• New Husband

    The minister dies and the congregation decides, after some time, that his widow, should marry again. Since it is a small village, the only available candidate is the local butcher, a simple, unpolished man. Reluctantly, since she was used to living with a bible scholar, she accepts.

    After the marriage, on Friday night just after taking a bath - the new husband tells his wife, "Look, my mother always said that before the beginning of the weekend it was a blessing to have sex."

    They do it and then on Saturday he tells her, "According to my father it is a blessing to have sex during the day before the Sabbath."

    There they go again, and when it is time to go to sleep he tells her, "My grandfather told me that one should always have sex on Sabbath night."

    Finally they go to sleep and when they wake up the next morning he tells her, "My aunt says that a Christian man always starts the Sabbath by having sex. So lets do it."

    Finally on Monday she goes out to the market and meets a friend that asks her, "So how is the new husband?"

    "Well, an intellectual he isn't, but he comes from a wonderfully religious family."
  • Cleansing from Sins

    There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."

    The priest said, "Confess your sins and be forgiven."

    The young woman said, "Last night my boyfriend made mad, passionate love to me seven times."

    The priest thought long and hard and then said, "Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice."

    The young woman asked, "Will this cleanse me of my sins?"

    The priest said, "No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face."
  • Disability Compensation

    The anatomy lesson for the week was the way in which the body of a handicapped person compensates for its deficiency. As an example, the professor showed a slide of a man with no legs whose arms and shoulders had consequently become hugely muscled.

    "Your assignment," he instructed a pretty medical student, "is to find someone who has compensated for a physical handicap and to report on it for the class."

    After class the student went into the bar next door, and what should she catch sight of but a hunchback nursing a beer at the bar. Screwing up her courage, she went over and told him about her assignment. "If you don't mind my asking," she said sweetly, "is there some part of your anatomy which has compensated for your handicap?"

    "As a matter of fact there is," said the hunchback. "Come up to my place and I'll show you."

    When they got upstairs, he dropped his pants and revealed the biggest cock she had ever seen.

    Kneeling down, she couldn't resist touching it, then caressing it, then rubbing it against her face.

    "For God's sake, don't blow it!" screamed the hunchback, jumping back. "That's how I got the hump on my back."
  • Friendly Divorce - In Touch With Feelings

    A couple had been divorced for about 6 months, but still remained good friends. This worked out pretty good since the both lived in the same apartment building.

    One day he slipped on the ice and broke his arm. Later he met his ex-wife in the elevator and she asked if there was anything she could do to help.

    He responded, "Well yes, if it's not to much trouble, could you help me take a bath?"

    She readily agreed, and soon after she began washing him she saw a gradual erection began to appear.

    "Look John," she exclaimed happily, "It still recognizes me!!!"