood what she meant, he went out to her desk and said, `When you saw the open garage door, did you also see my jaguar parked in there?`
The secretary smiled for a moment and said, `No, boss, I didn't. All I saw was a Tata Nano with 2 flat tyres.`
|The wife appeared before the judge and said, "I want a divorce from that jerk over there."|
The judge said, "Why do you want the divorce?"
"Because he's a terrible lover."
The judge asked, "How long have you been married?"
"Fourteen years," she replied.
"I don't understand. Why did you wait fourteen years to divorce your husband for being a terrible lover?"
She said, "Because, your Honor, until this insurance salesman stopped by my house last week, I didn't know the difference."