|A woman finally got divorced from a rather nasty and egotistical man. She then re-married someone whom she felt would treat her with more love and kindness.|
When her ex-husband happened to meet her on the street one day, he couldn't overcome his usual tendencies, and asked her sarcastically, "So, how does that new husband of yours like screwing a used pussy?"
"He likes it just fine," she replied, "once he gets past the used part."
|A medical professor was lecturing about self-examination of the breast and testicles.|
A female student asked another male student, "Do you ever get an erection when you do a self-examination of your testicles?"
"Sometimes, yes" replied the male student.
"What do you do about it?" She then asked.
She thought for a while then said, "You mean you go around with a hard penis all day?"
"Err... no," he replied.
"You mean a man's penis will go down without having an orgasm?"
"I'm going to kill my husband!"
|A young nun at a convent had one too many sexual indiscretions, and turned up pregnant.|
Scared, she told no one of this, and was thankful that the order she belonged to wore loose, floor-length habits that would keep her secret safe, possibly right up until the birth.
And so it did, and upon the evening when the contractions started, she rushed down into the basement, hoping that no one would hear either her own moaning, or the cries of the newborn child.
After the birth, panic set in; she didn't know WHAT she should do with the baby. If she were found with the child, she would be thrown out of the order, with no place for food or shelter.
Knowing that the Mother Superior was a wise woman, and also having no other options, she placed the baby in a basket, and quietly crept into the sleeping Mother's room in the pre-dawn hours. She left the baby, and silently exited the sleeping chambers.
At sunrise, the Mother Superior awakened, and heard the baby as it was just waking from a nap. She quickly looked over the side of her bed, at the child in the basket, fell back in her bed with a sorrowful look, and dejectedly sighed, "Oh, God! You can't even trust your own finger any more!"
|When Ron first noticed that his penis was growing larger and staying erect longer, he was delighted, as was his wife.|
But after several weeks, his penis had grown sixty centimeters.
Ron became quite concerned. He was having problems dressing, and even walking. So he and his wife went to see a prominent Urologist.
After an initial examination, the doctor explained to the couple that Ron's condition could be fixed through corrective surgery.
"How long will Ron be on crutches?" the wife asked anxiously.
"Crutches? why would he need crutches?" responded the doctor.
"Well," said the wife coldly. "You're going to lengthen his legs, aren't you?"