• Bad Breath!!!

    One evening Ole and Sven are sitting in the bar getting drunk. Ole turns to Sven and asks, "Ven do you suppose dose girls are gonna make out vit us?"

    Sven says, "Donno, but I'm drunk enuf to go ask em!"

    So off they go to the apartment where Ole knocks on the door. Lena answers and says, "Vell, Ole and Sven, come on in!"

    Ole no more than gets in the door when he says, "Ve yust come to find out ven you girls are gonna make out vit us."

    Lena is really upset by this and throws them both out, slamming the door on them. Ole is persistent and knocks on the door again.

    Lena isn't stupid, she knows it's Ole and says, "Ole if you are gonna be so forward, you'll have to talk through the keyhole."

    So Ole bends to the keyhole and asks, "Ven you girls gonna make out vit us?"

    Lena is really upset now. She drops her pants, backs up to the keyhole, and breaks wind.

    As Ole is backing up and shaking his head, Sven asks, "Vell Ole, vat did she say?"

    Ole says, "Vell, I tink she said FFFFfffffrrriiddaay, but her breath is so bad I'm not askin' again."
  • Screams of Passion!!!

    An American, a Englishman and an Aussie are talking about screams of passion.

    The American said, "Last night I massaged my wife all over her Body with the finest body oil money can buy, then we made passionate love and I made her scream, non stop for five minutes."

    The Englishman said, "Last night I massaged my wife all over her body with very special aphrodisiac oil, and then we made passionate love.. I made her scream for fifteen minutes straight."

    The Aussie said, "That's nothing!!!. Last night I massaged my wife, you know, all over her body with butter. I smeared her entire body with the butter, and then made love and I made her scream for two long hours."

    The American and Englishman, astonished, asked, "Two full hours? ....wow that's phenomenal ! How did you do it to make her scream for two hours?"

    The Aussie replied, "I wiped my buttery hands on the curtains."
  • Best Blow Job

    A groom passed down the aisle of the church to take his place by the altar. The best man noticed that the groom had the biggest, brightest smile on his face.

    The best man asked, "Hey man, I know you are happy to be getting married, but what's up with that smile?"

    The groom replied, "I just had the best blow job I have ever had in my entire life and I am marrying the wonderful woman who gave it to me."

    The bride came walking down the aisle, and she too had the biggest, brightest smile on her face.

    The maid of honor noticed this and asked, "Hey, I know you are happy to be getting married, but what's up with that smile?"

    The bride replied, "I'll never have to give another blow job for the rest of my life!"
  • The First Night

    A young couple married, and celebrated their first night together doing what newlyweds do, time and time again, all night long.

    When they get up in the morning, the groom goes into the bathroom but finds no towel when he gets out of the shower. He asks the bride to please bring one from the bedroom.

    When she gets to the bathroom door, he opens the door, exposing his body for the first time to his bride where she sees all of him well.

    Her eyes went up and down and at about midway, they stopped.

    She asked shyly, "What's that?" pointing to a small part of his anatomy.

    He, also shy, thought for a minute and said, "Well, that's what we had so much fun with last night."

    She, in amazement, asked, "Is that all we have left?"