• Penguin Sex

    A guy is walking down the street, and he's really horny. So he goes to the first whore house he sees. He only has five dollars, so they kick him out. The guy goes to the next one. But, since he only has five dollars, he gets kicked out again.

    So by this time, he's really super horny, so he goes to the next one and says, "Look, I only have five dollars. I'm really horny, and I need a blow-job for 5 dollars!"

    The guy there says "OK. For five dollars, we can give you a penguin."

    "What's a penguin?"

    "You'll see."

    So, the guy takes the $5 and leads the horny man to a bedroom. The horny man unzips his pants, and waits for his "penguin."

    Soon, a whore comes in and starts giving the guy a blow job. Just as he's about to let loose, she stops and walks away.

    Now, the horny guy with his pants at his ankles, waddles after her, shouting "HEY! WHAT'S A PENGUIN?!"
  • Sausage Factory!

    There once was a man who owned a sausage factory, and he was showing his arrogant preppy son around his factory.

    Try as he might to impress his snobbish son, his son would just sneer.

    They approached the heart of the factory, where the father thought, "This should impress him!"

    He showed his son a machine and said "Son, this is the heart of the factory. With this machine here we can put in a pig, and out come sausages."

    The prudish son, unimpressed, said "Yes, but do you have a machine where you can put in a sausage and out comes a pig?"

    The father, furious, thought and said, "Yes son, we call it your mother."
  • How Condoms are Made

    My dentist shared a good one with me on Thursday. He recounts how he was sharing this story with an elderly lady, just as he was putting on his rubber gloves.

    "Do you know how they make these rubber gloves?"

    She said, "No?"

    "Well", he spoofed, "down in Puerto Rico they have this big building set up with a large tank of latex, and the natives walk up to the tank, and dip their hands in - and then walk around for a bit while the latex sets up - then they peel off the gloves and throw them into the big 'Finished Goods Crate' and go around again."

    And she didn't laugh a bit!!!

    Five minutes later, during the procedure, he had to stop cleaning her teeth because she burst out laughing.

    She explained, "I just suddenly thought about how they must be making condoms...!"
  • What's a Blow Job

    After several years of serving the church in a far away land a priest is requested to report to his new assignment at a church in the South Bonx New York. Upon his arrival he set out immediately to learn the new culture by taking a walk down the street in plain clothes.

    On his way a loose looking woman approaches him and in a lowered voice says, "Hey Buddy... blow job 25 bucks."

    The priest glares at her confused and says, "What's a blow job...??"

    The woman is just as confused and says, "What are you a comedian!" and walks off.

    The priest undaunted walks on to the next block and again another seedy looking woman confronts him and again repeats, "Hey mister blow job 25 bucks."

    The priest quickly replies, "What is this blow job!?"

    The woman looks at him surprised and thinking something's wrong hurries off.

    The priest now very curious returns to the church to ask anyone he can find what exactly this thing he's never heard of is. The first door he sees as he enters the church is that of Mother Superior.

    The priest knocks on the door and Mother Superior invites him in to take a seat.

    The priest looks at Mother Superior and says, "I have a question - What is a blow job?"

    Mother Superior quickly goes to shut the door and upon returning to her seat she replies in a whisper....
    "Same as on the outside.... 25 Bucks.... "