• Good Manners on a Dinner Date

    During class, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asks the students: Students, If you were on a date, having supper with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom. Michael?

    Michael: Just a minute, I have to go pee.

    Teacher: That would be rude and impolite! What about you Peter? How would you say it?

    Peter: I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom, I'll be right back.

    Teacher: That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you Little Johnny, are you able to use your intelligence for once and show us your good manners?

    Johnny: I would say, 'Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, who I hope you'll get to meet after supper.'

    The teacher fainted!!!
  • The Garden of Eden

    In the Garden of Eden,
    As everyone knows,
    Lives Adam and Eve,
    Without any clothes.

    In this garden,
    Were two little leaves,
    One covered Adam's, and
    One covered Eve's.

    As the story goes on,
    Nevertheless to say,
    The wind came along,
    And blew the leaves away.

    At the sight of Eve bare,
    Adam did stare,
    Between her legs,
    All covered with hair.

    And wonder came,
    Under Eve's eyes,
    As Adam's thing,
    Started to rise.

    They found a spot,
    That suited them best,
    A nice big tree,
    Where they began to rest.

    Her legs spread wider,
    And wider apart,
    While thrill after thrill,
    Came into her heart.

    The head of Adam's thing,
    Peeked into the hole,
    And filled her with passion,
    Beyond her control.

    Backward and forward,
    His thing, he did slide,
    And Eve's treasure,
    Was all wet inside.

    The joy was good,
    She wouldn't let loose,
    Until Adam's thing,
    Was all out of juice.

    Then down through the years,
    People did screw,
    And now it is time,
    For me and you.

    So pull down your pants,
    And lay in the grass,
    Cause I'm in the mood,
    For a piece of that ASS!

    Read THAT to your sweetie, and good luck!
  • Long and Stiff !

    A honeymoon couple had booked a sleeper berth for their trip. However when boarding the train, they found their berths were both upper berths on opposite sides of the compartment.

    During the night, the groom, feeling amorous, whispered across to his bride, "Come across here darling."

    She whispered back, "How can I get across."

    The groom said, "I have something stiff you could crawl across on."

    A voice from the lower berth asked with a chuckle, "How's she going to get back?"
  • Get Her to Say YES

    "First," said the playboy, "I'm going to buy you a few drinks and get you a bit loose."

    "Oh, no you're not," said the girl.

    "Then I'll take you to dinner and ply you with a few more drinks."

    "Oh, no you're not."

    "Then I'll take you to my place and keep serving you drinks."

    "Oh, no you're not."

    "Then I'm going to make violent, passionate love to you."

    "Oh, no you're not."

    "And I'm not going to wear a condom either!" said the guy.

    "Oh, yes you are!" said the girl.