• The Wash Cloth

    There was a little boy whose mother was about to have a baby. One day, the little boy walked in and saw his mother naked. He asked his mother what the hair between her legs was.

    She responded, "It's my wash cloth."

    Weeks later, after the mother had her baby, the young boy walked in on his mother again. While she was in the hospital, the doctor had shaved her pubic hair.

    The boy asked, "What happened to your wash cloth?"

    The mother responded, "I lost it."

    The little boy, trying to be helpful, set out to find his mother's washcloth.

    A few days later, he ran to his mother yelling and screaming, "I found your washcloth."

    The mother, thinking that the child was just playing, went along with the boy and asked, "Where did you find it?"

    The boy answered, "The maid has it! She is washing daddy's face with it."
  • Forgot Password?

    Many years ago I was acting as the system administrator for a test system in a large publicly held company.

    Periodically I would receive a call from someone who had not accessed the system recently, forgot their password and locked themselves out trying to logon. I would look up their password and unlock the system for them and they would go on their merry way.

    One day I received a call from a young lady who was in just such a predicament. I looked up her password and informed her that it was 'DOME' and, just to be playful, told her the price for me being gracious enough to unlock her sign-on was an explanation of the meaning of her password.

    She became very embarrassed over the phone and pleaded that she could never reveal her secret.

    I of course replied that I would not give her system access until she did. After negotiating for several minutes she finally acquiesced but made me promise to never reveal her password meaning to any of her colleagues to which I gladly agreed.

    "Well, what does it mean?" I asked.

    She hesitated and then replied, "It's two words."

    There was pregnant pause. I unlocked her system and simply said, "Have a nice day".
  • Fucking Laws of Management

    3 Fucking Laws of Management - If you learn them, no one can beat you in Corporate Management...

    1. Fucking Law of Delivery Time - No matter how hard and fast you fuck, the child comes after 9 months.

    Moral - Pressurizing does not alter delivery period.

    2. Fucking Law of Direction - Even though both holes are nearby, if by a wrong shot, you enter the wrong hole, no matter how hard you fuck, you never get a child.

    Moral - Right direction and focus is very important to get the results, even few centimeters away from right direction, even if it gives satisfaction, cannot lead to results.

    3. Fucking Law of Human Resources - By appointing 4 men to fuck 1 woman, you cannot get 4 children, but if you appoint one man to fuck 4 women, you can get 4 children.

    Moral - Appoint the right person at the right position. Otherwise you would keep on wondering, why you are not getting the results even after appointing more men.

    Forward to all Hard working employees. This is why sex education is necessary.
  • Wow, It's Dark Here!

    A small boy is wandering in a hotel, and hearing some noises decides to open a door. He says "Wow, it's dark here!"

    You can imagine that there's a man with a woman in bed in that room... The man asks, "What do you want? Here's a pound, leave us alone."

    A bit latter, the boy goes back again, opens the door, and says: "Wow, it's dark here!"

    "Not you again! Here, take this and go buy yourself something." And the boy goes out with 2 pounds.

    The following morning, the boy feels some remorse, and tells what happened to his mother. She says: "That's wrong. You should go to the church, and confess yourself."

    So there he goes. Entering the booth, he says: "Wow, it's dark here!"

    To which the priest says: "Not you again, are you following me around?"