|A couple is on a plane in the middle of the night, and it is dark and quiet.|
The woman says to her husband, "Let's have sex right here".
The husband says, "Are you crazy? People will hear and see us".
"But everybody is asleep", claims the wife, "I will prove it to you. I will ask for water and you'll see that nobody answers me and nobody even hears what I'm saying".
So the woman says in a low voice, "Can I have some water please?"
But no one answers. So the husband starts having sex with her.
After the plane lands, a man run to the steward and says, "Quick, give me water. I have been so thirsty for the last 5 hours"
The steward gives him water and asks him, "Why didn't you ask for water during the flight?"
The guy says, "No way, a woman two rows in front of me asked for water and you won't believe what they did to her!"
|This woman dies, and when she gets to heaven she asks Saint Peter, "Would it be possible for me to get together with my dear departed husband? He died many years ago."|
Saint Peter asks, "What's his name?"
"John Smith," replies the woman.
"Gee," says Saint Peter, "we've got a lot of John Smiths up here. But sometimes we can identify people by their last words. Do you happen to remember what his last words were?"
The woman thinks for a moment, then says, "Oh yes! I remember them! He said that if I ever slept with another man after he was gone, he would roll over in his grave."
"Oh!" says Saint Peter. "You mean Whirling John Smith!"
|A man walks into a drug store with his 10-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?"|
To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms, son.... Men use them to have safe sex."
"Oh I see," replied the boys pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school." He looks over the display and picks up a package of three and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package."
The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday."
"Cool!' says the boy. He notices a six pack and asks, "Then who are these for?"
"Those are for college men," the dad answers, "TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday."
"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12 pack.
With a sigh, the dad replied, "Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March........"
|Banta thought his wife, Preeto, was cheating on him. So he waited for her to leave that night and jumped in a taxi to follow her.|
By following her he found out she was working in a whorehouse.
Banta says to the driver, who incidentally happens to be santa "Wanna make Rs 1000?"
Santa says, "Sure, what I have to do?"
Banta replied that all he has to do was go inside the whorehouse and grab his wife and put her in the back of the taxi and take them home. So Santa goes in.
A couple of minutes later the whore house gets kicked open, and Santa is dragging this woman out who is kicking, biting, punching, and fighting all the way to the taxi.
Santa opens the door to the cab, throws the woman inside, and tells Banta, "Here hold her!!"
Banta looks down at the woman and says to the driver, "This is not my wife".
Santa replied, "I know, it's mine; I'm going back in for yours!!"