• Fucking Deja vu

    The Pick-up Couple was relaxing after a satisfying session of love making.

    The guy considered himself lucky to have been able to attract and bed such a luscious looking dish. He was even considering trying to establish a relationship instead of just a one night stand. But he couldn't help but wonder why she wasn't already in one.

    "I can't help feeling that we've met before," he said.

    "Yeah, I know." sighed the girl stretching. "It happens to me a lot. I think they call this 'deja screw'."
  • Married vs. Unmarried Women

    A survey conducted by Sexologist Dr Paras Shah at Ahmedabad among women (Married & Unmarried) gave the following results.

    'UW' - Unmarried Women
    'MW' - Married Women

    Q: What is the one thing that pierces a woman hard, when she hugs a man?
    UW: Penis.
    MW: Unshaved facial hair.

    Q: What is the most painful experience during sex?
    UW: Beginning of intercourse.
    MW: When my hair gets entangled.

    Q: How long does an intercourse last?
    UW: Around an hour.
    MW: Just about 6 mins.

    Q: One thing that a woman hates about sex?
    UW: Risk of pregnancy.
    MW: The cleaning up.

    Q: What do men hate the most in a woman's body?
    UW: Body odour / unwanted hair / flab.
    MW: Menstruation.

    Q: Which is the one part of woman's body that can get her into trouble?
    UW: Vagina.
    MW: Tongue.

    Q: What is the one quality that a man likes in a woman?
    UW: Simplicity / Intelligence / Understanding.
    MW: Cooking.
    v Q: When is a man in the maximum mood for sex?
    UW: At night / When naked.
    MW: Those 5 days.

    Q: Which part of a woman's body is most liked by men?
    UW: Breasts / waist / face / eyes.
    MW: Closed mouth.

    Q: When is a man not in the mood to have sex?
    UW: When he is sick / tired / upset.
    MW: When he is hungry.

    Q: When is a man very kind to his woman?
    UW: When he needs help / when aroused.
    MW: In front of other women.

    Marriage does bring a lot of maturity to women.
  • Pussy Tricks!

    Santa while travelling in a plane was continuously looking at a woman's legs and saw that she wasn't wearing her panties and beneath her tall waxed legs was a clean shaved pussy that was just unbelievable.

    Woman: I know what you are looking at.

    Santa apologetically: I am sorry Mam this would not happen again.

    Woman: That's perfectly OK. I know I'm not wearing my panties but one thing you don't know is that my pussy can do funny things.

    Santa: Like what?

    Woman: It can wink.

    Santa: Show me how?

    The woman lifted her skirt and made her clean shaved pussy wink at the Santa.

    Santa: Wow, it's amazing.

    Woman: It can blow a kiss as well....... and she made her nice pink lips blow a kiss at Santa.

    Santa got completely floored by this and was in awe of what he just saw.

    Woman who was completely hot and wet and wanted some action said to Santa: You can come next to my seat and put your fingers in my pussy.

    Santa: Teri behen di, don't tell me it can whistle too!
  • Agony Uncle

    If agony aunts were uncles:

    Reader: My husband-to-be ,still pines for his old girlfriends. I'm afraid he will not be faithful.
    Jim: A man's capacity to love is boundless, it has been proven to increase with the number of sexual partners. Thus, by having a few other women, your partner is really increasing his love for you. Best thing to do is to buy him a nice. expensive present, and cook him a nice meal and don't mention this aspect of has behavior.

    Reader: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.
    Jim: This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. Far from being pleasurable, a night out with the boys is a stressful affair and to get back to you is a relief for your partner. Just look back at how emotional and happy the man is when he returns to his stable home. Best thing to do is to buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice meal and don't mention this aspect of his behavior.

    Reader: My husband wants to experience three-in-a-bed-sex with me and my sister.
    Jim: Your husband is clearly devoted to you. He cannot get enough of you, so he goes for the next best thing - your sister. Far from being an issue, this will bring all of the family together. Why not get mum involved? If you are still apprehensive, then let him go with your relatives, buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice meal and don't mention this aspect of his behavior.

    Reader: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex with him.
    Jim: Do it. Sperm is not only great tasting, but with only 10 calories a spoonful it is nutritious and helps you to keep tour figure and gives a great glow to the skin. Interestingly, a man knows this. His offer to you to perform oral sex with him is totally selfless. Oral sex is extremely painful for a man. This shows he loves you. Best thing to do is to thank him, buy him a nice, expensive present and cook him a nice meal.

    Reader: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.
    Jim: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it, do it in your own time. To help with the family budget, you may wish to video yourself while doing this and to sell it at a car boot sale. To ease your selfish guilt, buy your man a nice, expensive present and cook a delicious meal.