• Australian Ventriloquist in Pakistan

    An Australian ventriloquist visiting Pakistan walks into a small village and sees a local farmer Usman sitting on his porch patting his pet rabbit. He figures he'll have a little fun.

    Ventriloquist "G'day Mate! Good looking rabbit, mind if I speak to him.

    Usman: The rabbit doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie.

    Ventriloquist: Hello rabbit, how's it going mate?

    Rabbit: Doin' all right.

    Usman: (look of extreme shock)

    Ventriloquist: Is this villager your owner? (pointing at Usman)

    Rabbit: Yep.

    Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?

    Rabbit: Real good. He feeds me great food and takes me to the farm once a week to play.

    Usman: (look of utter disbelief)

    Ventriloquist: Mind if I talk to your horse?

    Usman: Uh, the horse doesn't talk either.... I think.

    Ventriloquist: Hey horse, how's it going buddy?

    Horse: Cool.

    Usman: (absolutely dumbfounded)

    Ventriloquist: Is this your owner? (pointing at the villager)

    Horse: Yep.

    Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?

    Horse: Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements.

    Usman: (total look of amazement)

    Ventriloquist: Mind if I talk to your goat?

    Usman: That goat's a fucking liar I didn't do nothing I swear...
  • Smallest Penis!

    Joining a new company, Tim had to take a physical with the company doctor.

    All the tests came out fine but, after a brief hesitation, the doctor noted that Tim had the smallest penis he'd ever seen.

    "Tell me Mr. Potter," he said, "Do you have any difficulties with it being so small?"

    "No," Tim said. "I've got a great wife, two kids, and a normal sex life. I guess the only problem I ever have is finding it when I need to urinate."

    "And yet you still have a normal sex life?"

    "That's not a problem," Dave said, "because then there's TWO of us looking for it."
  • Freaking Awesome Shit

    After an excitingly hot 69 position with his girlfriend, Jerry remembered he had a dentist appointment.

    He was afraid that the dentist would smell pussy on his breath so he brushed his teeth 7 times, used dental floss 8 times & on top of that gargled 1 liter of mouth wash listerine.

    As he arrived at the dentist he sucked two strong mint chocolates. His turn came up and the dentist told him to take a seat.

    Feeling confident and relaxed, Jerry opened his mouth wide.

    The dentist got close enough and said, "Man, did you have 69 before you came here?"

    Jerry asked, "Why? Does my breath smell like pussy?" The dentist replied, "No, your forehead smells like shit."
  • Emotions Never Lie

    Ek Din Girlfriend Apne Boyfriend Pappu Ke Sath Ek Mall Mein Shopping Kar Rahi Thi.

    Usne Ek Bada Hi Low Cut Top Aur Ek Badi Hi Sexy Si Mini Skirt Choose Ki Aur Try Karne Ke Liye Trial Room Mei Chali Gayi.

    Vo Hot Top and Skirt Pehan Kar Bahar Aati Hai Aur Pappu Se Puchti Hai: Main Kaisi Lag Rahi Hun?

    Pappu: Bahut Achchi, Nice.

    Girlfriend: Achche Se Bolo Na.

    Pappu: Beautiful! It's Looking Good On You.

    Girlfriend: Arey Sachchi Batao.

    Pappu: Sach Mein Yaar, You Are Looking Hot.

    Girlfrind: Please, Sachi-Sachi Bolo, Achchi Lag Rahi Hun Ya Just Theek-Theek?

    Pappu: Kasam Se Jaanu, Bahut Hi Mast Lag Rahi Ho Is Dress Mein.

    Girlfriend: Really!!! Kahin Mera Dil Rakhne Ke Liye Jhoot Toh Nahin Bol Rahe?

    Pappu: Oye... Dekh....... Ye Neeche Dekh...... Mera Khada Ho Gya Aur Tujhe Jhooth Lag Raha Hai. Main Jhooth Bol Sakta Hun Baby Lekin Ye...... Ispe Toh Yakeen Kar Le.