• Power Naps to Boost Sexual Stamina

    The two old coots were both only a year short of retirement from the assembly line, but one Monday morning that didn't keep Paul from boasting to Greg about his sexual endurance.

    "Three times," gasped Greg admiringly. "How'd you do it?"

    "It was easy." Paul looked down modestly. "I made love to my wife, and then I rolled over and took a ten-minute nap. When I woke up again, I made love to her again and took another ten- minute nap. And then I put it to her again. Can you believe it! I woke up this morning feeling like a bull, I'll tell you."

    I gotta try it, said Greg. "Keli won't believe it's happening."

    So that night he made love to Keli, took a ten-minute nap, made love to her again, took another nap, woke up and made love to her a third time, then rolled over and fell sound asleep.

    He woke up feeling like a million bucks, pulled on his clothes, and ran to the factory, where he found his boss waiting outside for him. "What's up, Boss?" he asked.

    His boss replied, "You are late, you're fired!"

    "I've been working for you for twenty years and never been late once. You aren't going to hold these twenty minutes against me now, are you?" Greg pleaded.

    "What twenty minutes?" growled the boss. "Where were you on Tuesday and Wednesday?
  • Rehearsal and Performance

    A newly married man was discussing his honeymoon. He says to his buddy at lunch, "Last night, I rolled over, tapped my beautiful young wife on the shoulder, gave her a wink, and we had ourselves a performance!

    "Later that night, about 2 o'clock, I rolled over, gave my sweetie a nudge, and we had ourselves another performance. Well, being so newly married and not yet tired of the task, I waited quietly in bed while my beauty slept until I couldn't wait any longer. It was 4 o'clock when I gave her a little nudge. She opened her blue eyes and smiled sweetly. We immediately had ourselves a rehearsal."

    "A rehearsal?" his buddy asks, "Don't you mean a performance?"

    "No, because a rehearsal is when nobody comes."
  • Small Bites

    An Italian family is at the dinner table when the father says to his oldest son, "Chris! Why you a such a fat a boy?"

    Chris says, "Poppa, it's a Mama's spaghetti! I can't a stop a eating it."

    Poppa says, "You should a take a smaller bites!"

    Then Poppa says to his middle son, "Michael! Why you a such a fat a boy?"

    Michael says, "Poppa, it's a Mama's lasagna. I can't a stop a eating it, it's a so good."

    Poppa says, "You should a also take a smaller bites."

    Then Poppa says to his youngest son, "Fredo! How you a stay so slim a and a trim a?"

    Fredo says, "It's a so easy, Poppa. I eat lots and lots of a pussy."

    Poppa says, "Pussy? Pussy, that's a taste like shit!"

    Fredo says, "Poppa, You should a take a smaller licks!"
  • Some Splaining To Do

    There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light.

    Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights.

    She looked down. and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated leisure device ... a dildo! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one.

    She went completely ballistic. "You impotent bastard," She screamed at him, "How could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!"

    The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: "I'll explain the toy... you explain the kids."