|Santa goes into the employment office in Chandigarh, there aren't many jobs so it doesn't take him long. Then, just as he's on his way out, he spots something.|
"Wanted," it says, "Single man, willing to travel, must have own scissors. Rs 1000 per day guaranteed, plus other benefits."
Well, it sounds a bit too good to be true, but he makes a note and walks up at the counter.
"I'd like to apply for this job," Santa says.
"Oh, that one," says the clerk. "It's a model agency right here in Chandigarh. They're looking for a pubic hair snipper. You see, they supply girls who model underwear and bathing suits, and before they go on the catwalk, they'd report to you and you have to snip off any wisps of pubic hair that are showing.
"Wow! That's great," said Santa.
It pays well, but there are a few drawbacks. It involves quite a lot of travel and you have to get used to expense account living in first-class hotels."
"I reckon I could learn to live with all that," says Santa. "I'd really like to apply for the job."
The clerk shrugs and says, "OK, here's an application form and a ticket to Ludhiana."
"Ludhiana? What do I wanna go to Ludhiana for?"
"Well," says the clerk, "that's where the end of the application line is at the moment!"
|Little Johnny was charged with the rape of a grown woman, and though the crime seemed highly improbable, the evidence was overwhelming.|
As a last, desperate move, the defense counsel came over to the witness stand, pulled down Little Johnny's pants, and grabbed his tiny penis for all to see.
"Ladies and gentlemen," the lawyer cried, turning toward the jury box, "surely you cannot believe that such a small, still undeveloped organ is sexually mature?"
Growing more agitated he went on, "How could this miniature member be capable even of erection, let alone the rape of a fully grown woman."
"WATCH IT," yelped Little Johnny. "One more shake and you'll lose the case!"
|The Sheriff in a small town walks out in the street and sees a blonde cowboy coming down the walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun and his boots, so he arrests him for indecent exposure.|
As he is locking him up, he asks, "Why in the world are you walking around like this?"
The Cowboy says, "Well it's like this Sheriff. I was in the bar down the road and this pretty little red head asks me to go out to her motor home with her. So I did. We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks me to pull off my shirt... so I did. Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off my pants so I did. Then she pulls off her panties and asks me to pull off my shorts ...so I did.
Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kind of sexy and says, 'Now go to town cowboy... '
"And here I am."
|Banta went to a bar in London and ordered a drink.|
A few minutes later, a beautiful blonde sat down next to him and started coming on to him.
Soon she invited him back to her place.
Overcome with excitement, Banta agreed.
When they got to the bedroom, Banta exclaimed, "Wow! A waterbed. I've never had sex on a waterbed before!!"
Soon they were both naked and going at it.
The blonde stopped him and said, "Before we go any further, don't you think you should put on some protection??"
"Good idea," he responded and got up.
Banta walked out of the room, and when he came back, he was wearing a life preserver!!!