• A Nun in a Taxi!

    A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why is he staring and he replies, ''I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you.

    She answers, 'My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun a long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.''

    ''Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.''

    She responds, ''Well, let's see what we can do about that: first, you have to be single and second, you must be Catholic.''

    The cab driver is very excited and says, ''Yes, I am single and I'm Catholic too!''

    The nun says ''OK, pull into the next alley.''

    He does and the nun fulfills his fantasy. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying. ''My dear child, said the nun, why are you crying?''

    ''Forgive me sister, but I have sinned. I lied, I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish.''

    The nun says, ''That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm on my way to a Halloween party.''
  • Cheating Wife

    A guy thought his wife was cheating on him. So he waited for her to leave that night and jumped in a cab to follow her. By following her he found out she was working in a 'fun house'.

    The guy says to the cabbie, "Wanna make a $ 100?"

    The cabbie says, "Sure, what do I have to do?"

    The guy replied that all the cabbie has to do was go inside the 'fun house' and grab his wife and put her in the back of the cab and take them home.

    So the cabbie goes in.

    A couple of minutes later the whore house gets kicked open, and the cabbie is dragging this woman out who is kicking, biting, punching, and fighting all the way to the cab.

    The cabbie opens the door to the cab, throws the girl inside, and tells the man, "Here hold her!!"

    The man looks down at the girl and says to the cabbie, "THIS AIN'T MY WIFE".

    The cabbie replied, "I KNOW, IT'S MINE; I'M GOING BACK IN FOR YOURS!!"
  • Dinner Prayer!!!

    A Christian family, comprising mom, dad and daughter were sitting around the dinner table with the reverend of their church as their honored guest.

    The mom told her daughter to start off the prayer so they can start eating dinner already.

    The daughter hesitated, "But Mom!"

    After her mom gave her an encouraging look, she started the prayer.

    She started moaning and groaning, as if she's having an orgasm. She was also screaming, "Oooh, God! Ooooh, Jimmy! Oooh, God! Jimmy! Oh God, oh God!"

    All of a sudden, her mother stopped her.

    "What's gotten into you?"

    She seemed embarrassed and surprised.

    The daughter then said to her mother, "What? That's what I hear when you pray!"
  • Reluctant Recruit

    When his son refused to get a job, his father insisted he join the Marines.

    At the induction physical, the doctor directed the reluctant naked recruit to read the eye chart across the room.

    "What chart?" the young man asked.

    "The one on the wall!" The doctor said.

    "What wall?"

    Sensing he had a deadbeat on his hands, the doctor asked his beautiful nurse to walk in naked.

    "What do you see now?"

    "Nothing."

    "Well, you may not see anything," the doctor said, "but your 'indicator' is pointing toward Paris Island !

    Welcome to the Marine Corps, son.