• Stiff Tongue

    Two lesbians are walking up the street. They see a gorgeous woman who is tall and curvaceous.

    1st lesbian: Oh, look how beautiful she is!

    2nd: Uhmm, yummy!

    1st: Look at her breasts!

    2nd: Uhmm...

    1st: Look at her legs!

    2nd: Uhmmmm... Ummm...

    1st: What is this all 'Uhmm..... Uhmm'? Can you say something else?

    2nd writes on a piece of paper: "I can't, my tongue got hard."
  • How Babies Are Delivered

    When the gynaecologist confirmed her suspicion that she was pregnant, Anni got a little scared.

    "It'll be my first baby," she confessed with a blush, "and actually I don't know the first thing about how babies are delivered."

    "Don't worry about a thing," reassured the doctor. "It's really not all that different from how the baby got started in the first place."

    Startled, Anni exclaimed, "You mean three times up and down the courthouse steps, hanging on to Charlie on his dirt bike?"
  • Battalion Cocktails

    An Army Battalion was having a cocktail party to welcome the new Brigade Commander.

    A circular was sent out to all: "Cockfail at 7 PM sharp at the Officers Mess."

    The Commanding Officer saw the spelling mistake and asked the Adjutant to amend it.

    The Adjutant did and now it read:

    "Refer to circular, read tail, instead of fail cock stands, as it is."
  • Whale's Revenge

    Two whales are swimming in the ocean when they saw a whaling ship in the distance, the male whale realizes that it's the same one that killed his parents so he turns to the female whale and asks if she'll help him get his revenge.

    She's a little apprehensive but finally agreed, both gone to the either side of the boat and start to blow through their blowholes, rocking the boat until it capsizes.

    The male whale starts to eat all the sailors when & notices the female whale swimming away. He followed and asked, 'Where are you going?'

    To which she replied, 'Listen, I agreed to the blow - job, but if you think I'm swallowing any seamen you've got another thing coming!'