|Young Bill was courting Mabel, from the adjoining cattle ranch.|
One evening, as they sat on Bill's porch watching the sun go down over the western hills, Bill spied his prized stallion humping one of his mares.
He sighed in contentment at this idyllic rural scene and figured the omens were right for him to put the move on Mabel.
He leaned over and whispered in her ear, "Mabel, I'd sure like to do what that stallion is doing."
Mabel whispered back, "Go ahead. She's your mare!"
|A small town with a high birth rate attracted the attention of a team of university sociologists. They wrote a grant proposal, got a chunk of money, hired aides and an anthropologist, found a family planning and birth control specialist, moved to town, rented offices, set up their computers, and designed questionnaires.|
On the first full day of work, the project director went out for a cup of coffee. The waitress, knowing he was not a local, asked why he was in town.
He explained and then asked her if she had any idea why the birth rate was so high.
To his surprise, she replied, "Sure. Every morning the six o'clock train comes through here and blows for the crossing, waking everybody up. It's too late to go back to sleep and it's too early to get up!"
|Every day a man would walk up to a woman in her office, stand very close to her, inhale a deep breath of air, and say, "Your hair sure smells nice!"|
After a week of this, she reports him to the Human Resources Department.
"I want to file a sexual harassment suit against him."
The HR supervisor was puzzled, "I don't get it. How is a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice sexual harassment?"
The woman replied, "It's Keith. You know, the midget?"
|A guy is about three steps inside a bar when he realizes it's a gay bar.|
"What the heck? I really want a drink," he thinks, and sits down.
A waiter approaches and says, "What's the name of your penis?"
The guy says, "Look, buddy, I'm not into that. All I want is a drink."
The waiter says, "I'm sorry, sir, but I can't serve you until you give me the name of your penis."
So the customer says, "All right, you go first: what's the name of your penis?"
The waiter says, "Nike... as in, 'Just Do It'."
The guy only thinks a moment, then says, "My penis is called 'Secret.'"
"Yeah... strong enough for a man, but made for a woman!"