|Steve Davis, the world champion snooker player, got married and it was the first night of his honeymoon. His beautiful wife lay spread across the bed wearing
only a scanty silken black nightdress.|
Presently Steve came out of the bathroom totally naked with a long stiff erection and walked slowly to the foot of the bed. He didn't utter a sound but simply stood there looking at her and chalking the end of his erect penis.
This went on for over ten minutes, the only movement being the slow rhythmic chalking of the tip of his penis and the movement of his head from side to side as he stared at her lying on the bed.
Eventually, moist with excitement and shaking with anticipation she tore off her night dress and slowly spread her legs wide open waiting for him to take her.
Steve simply raised his eyebrows, cocked his head to the side and continued to slowly stroke the soft chalk across the glistening, throbbing penis as he stared intensely at the pleasures he saw between her outspread legs.
It was too much for her to stand, writhing in an agony of expectation and frustration she screamed out, "For God's sake what are you waiting for?"
Steve gently stroked the chalk across his throbbing penis, blew the loose chalk off its end, smiled and looking even more closely between her smooth thighs quietly told her, "I'm trying to decide whether to go for the tight brown or the easy pink."
|Tommy discovered his wife was cheating with another guy, so he went to the guy's wife and told her about it.|
"I know what we will do", she said, "Let's take revenge on him."
So together they went to a motel and had revenge.
After 10 minutes, she said, "Let's have more revenge," and they took revenge again.
After 5 times, Tommy was lying spent, and she said, "Let's take revenge again."
Tommy said, "Let's forgive them..... I have no more HARD feelings left !!!"
|Gary, a travelling salesman once got caught up in a blizzard and got shelter with a farmer who had three daughters.|
The farmer called him aside and told him, "Young man, I have three daughters, so stay in your room the whole night and no tricks, be warned."
In the morning, Gary, the salesman came down and the farmer asked him, "How was your night, young man?"
"Oh! Slept like a rabbit. Thanks for your hospitality; I will never forget it."
The farmer felt very happy and at the bar that night mentioned this fact to his close friend.
He was boasting what a good father he had been by keeping his daughters away from trouble.
His friend laughed aloud and said, "You fool! A rabbit does not sleep at night. It goes from hole to hole the whole night!"
|How marriage works in India ?|
A newly wed couple had only been married for two weeks. Husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out in town and party and drink with his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I am going out and will be back soon."
"Where are you going honey bunch?" asked wife.
"I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer."
Wife said, "You want a beer, my love?
She went and opened the door of the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer brands from 12 different countries - Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.
Husband didn't know what to do, the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, lolly pop but at the bar you know they have frozen glasses."
He didn't get to finish the sentence, because wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass puppy face?"
She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.
Husband, looking bit pale, said, "Yesss... Tootsie roll, but at the Bar they have those reshmi kababs, that are really delicious... I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise.. Okkk?"
"You want reshmi kababs poochie pooh?"
She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different types of ready to eat kababs, chicken wings, cutlet, mushroom caps, etc.
"But my sweet honey.... at the barrr... you know... there's swearing, dirty words and all that..."
"Teri Maan Ki... you want dirty words, you bastard??? Bhenchod, drink your fucking beer in your damn frozen mug... eat your shitty snacks you Madarchod... and Bhosdi Ke Ab Teri Shaadi Ho Gayi Hai, Isliye Tum Kahin Nahin Jaa Rahe Ho...!!! Samajh Aaya Bhen Ke Laude Ya Dun Pichwaade Mein Ek Laat?"
So he stayed home. And, they lived happily everafter.