|A family was all together recently, just hanging around.|
The sister was browsing through an almanac and laughed at a little piece of trivia she had found in the book, which she then read aloud, "Did you know that a woman's breasts increase in size by 25% during sex?"
Her hubby, a notorious joker, shot back, "So, how come yours don't?"
To which the father, from behind his newspaper and without even a pause, replied, "You're not pumping hard enough!"
|A lawyer went to a remote village and stayed at the local inn for a few days. While he was there, he had an affair with the innkeeper's young daughter.|
A few months later he was back at the inn again, and the young girls was pregnant! When he confronted her, she admitted that the child was his.
"But why didn't you let me know?" said the lawyer, "I would have married you!"
"Well," replied the inkeeper's daughter, "Daddy said that one bastard in the family is quite enough!"
|Little Johnny walked into the kitchen, saw his mother making a cake and announced, "I'll be playing in my room for the next two hours. I sure would like a piece of cake when you're finished."|
Later, when his mother brought him a piece of cooled cake, Little Johnny exclaimed, "Golly, it worked!"
Puzzled, his mother asked, "What do you mean?"
Little Johnny replied, "Daddy said that in order to get a piece around here, you have to be real nice and spend a couple of hours playing first!"
|A new bride went to her doctor for a check up. Lacking knowledge of the male anatomy, she asked the doctor, "What's that thing hanging between my husbands legs?" |
The doctor replies, "We call that the penis."
The new bride then asks, "What's that reddish/purple thing on the end of the penis?"
The doctor replies, "We call that the head of the penis."
The bride then asks, "What are those 2 round things about 15 inches from the head of the penis?"
The doctor replies, "Lady, on him I don't know, but on me they're the cheeks of my ass!"