• Fuckin' Problem

    A traveling salesman was passing through the country side and stopped at a farm asking for some cool water. The old farmers wife invited him to sit in the shade of the porch with her and got him some cold lemonade.

    They sat and talked for a while when suddenly a hen went running by with a rooster covered in a pair of coveralls chasing her.

    The salesman asked, "What in the devil was that?"

    The old farmers wife told him "Well you see, some years ago we had a tornado come through here and hit the hen house. It killed all our chickens except for that rooster, but it plucked every feather off of him. Well I kind of felt sorry for him, seeing how as he did survive a tornado and I knitted him a pair of coveralls."

    The salesman said, "Well that is just about the funniest thing I have ever seen."

    To which the farmers wife replied, "You think that's funny, you ought to see that rooster hold a hen down with one leg and try to get those coveralls off with the other."
  • Sexual Orientation!

    One day a father and his ten-year-old son were on the bus, when the boy noticed a redhead with huge breasts..."Hey Pop," the son cried, "look at those boobs!"

    The father, a religious man proceeded to send the boy to an all male military academy, in the hope that he would get some manners.

    Six months later the boy came home and the father decided to take him on another bus ride.

    Again, a woman with very large breasts sat across from them. To see if his son had learned any manners, the father exclaimed, "Look at the boobs on that redhead!"

    "Boobs my eye," the boy replied with a smile, "get a load of the ASS on that bus driver!!!"
  • Sex With Animals

    A priest was arriving at his new parish in a small rural community. One of the members met him at the train with his horse and buggy to drive him to his new church.

    As they were going along the way, they passed a man in a pasture having intercourse with a goat. The priest was horrified; however, the man sitting next to him seemed completely unfazed and continued driving.

    Pretty soon they passed another pasture, where the priest witnessed a man having intercourse with a sheep. Again there was no reaction from the driver.

    A little further down the road, they came upon a man standing out in his pasture masturbating. The priest just couldn't take any more.

    "Stop right here, right now" the priest told the driver.

    The priest jumped out and went over to the man who was masturbating.

    "I don't get it," the priest said. "First we pass a man having sex with a goat, then we pass a man having sex with a sheep, and now we come upon you and you're masturbating. Can you tell me what is going on here?"

    "Well, Father," the man drawled, "Many of us out here are poor folk, so not everybody can afford an animal."
  • Watching The Obscene Act

    It was a difficult case for the jurors. They had to decide whether the owners of the Bottoms Up Club in NYC were guilty of obscenity.

    The Judge decided that it would probably be best if the jury went to the club and see the allegedly obscene act.

    The judge and the jury watched the act once, focusing on the part where a sexy couple performed the "Dance of Love" with a climactic scene of lovemaking on a bearskin rug.

    The jury was unable to decide definitely whether it was obscene or not. So the jury members asked to see the act one more time.

    They watched it carefully again. But they still couldn't reach a decision. So this time they asked the understudies to perform the same act one more time.

    Fortunately, the police involved in the case were very understanding. According to the Detective, "It is a difficult matter. The police have watched the show 175 times."