|There is a fish in a lake watching a fly 3 inches above the water. The fish thinks if that fly goes down three inches I'll get it.|
Meanwhile on the bank a bear is watching the fish and the fly and thinks, if that fly goes down three inches the fish will jump for the fly and I'll get the fish.
While behind the bear on a hill a hunter is watching everything and thinks that if that fly goes down three inches, the fish will jump for the fly, and the bear will go for the fish, and I'll shoot the bear.
Behind the hunter though, is a mouse. The mouse thinks that if the fly goes down three inches the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will get the bear, and I'll get the hunter's cheese.
Now stalking the mouse is a cat, the cat thinks that if the fly goes down three inches the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will get the bear, the mouse will get the hunter's cheese and I'll get the mouse...
So the fly goes down three inches and the fish gets the fly, the bear gets the fish, the hunter gets the bear, the mouse gets the cheese, but the cat misses the mouse and falls into the water and drowns.
The moral of the story is for every fly that goes down three inches there is a wet pussy.
|Two die-hard golfers, Mike & Steve, are out playing a round when a thunderstorm comes roaring in. On the third tee, a bolt of lighting comes down and strikes both golfers dead.|
Arriving at those pearly gates, God comes down to talk to the two men. "Sorry, but we made a mistake" says God, "it seems that it was not your time to die. Now, I can send you back, but you have to go back as someone different. It's just too confusing since they already had the funerals. In fact your wives are already dating."
After the two golfers have a little talk they approach God and make their request. "We decided we want to go back as a couple of lesbians," says Mike.
"... good looking lesbians if you please" says Steve.
"That's no problem," replies God "but I must know why you guys want to be lesbians"
"Well we figure if we go back as lesbians we still get to have sex with woman..." says Mike.
"...plus," adds Steve "we get to play from the ladies tee."
|1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play.|
2. Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole.
3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out.
4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.
5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole.
6. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the course owner is satisfied that play is completed. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the course again.
7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. The experienced player will normally take time to admire the entire course with special attention to well formed bunkers.
8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played, or are currently playing, to the owner of the course being played. Upset course owners have been known to damage players equipment for this reason.
9. Players are encouraged to bring proper rain gear for their own protection.
10. Players should ensure themselves that their match has been properly scheduled, particularly when a new course is being played for the first time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else playing on what they considered to be a private course.
11. Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at tall times. Some players may be embarrassed if they find the course to be temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternative means of play when this is the case.
12. The course owners is responsible for manicuring and pruning any bush around the hole to allow for improved viewing of alignment with, and approach to the hole.13. Players are advised to obtain the course owners permission before attempting to play the back nine.
14. Slow play is encouraged. However, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the course owners request.
15. It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match.
|Baadshah Akbar Ke Paar Ek 12 Inch Ka Chhota Sa, Pyara Sa Ghoda Tha.|
Birbal: Jahanpanah... Apko Yeh Ghoda Kahan Se Mila?
Akbar: Ek Baba Ne Diya Tha. Unse Jo Bhi Maango Woh De Dete Hain.
Birbal: Jahanpanah, Main Bhi Baba Ke Paas Jaaunga, Mujhe Bataiye Ki Vo Kahan Milenge?
Akbar Ne Us Baba Ka Thikana Birbal Ko Bataya Aur Bole: Jao Birba.. Par Khayal Rahe Ki Baba Ek Hi Muraad Poori Karte Hain Aur Thoda Ooncha Sunte Hain.
Birbal Baba Ke Paas Se Jab Laut Kar Aaye Toh Akbar Ko Bataya: Jahanpanah.... Maine Baba Se Ek Bori Heere Maange The Aur Baba Ne Mujhe Ek Bori Kheere De Diye.
Akbar: Toh Tumne Kya Socha Tha Ki Main Baba Se 12 Inch Ka 'Ghoda' Maanga Tha.