|A population control program had been introduced in a remote village, but the doctors were having trouble getting the women to take their birth control pills. They decided, therefore, to concentrate on teaching the men to wear condoms.|
Doctor told Santa, who had 4 children in four years, that he absolutely had to wear a condom. Doctor explained that as long as he wore it his wife could not have another baby.
About a month later Santa's wife, Jeeto, came in and she was pregnant. The doctor got very angry. He called Santa in and gave him a long lecture through an interpreter. He asked Santa why he hadn't worn the condom.
The interpreter said, "He swears he did wear it. He never took it off."
The doctor shook his head. "In that case, ask him how in the heck his wife is pregnant again?"
"He says," said the interpreter, "that after six days he had to pee so badly that he cut the end off."
|Jeeto and Preeto were having one of those girl to girl talks......|
Preeto, "You're lucky that you don't have to put up with men having sex with you. I have to put up with Banta... and there's no telling where he last had his pecker."
Jeeto responded, "Just because I am esthetically challenged, doesn't mean I don't have to fight off unwelcome sexual advances."
Preeto asks, "Well how do you deal with the problem?"
Jeeto says, "Whenever I feel that a guy's getting ready to make a pass me, I muster all my might and squeeze out the loudest, nastiest fart I can."
Well, that night, Banta was already in bed with the lights out when Preeto headed to bed. She could hear him start to stir, and knew that he would be wanting some action. She had been saving her farts all day, and was ready for him.....so, she tensed up her butt cheeks and forced out the most disgusting sounding fart you could imagine.
Banta rolls over and asks, "That's you Jeeto ?"
|The newlywed couple, Banta and Preeto, arrives in their honeymoon suite, and it turns out that they are both virgins. Brought up the old traditional way, neither of them really knows how to have sex. So after about half a painful hour of abortive attempts to get it on, an idea occurs to Banta.|
"OK, honey," he says, "This is what we'll do. I'll go into the closet and you go into the bathroom. We'll both get undressed and turn off the lights in the bedroom. And then on the count of three we'll both rush out at each other and then it will just happen in the middle of the bedroom."
Preeto is a bit unsure about this, but since she doesn't have any better ideas she agrees. So, Banta goes into the closet and Preeto goes into the bathroom and they both get undressed.
The anticipation is driving him mad and as he takes off his clothes he begins to get an enormous erection. Preeto turns off the lights and on the count of three they both rush out into the bedroom towards each other. However since the room is dark Banta gets disoriented and runs by her...right into the dresser. He hits his willy against the dresser so hard that he passes out from the pain.
The next thing he remembers is coming to in a hospital bed, with a doctor looking down at him. His throbbing dick is still so painful that he moans to the doctor, "Doc, doc, how bad is it?"
To which the doctor replied, "That's nothing son. Wait till you see your wife! We still haven't gotten her off the doorknob yet."
|A young couple was married, and celebrated their first night together, doing what newlyweds do, time and time again, all night long.|
Morning comes and the groom goes into the bathroom but finds no towel when he emerges from the shower. He asks the bride to please bring one from the bedroom.
When she gets to the bathroom door, he opened the door, exposing his body for the first time to his bride where she sees all of him well.
Her eyes went up and down and at about midway, they stopped and stared, and she asked shyly, "What's THAT?", pointing to a small part of his anatomy.
He, also being shy, thought for a minute and then said, "Well, that's what we had so much fun with last night."
And she, in amazement asked, "Is that all we have left?"