|"Father, yesterday I made love to my wife."|
The priest explained that there was nothing wrong with that.
"But father, I did it with lust!"
Again the priest reassured the man that it was no sin.
"But father, it was in the middle of the day!"
The priest was growing uncomfortable with the description but assured him that it was a natural act for a man and wife.
"But father, it was sheer passion. I followed her around the fridge and as she leaned over the deep freeze I jumped on her and we did it on the floor. Am I banned from the church?"
"Of course not," said the exasperated priest.
"Oh that's good. The manager has banned both of us from the supermarket."
|Jill and Little Johnny were riding down the road and Little Johnny swerved slightly to go past a pretty blonde jogging.|
Jill said, "Did you see her?"
"Well, yeah." said Little Johnny.
"That really gets me. I've never understood that about women. She was wearing a necklace, two bracelets, hoop earrings, her nails were freshly polished with Salerno Mavala nail polish, she'd recently spritzed Chanel behind her ears, and she was wearing Yves Saint Laurent lip gloss!" Jill said.
"You noticed all that?" asked Little Johnny.
"Yes I did. You didn't?" replied Jill.
Little Johnny said, "Not exactly. All I noticed was that she had legs all the way up to her very well rounded cute little butt, a spectacular set of nicely bouncing tits and no wedding ring."
Then Little Johnny had to swerve again to avoid being slapped by an even more upset Jill.
|Little Johnny's father had a brown cow and a white cow and he wanted to get them bred, so he borrowed his neighbor's bull and turned it loose in the pasture. He told Johnny to watch and come in and tell him when the bull was finished.|
"Yeah daddy," said little Johnny.
After a while little Johnny came into the living room where his father was talking with some friends.
"Say, Pop," said little Johnny. "Yes," replied his father. "The bull just fucked the brown cow."
There was a sudden lull in the conversation. The father said "Excuse me" and took little Johnny outside.
"Son, you mustn't use language like that in front of company. You should say 'The bull surprised the brown cow'. Now go and watch and tell me when the bull surprises the white cow."
The father went back inside the house.
After a while little Johnny came in and said, "Hey, Dad." "Yes, son. Did the bull surprise the white cow?"
"He sure did, Pop! He fucked the brown cow again!"
|This woman is driving into a small town and slams on the brakes as a coyote runs across the road in front of her. Just as she regains her wits and gets ready to proceed, a cowboy runs right in front of her and catches the coyote by the hind legs and starts screwing it.|
"Oh my God!" she exclaims and drives into town to find the local law.
She sees the local sheriff's car parked in front of the town bar. "It figures," she says as she storms inside.
The first thing she notices is an old, old man with a long white beard sitting in the corner jacking-off. She runs up to the sheriff who's sitting at the bar with his drink.
"What kind of sick town are you running here? I drive into town and almost run over some cowboy sodomizing an animal.... and then ...I come in here ...and see this old man in the corner jacking-off right in public!"
"Well, ma'am," the sheriff slowly replies, "you don't expect him to catch a coyote at his age, do ya?"