• Kissing Accident

    An army private went to see the Medical Captain for a new pair of glasses. The Captain looked in his book of record and said, "But you just got a new pair last month!"

    "Yes sir, b.. b.. but I got them b..broken in an accident," stammered the private.

    "Accident, what kind of an accident?" The Captain looked in his book of Accident definitions and glossaries, "Road-march accident, Firing Range accident, PT accident, Drill accident?"

    "No, no nothing of those..." said the private.

    "Well then, what is it?"

    "I'd rather not tell you sir..."

    "Well, no satisfactory explanations, no new glasses," said the medical officer, ready to stand up, "I've to see my patients now."

    "No, no sir wait, I broke them when I was kissing my girl," blurted the private.

    "Don't be daft man, how could you break your glasses kissing a girl?"

    "You see, she crossed her legs trying to keep me locked on....."
  • What is Reunion?

    Reunion is when you get up in the morning and tell your wife you are going to work.

    Instead you go to your neighbour's wife to make love to her.

    Her husband comes and knocks on the door.

    You go under the bed.

    The husband enters the bedroom.

    Feeling uneasy, the wife excuses herself to go to market to buy food items.

    The husband takes advantage of the wife's absence to call your wife.

    Your wife quickly arrives and they make love.

    Suddenly his wife who had excused herself to go to the market turned back halfway forgetting the list of food items at home and knocks on the door.

    You're still under the bed.

    Your wife rushes to hide under the bed.

    This is REUNION...
  • Toilet Scribble

    Returning from the men's room, a bar customer was shaking his head.

    "What's the matter?" inquired the bartender.

    "While I was in the bathroom back there, I noticed among the scribbling on the wall, and one that said: WENDY GIVES REALLY FABULOUS HEAD - ABSOLUTELY THE GREATEST B.J. IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD!" replied the customer.

    "Ah buddy, I wouldn't give it a second thought, we get jerks in here like anywhere else," said the bartender.

    "I know," continue the headshaker. "One of them has scratched out the phone number!"
  • Advantage of Alzheimer's

    At 85 years of age, Rusi married Jeroo, a lovely 25 year old. Since her new husband is so old, Jeroo decides that after their wedding she and Rusi should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may overexert himself if they spend the entire night together.

    After the wedding festivities Jeroo prepares herself for bed and the expected knock" on the door. Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Rusi, her 85 year old groom, ready for action. They unite as one.

    All goes well, Rusi takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep. After a few minutes, Jeroo hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it's Rusi, Again he is ready for more "action". Somewhat surprised, Jeroo consents for more coupling. When the newly weds are done, Rusi kisses his bride, bids her a fond good night and leaves.

    She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha you guessed it - Rusi is back again, rapping on the door, and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for more "action".

    And, once more they enjoy each other.

    But as Rusi gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him, "I Am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once. You are truly a great lover, Rustom."

    Rustom, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Jeroo and says, "You mean I was here already?"

    The moral of the story: Don't be afraid of getting old, Alzheimer's has Its advantages.