• Hair implant

    Saddam Hussein had an accident, so he was rushed to the hospital. The doctor had to perform an instant operation, due to his injuries. Saddam was wounded on the face and a deep scar was formed on his skin, but under his bushy beard. The doctor shaved off a part of his beard and then performed the surgery.
    Afterwards, the doctor performed more surgery to replace the missing part of the beard, so he would look good as new. The doctor cut off Saddam's pubic hair and implanted it surgically on his face where the beard was missing.
    Saddam awakened and then after 2-3 days, he was discharged and he went back home. After six months, Saddam came to the hospital to talk to the doctor who performed his operation.
    Saddam said, "Doc, everything is okay, but a peculiar thing has happened to me many times."
    The doctor asks, "What is happening?"
    Saddam replies, "Whenever I scratch my beard, my penis gets erect!
  • Perfect Breasts

    Perfect Breasts
    A guy was walking down the street when he sees a woman with perfect breasts.

    He says to her, "Hey, miss, would you let me bite your breasts for $100?"

    "Are you nuts?" she replies and walks away.

    He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she does.

    "Would you let me bite your breasts for $1,000?" he asks again.

    "Listen, sir, I'm not that kind of woman. Got it?"

    So the guy runs around the next block and faces her again.

    "Would you let me bite your breasts... just once for $10,000?"

    So the woman thinks about this for a while and says, "Hmmmmm, $10,000?"

    She thinks a bit, "OK, but just once, and not here. Let's go to that dark alley over there."

    So they go to the alley and she takes off her top to reveal the most perfect breasts in the world. As soon as the guy sees them, he jumps on them and starts caressing them, fondling them, kissing them, burying his face in them but not biting them. Finally, the woman gets all annoyed and says, "Are you gonna bite them or what?"

    "Nah," he replies. "Costs too much!"
  • Dating a Widow

    Dating a Widow
    Sadie had been widowed for a few years and very lonely, and finally consented to going out on a date with Smith, the gentleman her daughter fixed her up with.

    Smith picked up her and they went on a picnic in a very secluded spot. Smith also had been widowed for a long time and found himself very attracted to Sadie, and despite her resistance at first to his advances, he finally was able to make love to her.

    Sadie was mortified at her lack of self control and sobbed, "I don't know how I can face my daughter, knowing in a time of weakness, I sinned twice!"

    Smith said "What do you mean "twice" we only did it once?"

    Sadie looked at Smith and said, "...Well, you're going to do it again, aren't you?"
  • Natural hair!

    "Miss Veronica, we can't employ you as a model," the editor from the men's magazine explained.
    "Why?"
    "It's too obvious that your blonde hair isn't natural, since the hair between your legs is black."
    The model picked up a paperweight and slammed it down on the editor's fingers.
    "What the hell did you do that for!" he exploded.
    She smiled sweetly and said, "Look at your fingers. They're turning black, right? And they've only been banged once."
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