• Girlfriend's Dad!!!

    Girlfriend: Yaar Mere Dad Bhi Na, Kitna Sunate Hain... Jab Dekho Kuch Na Kuch Sunate Hee Rehte Hain...

    Pappu: hmmmmmn...

    Girlfriend: Kya hmmmm..?

    Pappu: Haan, Matlab Ab Kya Karein Papa Hain Na Woh......

    Girlfriend: Papa Hain Toh Matlab Sunayenge Kya Bina Wajah......

    Pappu: Vo To Hai... Par Kya Karein Kapa Kain Tumhaare Woh......

    Girlfriend: Kya Papa, Papa Laga Rakha Hai...... Tum Kabhi Meri Side Lete Hi Nahi..... Tumhe Toh Hamesh Mein Hi Galat Lagti Hun!!!

    Pappu: Phir Kya Karun, Maa Chodu Kya Us Bddhe Ki..... Uski Behen Ka Bhosda...... Madharchod..... Randibaaj Kahin Ka..... Bula Bhosadiwale Ko Uski Toh Maarta Hun Aaj!!!!!

    Girlfriend: Shut Up You Bastard, Kya Bakwaas Kare Ja Rahe Ho??? Papa Hain Woh Mere! Pappu: Toh Bhosdiki Mein Toh Pehle Hi Bol Raha Tha Papa Hain Woh Tumhhare!
  • Aroused Penis

    A medical professor was lecturing about self-examination of the breast and testicles.

    A female student asked a male student, "Do you ever get an erection when you do a self-examination of your testicles?"

    "Sometimes, yes" replied the male student.

    "What do you do about it?" She then asked.

    "Nothing, why?"

    She thought for a while then said, "You mean you go around with a hard penis all day?"

    "Err, no" he replied

    "You mean a man's penis will go down without having an orgasm?"

    "Of course"

    "I'm going to kill my boyfriend!!!"
  • Vasectomy Procedure

    Santa goes into the hospital for a vasectomy.

    Before the procedure, a very attractive nurse comes in and takes his vitals, then tells him to take all of his clothes off.

    When he is fully undressed, she instructs him to lie down on the table. Santa obeys. The nurse Luvleen then takes all of her clothes off and climbs on top and has her way with him.

    Upon the completion of the act, Santa catches his breath and asks what that was all about. The nurse informs the patient that studies have shown that before a vasectomy if the man has an ejaculation, he will be more relaxed and that the cord is easier for the surgeon to locate and sever, thereby making the surgery safer, more efficient and quicker.

    She then wheels the patient, Santa, to the operating room. While they are going down the hall, Santa looks through a window to the right and sees six men in a room masturbating.

    Curious, Santa asks, "What are they doing in there"?

    The nurse responds, "They're preparing for vasectomies too, but whereas you have come through Max HealthCare - they have come through ECHS referrals !"
  • Key To Heaven

    It was time for Father John's Saturday night bath and the young nun, Sister Magdalene, had prepared the bath water and towels just the way the old nun had instructed. Sister Magdalene was also instructed not to look at Father John's nakedness if she could help it, do whatever he told her to do, and pray.

    The next morning the old nun asked Sister Magdalene how the Saturday night bath had gone.

    "Oh, sister," said the young nun dreamily, "I've been saved."

    "Saved? And how did that come about?" asked the old nun.

    "Well, when Father John was soaking in the tub, he asked me to wash him, and while I was washing him he guided my hand down between his legs where he said the Lord keeps the Key to Heaven."

    "Did he now?" said the old nun evenly.

    Sister Magdalene continued, "and Father John said that if the Key to Heaven fitted my lock, the portals of Heaven would be opened to me and I would be assured salvation and eternal peace. And then Father John guided his Key to Heaven into my lock."

    "Is that a fact?" said the old nun even more evenly.

    "At first it hurt terribly, but Father John said the pathway to salvation was often painful and that the glory of God would soon swell my heart with ecstasy. And it did, it felt so good being saved."

    "That wicked old bastard," said the old nun. "He told me it was Gabriel's Horn, and I've been blowing it for 40 years!"