• Oh No, You're Not!!!

    "First," said the playboy, "I'm going to buy you a few drinks and get you a bit loose."

    "Oh no, you're not," said the girl.

    "Then I'll take you to dinner and ply you with a few more drinks."

    "Oh no, you're not."

    "Then I'll take you to my place and keep serving you drinks."

    "Oh no, you're not."

    "Then I'm going to make violent, passionate love to you."

    "Oh no, you're not."

    "And I'm not going to wear a condom either!" said the guy. "Oh yes you are!" said the girl.
  • Something Different!

    A salesman, who getting ready for his next trip, asks his wife to include a condom in his suitcase. His wife instantly asks, "Why???"

    He replies, "Just a reminder of the bad things out there, in case I want to try something different."

    She grabs a bar of soap, drops it into one of his socks, swings it in the air, and WHAM !!!! swings it up between his balls..... After much pain, and gathering his composure, asks.... "Why the hell did you do that?"

    She replies, "Just a reminder of the bad things out there, in case you want to try something different."
  • Mad Dog!!!

    A young man in a public swimming pool was startled when his swimsuit fell off. He was in the deep end, and couldn't find it, no matter how desperately he looked. Perplexed, he went to the shallow end and tried to figure out what to do. As he stood there up to his chest in water and watched the young ladies in their bikinis, he was additionally stressed to realize that he now sported a raging hard-on.

    Finally, he struck up a course of action. He jumped violently out of the water and shouted loudly, "Mad dog! Mad dog!"

    Although most of the others in the pool began screaming in fear, a lusty redhead took a more direct course of action.

    She tore off her bikini bottoms, flattened him on the ground and straddled him yelling, "Quick! Let me muzzle that son of a bitch before it gets away!"
  • Night Stay!!!

    There was a group of army men marching down a road at night looking for a place to stay. They came upon a farm house and knocked on the door. A old farmer answered, the Sargent asked if they could spend the night. The man said yes but he only had room for one man.

    The Sergeant yelled out to Private Peters, "You spend the night here and we will go down the road and find the rest of us a place to stay."

    They went on down the road and came upon a whorehouse where they proceeded to knock on the door.

    A women leaned out the window and asked, "What do you want?"

    The Sergeant replied, "We need a place to stay."

    The women asked, "How many are there of you?"

    The Sergeant said, "39 without Peters."

    The women then said, "Well, grease your fingers and come on in boys....."