• Burning Rubber!!!

    One day this old man was about to have sex with an eighteen-year-old girl, who he did not know. The old man began to put on his condom when the young girl asked him why is he putting one on.

    She said, "You don't have to worry about getting me pregnant because you are too old and you don't have to worry about catching anything because you are going to die pretty soon anyway."
    The old man continued to put on his condom he then looked up at the girl and said, "Young girl the reason I am putting on this condom isn't because I am afraid of getting you pregnant or catching anything. I just like the scent of burning rubber."
  • 10 Reasons Why Sex is Better than School

    1. Everybody likes sex and nobody likes school, except for virgins and only because they haven't had sex yet.

    2. Sex sucks, moans, licks, pumps, throbs etc..., school just sucks.

    3. After sex you feel like smoking a cigarette. After school you feel like smoking something a whole lot stronger.

    4. You get disciplined during sex only if you want to.

    5. Drinking drives people to sex, whereas school drives people to drink.

    6. Sex relieves stress, school is the cause of stress.

    7. Nothing beats the "hands on" experience you get with sex.

    8. After sex you feel like you have accomplished something.

    9. Sex is cheaper. Even if you have to pay for a hooker, it is still cheaper than paying thousands of dollars in tuition.

    10. At least you have a choice whether or not you want to have sex. At school your teachers screw you regardless.
  • Oh No, You're Not!!!

    "First," said the playboy, "I'm going to buy you a few drinks and get you a bit loose."

    "Oh no, you're not," said the girl.

    "Then I'll take you to dinner and ply you with a few more drinks."

    "Oh no, you're not."

    "Then I'll take you to my place and keep serving you drinks."

    "Oh no, you're not."

    "Then I'm going to make violent, passionate love to you."

    "Oh no, you're not."

    "And I'm not going to wear a condom either!" said the guy. "Oh yes you are!" said the girl.
  • Something Different!

    A salesman, who getting ready for his next trip, asks his wife to include a condom in his suitcase. His wife instantly asks, "Why???"

    He replies, "Just a reminder of the bad things out there, in case I want to try something different."

    She grabs a bar of soap, drops it into one of his socks, swings it in the air, and WHAM !!!! swings it up between his balls..... After much pain, and gathering his composure, asks.... "Why the hell did you do that?"

    She replies, "Just a reminder of the bad things out there, in case you want to try something different."