• A Stiff One

    After noticing a beautiful young blonde sitting on her own in a pub, a suave, sophisticated young man confidently strolled over to the table where she was sat and said, "What can I get you, gorgeous?"

    The woman blushed and replied, "If you're sure you don't mind, I'll have a large stiff one, please."

    The man smiled, casually leaned over the table, and whispered into the woman's ear, "Would that be before or after I've got the drinks?"
  • What's Fornication?

    At a family get together, a young boy of about 8 years of age asks his father, "What does fornication mean?"

    The dad is freaked out by the question and demands to know, "Where did you hear a word like that?"

    "From Uncle Charlie," responds the son.

    Dad charges off to confront his brother.

    Charlie doesn't have a clue what the problem is and explains that all he said was, "For-an-occasion like this you think they would serve champagne."
  • The Way I Want

    I met this girl and I told her, "I will give you $20 if you will have sex the way I want it."

    She said, "No, I'm not some cheap whore."

    I said, "I will give you $100 dollars if you have sex the way I want it."

    She said, "I don't know you might be some kind of freak."

    I said baby, "I'll give you $500 dollars if you have sex the way I want."

    She said okay..........

    So we get done having sex and she said, "Chris, so is what is sex the way you want it....???"

    I said............."On credit Baby, On credit!!!"
  • Short but Hilarious

    Friend 1: Kal Meri Girlfriend Ka Birthday Hai, Uske Haath Main Kya Gift Dun?
    Friend 2: Apna De De!!!
    Friend 1: Mazaak Mat Kar Yaar, Koi Badi Cheez Bata.
    Friend 2: Toh Mera De De!!!

    Bas Mein Bethi Ek Ladki Ki T-Shirt Pe Car Bani Hui Thi. Uske Saath Chota Bachha Baitha Use Dekh Raha Tha.
    Ladki Bachche Ko Dekhte Hue Muskura Ke Boli: Car Chalani Hai Kya?
    Bachcha: Nahi Car Toh Nahi Chalani, Par Agar Aap Ki Ijazat Ho Toh Horn Baja Loon?

    Question: Which Is The Only Hindi Measurement Unit That Describes Time, Length, Weight, Heat, Light, Power, Noise Etc. Everything At Minimum Value?
    Answer: Jhaant Barabar!!!

    Question: Who Sang This Song?
    Main Pal Do Pal Ka Shayar Hoon, Pal Do Pal Meri Jawani Hai, Pal Do Pal Meri Masti Hai, Pal Do Pal Kahani Hai.
    Answer: An Erect Penis.

    Tailor Ladki Ka Maap Lete Hue: Tumhaara Koi Boyfriend hai ?
    Girl: Haan Ji Hai, Lekin Kyun ???
    Tailor: Usse Bolna Thode Din Left Side Pe Zyaada Dhyaan De, Fitting Sahi Baithegi.