|The journey of a boy to a man in search of an answer.....|
When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big tits.
When I was 16 I got a girlfriend with big tits, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.
In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.
When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.
When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad, impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.
When I turned 30, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground, so I married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.
I am older and wiser now, and I am looking for a girl with big tits.
|One night a man has a dream that he died and went to heaven. He sat next to another man on a bench and began talking. Before long a beautiful redhead walks by.|
"Man, I'd sure like to fuck that!"
"This is heaven, just take her behind the white cloud," his new friend replied.
So he takes her behind the cloud and has the best lay of his life. When he gets back to the bench he begins to tell the man all about it. Then another hot lady walks by.
"Geez, I'd love to bang that!"
"Fine, just take her behind the white cloud."
He does, and returns back to the bench. Another ten minutes goes by and another lady walks by.
"Excuse me for a moment, I have to get her!"
"OK, just remember to go behind the white cloud."
He gets back and sets down. "This is great! But I really have to take a shit!"
"Go behind the white cloud," the guy replies.
He gets up and does a number.
"What do I wipe with?"
"Just use some of the white cloud," the man yells back.
Morning comes and the guy walks downstairs where his wife has made him breakfast.
"I had the wildest dream last night!" He says to his wife.
"You're telling me! You fucked my three times, shit on the pillow, and wiped your ass with the sheets!"
|There's an old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery.|
One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, "If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I'll quit!"
Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say they had "fallen."
This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well, until the priest died at a ripe old age.
About a week after the new priest arrived, he visited the mayor of the town and seemed very concerned.
The priest said, "You have to do something about the sidewalks in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep talking about having fallen."
The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had told the new priest about the code word.
Before the mayor could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at the mayor and said, "I don't know what you're laughing about, your own wife fell five times this week, and it's only Wednesday!"
|Every Sunday, a little old lady placed $1,000 in the collection plate. This went on for weeks until the priest, overcome with curiosity, approached her.|
"Sister, I couldn't help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the collection plate," he remarked.
"Why yes," she replied, "every week my daughter sends me money, and what I don't need I give to the church."
"That's wonderful, how much does she send you?"
"Oh, $2,000 a week."
"Your son must be very successful; what does she do for a living?"
"She is a veterinarian," she answered.
"That is a very honorable profession. Where does she practice?"
"Well, he has one cat house in Las Vegas and another in Reno."