|Little Johnny's father had a brown cow and a white cow and he wanted to get them bred, so he borrowed his neighbor's bull and turned it loose in the pasture. He told Johnny to watch and come in and tell him when the bull was finished.|
"Yeah daddy," said little Johnny.
After a while little Johnny came into the living room where his father was talking with some friends.
"Say, Pop," said little Johnny. "Yes," replied his father. "The bull just fucked the brown cow."
There was a sudden lull in the conversation. The father said "Excuse me" and took little Johnny outside.
"Son, you mustn't use language like that in front of company. You should say 'The bull surprised the brown cow'. Now go and watch and tell me when the bull surprises the white cow."
The father went back inside the house.
After a while little Johnny came in and said, "Hey, Dad." "Yes, son. Did the bull surprise the white cow?"
"He sure did, Pop! He fucked the brown cow again!"
|This woman is driving into a small town and slams on the brakes as a coyote runs across the road in front of her. Just as she regains her wits and gets ready to proceed, a cowboy runs right in front of her and catches the coyote by the hind legs and starts screwing it.|
"Oh my God!" she exclaims and drives into town to find the local law.
She sees the local sheriff's car parked in front of the town bar. "It figures," she says as she storms inside.
The first thing she notices is an old, old man with a long white beard sitting in the corner jacking-off. She runs up to the sheriff who's sitting at the bar with his drink.
"What kind of sick town are you running here? I drive into town and almost run over some cowboy sodomizing an animal.... and then ...I come in here ...and see this old man in the corner jacking-off right in public!"
"Well, ma'am," the sheriff slowly replies, "you don't expect him to catch a coyote at his age, do ya?"
|After picking her son up from school one day, the mother asks him what he did at school.
The kid replies, "I had sex with my teacher."
She gets so mad that when they get home, she orders him to go straight to his room. When the father returns home that evening, the mother angrily tells him the news of what their son had done.
As the father hears the news, a huge grin spreads across his face. He walks to his son's room and asks him what happened at school, the son tells him, "I had sex with my teacher."
The father tells the boy that he is so proud of him, and he is going to reward him with the bike he has been asking for.
On the way to the store, the dad asks his son if he would like to ride his new bike home. His son responds, "No thanks Dad, my butt still hurts."
|A young couple are having sex in a muddy corn field one evening. The fellow asks, "Honey, could you check to see if it's in you or if it's in the mud???"|
She reaches down and checks. "It's in the mud."
"Well......, could you put it back in???"
She puts it back in and they continue having sex for a while before he asks again, "Honey, could you check to see if it's in you or if it's in the mud???"
She checks again and says, "It's still in me, big fella!!!"
"Ummm..., could you put it back in the mud."