|A farmer separated the bulls and cows to prepare them for the mating season a few day later.|
He built a wall with barbed wires on top. One bull was already very horny.
Other bulls told him there is one consultant that may help.
The bull went to him and asked how to cross the wall to the cows.
The consultant said: First of all... stand 60 feet away from the wall. Then run at 60mph. Then jump at a 60 degree angle. Do what you want then come back the same way."
The bull asked: But what if I mess up with the calculations and lost my genitals with the barbed wires?
The consultant said: Then... you'd become a consultant.
|Pappu: Papa, Aap Ko School Mein Teacher Ne Bulaya Hai.|
Santa: Kyun, Kya Hua?
Pappu: Maths Teacher Ne Poocha 7*9 Kitna Hota Hai. Maine Bola 63. Phir Teacher Ne Poocha 9*7 Kitna Hota Hai?
Santa: Ek Hi To Baat Hui Benchod. Chutiya Samjha Hai Kya?
Pappu: Exactly...Maine Bhi Yahi Bola.
Pappu: Papa, Aap Teacher Se Mile Kya?
Pappu: Teacher Se Mat Milna. Ab Aapko Principal Se Milne Ke Liya Bulaya Hai.
Santa: Kyun, Kya Hua?
Pappu: PT Teacher Ne Aaj Class Me Bola Right Hand Upar Karo, Phir Left Hand Upar Karo, Ab Right Leg Upar Karo, Phir Left Leg Upar Karo...
Santa: To Khada Kya Lund Pe Hoga!
Pappu: Exactly, Maine Bhi Yahi Bola.
Pappu: Papa, Aap Principal Se Mile The Kya Aaj?
Pappu: Ab Mat Jana Milne Kisi Se Bhi... Mujhe School Se Ek Hafte K Liye Suspend Kar Diya Hai.
Santa: Ab Kya Ho Gaya?
Pappu: Mujhe Principal Ke Office Me Bulaya Tha. Wahan Maths Teacher, PT Teacher Aur Arts Teacher The.
Santa: Ab Arts Teacher Kya Wahaan Apni Maa Chudaane Aaya Tha?
Pappu: Exactly... Maine Bhi Yahi Bola....!!!
|Santa visited a 5-Star hotel in Paris.|
As he sat there at the bar, enjoying his Black Label, a devastatingly hot French girl in a red dress came to him and said something in French, which he wasn't able to understand.
Unable to get over her heavenly body mixed with the heady aroma of her alluring French perfume, Santa invited her to sit down next to him, took a napkin and drew a picture of a champagne glass.
She nodded and he ordered a glass of champagne for her.
After a while, he took another napkin, drew a picture of a plate with food on it and she nodded.
They ordered dinner, after which, he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing.
She nodded and they got up to dance.
When they were back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a Screw.
Till date, he is scratching his bloody head to figure out, how on Earth did she know about his hardware store in Punjab.
|Two Italian friends are talking to each other one evening.|
Roberto says, "Tell me Geno, in all honesty, what do you think of a woman with a growth of black hair under her nose?"
Geno replies, "Hell no, I would never be turned on by a woman like that."
Roberto says, "OK, so tell me, what about a woman with big black hairs growing under her arms?"
Geno says, "For Pete's sake what are you talking about? I couldn't even have anything to do with a woman like that."
Roberto says, "OK but let me ask you another question. What about a woman with long black hairs growing on her legs, never shaves her legs?"
Geno replies, "Come on man give me a break, I would never get into bed with a woman like that."
Roberto says, "OK so answer me one last question, if all you say is true, why the hell are you screwing my wife?!!!"