• Hairy Body

    Three boys were sitting on a fence talking. One of the little boys says to the other, "If you could have your body covered in anything, what would it be?"
    After thinking for a while the boy answers, "Silver."

    "Well, why?"

    "I could peel it off and buy that Honda over there."

    The boy then asks the other, "And you?"

    "Gold, I could peel it off and buy the BMW sitting over there."

    After a few seconds one of the boys ask the first boy, "Well, what about you?!?"

    The boy thought and thought and finally, said very calmly, "Hair."

    Well the other two boys were just sickened and asked..."HAIR???? Why in the hell would you want your WHOLE BODY covered in HAIR???"

    "Well", the boy answered, "My sister has got a little tiny patch of hair and she owns both of those cars!!!"
  • A Nun in a Taxi!

    A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why is he staring and he replies, ''I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you.

    She answers, 'My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun a long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.''

    ''Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.''

    She responds, ''Well, let's see what we can do about that: first, you have to be single and second, you must be Catholic.''

    The cab driver is very excited and says, ''Yes, I am single and I'm Catholic too!''

    The nun says ''OK, pull into the next alley.''

    He does and the nun fulfills his fantasy. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying. ''My dear child, said the nun, why are you crying?''

    ''Forgive me sister, but I have sinned. I lied, I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish.''

    The nun says, ''That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm on my way to a Halloween party.''
  • Cheating Wife

    A guy thought his wife was cheating on him. So he waited for her to leave that night and jumped in a cab to follow her. By following her he found out she was working in a 'fun house'.

    The guy says to the cabbie, "Wanna make a $ 100?"

    The cabbie says, "Sure, what do I have to do?"

    The guy replied that all the cabbie has to do was go inside the 'fun house' and grab his wife and put her in the back of the cab and take them home.

    So the cabbie goes in.

    A couple of minutes later the whore house gets kicked open, and the cabbie is dragging this woman out who is kicking, biting, punching, and fighting all the way to the cab.

    The cabbie opens the door to the cab, throws the girl inside, and tells the man, "Here hold her!!"

    The man looks down at the girl and says to the cabbie, "THIS AIN'T MY WIFE".

    The cabbie replied, "I KNOW, IT'S MINE; I'M GOING BACK IN FOR YOURS!!"
  • Dinner Prayer!!!

    A Christian family, comprising mom, dad and daughter were sitting around the dinner table with the reverend of their church as their honored guest.

    The mom told her daughter to start off the prayer so they can start eating dinner already.

    The daughter hesitated, "But Mom!"

    After her mom gave her an encouraging look, she started the prayer.

    She started moaning and groaning, as if she's having an orgasm. She was also screaming, "Oooh, God! Ooooh, Jimmy! Oooh, God! Jimmy! Oh God, oh God!"

    All of a sudden, her mother stopped her.

    "What's gotten into you?"

    She seemed embarrassed and surprised.

    The daughter then said to her mother, "What? That's what I hear when you pray!"
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