|On their 50th wedding anniversary an old couple decide to spice up their sex life with a KamaSutra handbook they picked up at a local News Agency.|
They looked astonishingly at the various positions contained therein. One in particular showed a couple seated opposite one another, naked and with their legs spread apart.
The man was to try to roll marbles between the woman’s legs and she was to try to throw plastic hoop-la-hoops around his private.
The old woman and man smiled at one another, "This is it!" they giggled.
The old man said "Ok.. I'll go get the bowling ball."
The old woman said, "Ok.. I'll take off my wedding ring."
|Banta goes to sexopathologist for consultation.|
You know, doctor, my erection is not as good as it used to be...
Are you married?
How often do you do it with your wife?
I don't let my wife sleep all night long, doctor!
You have a lover?
I have two of them. I meet with each of them at least once a week.
Do you also have some sex at work?
Oh yes, sure, 5-7 times a week.
And some random relations?
Of cause, several times a week.
Then you must restrict yourself! You're having too much sex!
Thanks God, doctor, I thought it's because I masturbate too much.
|Santa, his wife, Jeeto, and their seven-year-old son, Pappu, walk into an ice-cream shop.|
Santa says, "I'll have a chocolate cone, and my wife here will have a vanilla."
He then slaps his son on the back of the head and says: "What do you want, fat-head?"
The lady behind the counter, shocked, says, "Why did you call him that?"
"I'll tell you why," says the dad. "There are really only three things a man wants in life. First, he wants a nice big car. See that nice big car parked outside? That's mine. Second, he wants a nice big house. I have one of the biggest houses in town. Third, and most important, he wants a nice tight pussy and I had that too until fat-head here came along."
|The minister, all fired up because of recent obvious problems of infidelity, shouted out, "I want everyone who has been heing and sheing to stand up!"|
Half of his congregation stood up.
He then shouted out, "I want everyone who has been heing and heing to stand up!"
A couple of men stood up.
He then shouted out, "I want everyone who has been sheing and sheing to stand up!"
Several women stood up.
The minister looked over his congregation and noticed that everyone was standing except Little Johnny.
The minister shouted out, "Brothers and Sisters, look at Little Johnny, can he be the only one without sin? Little Johnny, stand up… I guess you are the only one here who isn't preoccupied with sex and committing sins. What do you have to say!"
Little Johnny replied, "Reverend, you ain't said nothing about meing and meing!"