• Massage Pinis

    A man during his vacation to Thailand, ordered a massage session in his room. One for his wife and one for him.

    After massaging the man for a long time, the Thai girl said, "Massage pinis."

    He kept quiet.

    The Thai masseur again said, "Massage pinis."

    There was again silence....

    Finally his wife spoke, "Don't have high hopes, she's saying 'massage finish'"
  • Screwing A Cop!

    This guy and his girlfriend were going at it hot and heavy in the backseat of his car.

    A knock was heard on the window and there stood a cop. The guy got out, shaking like a leaf.

    The cop said that he wouldn't arrest him if he could be next.

    The guy got back in the car and finished with his girlfriend. When he got out again, he was still shaking like a leaf.

    The cop said there was no reason to be scared, because he wouldn't arrest him if he could be next.

    The guy said, 'I'm not afraid that you'll arrest me, it's just that I've never screwed a cop before!"
  • Cock-eyed Blonde

    A young woman visited her eye doctor complaining of failing eyesight. The doctor sat her in front of a standard eye chart.

    Doctor, "Can you read the bottom line?"

    Girl, "No."

    "Can you read the center line?"


    "Can you read the large top line?"

    "No. "

    "Can you even see the chart?"


    The doctor is clearly frustrated and whips his penis out of his pants. "Can you see this?"

    "Of course!"

    "Well, there's your problem - you're cock-eyed!"
  • Divine Right

    Several years ago, the Catholic Church required women to wear a head covering in order to enter the sanctuary. One Sunday a lady arrived without her head covering. The priest informs her she cannot enter without it.

    A few moments later, the lady reappears, wearing her blouse tied to her head.

    The shocked priest says, "Madam, I cannot allow you to enter this holy place without your wearing a blouse."

    "But Father, I have a divine right," she informs.

    "Yes, I see. And your left one isn't bad either, but you still must wear a blouse to enter this church."