• Artificial Pussy

    A very talented inventor devised an artificial pussy. You could not distinguish it from the real thing.

    Realizing what a money maker he had devised, he approached a sea captain who was embarking on a six month cruise. He made an agreement with the captain to split the profits 50/50 and charge each sailor $2.00 to utilize it.

    Upon the end of the voyage the inventor was standing on the pier awaiting the ship. The ship tied up and the captain came down the gangway.

    The two embraced and the inventor asked, "'How much did we make?"

    The captain reached in his pocket, drew out a dollar bill and handed it to the inventor. The inventor blew his stack.

    He screamed, "What the hell, one dollar, didn't they like it?"

    The captain responded, "Oh yeah, oh yeah, the first guy liked it so much he ate it!!"
  • No Premarital Sex

    Pappu met a girl at the discotheque and after a couple of dances it is obvious that they are really attracted to each other.

    Pappu asks the girl home and she accepts.

    Once at home, nature being nature and the attraction being strong, after some kissing and petting, Pappu makes some forceful advances.

    The girl tells him, "Pappu I really find you physically attractive and even I want to do this, but we must wait."

    Pappu says, "Pooja you do not know how beautiful you are, I have some condoms in my pocket, and I cannot wait anymore."

    Pooja replies, "In our family we are deeply religious and I have to tell you that kissing and petting is all fine, but for me there will be no sex before marriage."

    Pappu breaks away from the embrace, sits up on the bed, pulls out a piece of paper and starts writing on it.

    "What are you writing?" asks Pooja.

    "My phone number," says Pappu.

    "And what pushed you into suddenly writing your number?" asks Pooja.

    "Here," says Pappu, "call me when you are married."
  • You're On Fire

    Colin meets a girl on the street. He says, "Come on, babe, let's go in the alleyway and get it on. I've got fifteen quid."

    She says, "Fifteen pounds? You're crazy. For fifteen quid, I'll let only you look at it."

    They go into the alleyway, she pulls down her pants, and he gets down on his knees. But he can't see anything, because it's too dark, so he gets out his lighter. He lights his lighter, and he says, "Oh my, your pubic hair... it's so curly and thick... it's beautiful."

    She says, "Thank you."

    He says, "You mind if I ask you a personal question?"

    She says, "Go ahead."

    He says, "Can you pee through all that hair?"

    She says, "Of course."

    He says, "Well, you better start. You're on fire."
  • Free Sex?

    A guy and several of his buddies used to frequent a certain restaurant. The food was always good, but the waitress always looked and sounded very sour.

    One evening, one of the friends was feeling rather good, and jokingly asked the waitress when she came to take their orders, "Do you believe in free sex?"

    The waitress huffed up and screamed at him, "I certainly do NOT!"

    "Soooo," asked they guy, "what do you charge?"