• Love Deuce

    Little Johnny asks his dad for a telly in his room.

    His dad reluctantly agrees.

    Next day Little Johnny comes downstairs and asks, "Dad, what's love juice"

    Dad looks horrified and tells Little Johnny all about sex and the birds and the bees.

    Little Johnny just sat there with his mouth open in amazement.

    Dad says, "So what were you watching"?

    Little Johnny replies, "Lawn Tennis"
  • Complisult !!!

    Two high-school buddies were attending the senior prom. "Suzy wants to go out to my car. She's really hot," one boy said.

    "I'm really nervous. I know I'll goof up!"

    "Take it easy," his friend assured him. "All you gotta do is compliment her. Chicks love to be complemented. You'll have her in the palm of your hand."

    About a half-hour later the young man came back, rubbing a black eye. "Shit, man! What happened to you?!" his buddy asked.

    "I took your advice."

    "Didn't you compliment her?"

    "Sure I did. We got in my car and started kissing. I told her that for such full lips, hers sure tasted sweet. She liked that. After a while I started feeling her tits, and I told her that for such large breasts they sure were firm. She liked that too."

    "It sounds like you were doing great," his friend said.

    "Well," the other answered, "that's when everything went wrong. I got her dress up and her panties off, and I tried to think of another compliment."

    "What did you say?"

    "For such a large crack, it doesn't stink much."
  • Set the Mood Withe Alexa Skills

    Alexa, I am feeling horny.

    Alexa: Most certainly you are. Don't worry. I dimming the lights. Setting your AC to 22 degrees.

    The dick hardener is kept on top right shelf of your wardrobe. The pussy gel is kept next to it.

    I have hired your favourite Thai masseur. She is just 12 minutes away as per her Uber ride status.

    I have scheduled her 5k payment from your credit card 2 hours from now.

    I have checked your wife's GPS and she is in Big Bazaar Lower Parel buying groceries. As per her buying checklist stored on my disk, she will take at least 2 more hours plus considering Google maps traffic, more 1 hour to reach home.

    Enjoy your fuck. And yes, your condom is in the pull out drawer of living room and the key to that drawer is in your wallet.

    This is the last condom, so have added condoms to your Amazon cart.
  • Asking for Directions

    A shapely Finnish girl was a counselor at a girl's camp on Wonder Lake. She was at the camp a day early to get things in order, and when her work was done, she thought it would be nice to start a sun tan "au natural", since this was private property.

    Suddenly, she heard male voices! She jumped up, stood in a crouch, and covered her bosom with crossed arms.

    Two young men approached her, asking, "Which way is it to the boy's camp on Wonder Lake?"

    She said, "Oh, I know you guys, you just want me to point, so you can see my titties!"

    "No, no," they said, "we just want to know what direction we must go, we're lost."

    "O.K., she said, straightening up, and standing on her right leg and lifting her left leg horizontally, she said, "It's over dat way!"