• Rings Around The Penis

    Two very nervous men got to talking in the doctor's waiting room.

    They discovered they had similar symptoms: one had a red ring around the base of his penis and the other one had a green ring.

    The fellow with the red ring was examined first. In a few minutes he came out, all smiles, and said, "Don't worry, man, it's nothing."

    Vastly relived, the second man went into the examining room, only to be told a few minutes later by the doctor, "I'm sorry, but you have an advanced case of VD. I'm afraid you'll have to be castrated."

    Turning white, the young man gasped, "But the first guy... he said it was no big deal!"

    "Well, you know," said the doctor, "there's a big difference between gangrene and lipstick."
  • Watching The Obscene Act

    It was a difficult case for the jurors. They had to decide whether the owners of the Bottoms Up Club in NYC were guilty of obscenity.

    The Judge decided that it would probably be best if the jury went to the club and see the allegedly obscene act.

    The judge and the jury watched the act once, focusing on the part where a sexy couple performed the "Dance of Love" with a climactic scene of lovemaking on a bearskin rug. The jury was unable to decide definitely whether it was obscene or not.

    So the jury members asked to see the act one more time. They watched it carefully again. But they still couldn't reach a decision. So this time they asked the understudies to perform the same act one more time.

    Fortunately, the police involved in the case were very understanding. According to the Detective: "It is a difficult matter. The police have watched the show 75 times."
  • Artificial Pussy

    A very talented inventor devised an artificial pussy. You could not distinguish it from the real thing.

    Realizing what a money maker he had devised, he approached a sea captain who was embarking on a six month cruise. He made an agreement with the captain to split the profits 50/50 and charge each sailor $2.00 to utilize it.

    Upon the end of the voyage the inventor was standing on the pier awaiting the ship. The ship tied up and the captain came down the gangway.

    The two embraced and the inventor asked, "'How much did we make?"

    The captain reached in his pocket, drew out a dollar bill and handed it to the inventor. The inventor blew his stack.

    He screamed, "What the hell, one dollar, didn't they like it?"

    The captain responded, "Oh yeah, oh yeah, the first guy liked it so much he ate it!!"
  • No Premarital Sex

    Pappu met a girl at the discotheque and after a couple of dances it is obvious that they are really attracted to each other.

    Pappu asks the girl home and she accepts.

    Once at home, nature being nature and the attraction being strong, after some kissing and petting, Pappu makes some forceful advances.

    The girl tells him, "Pappu I really find you physically attractive and even I want to do this, but we must wait."

    Pappu says, "Pooja you do not know how beautiful you are, I have some condoms in my pocket, and I cannot wait anymore."

    Pooja replies, "In our family we are deeply religious and I have to tell you that kissing and petting is all fine, but for me there will be no sex before marriage."

    Pappu breaks away from the embrace, sits up on the bed, pulls out a piece of paper and starts writing on it.

    "What are you writing?" asks Pooja.

    "My phone number," says Pappu.

    "And what pushed you into suddenly writing your number?" asks Pooja.

    "Here," says Pappu, "call me when you are married."