|A small church had a very attractive big-busted organist named Linda. Her breasts were so large that they bounced and jiggled while she played the organ. Unfortunately, this distracted the congregation considerably.|
The very proper church ladies were appalled. They said something had to be done about this or they would have to get another organist.
So one of the ladies approached Linda very discreetly about the problem, and told her to mash up some green astringent persimmons and rub them on her nipples and over her breasts, which should cause them to shrink in size.
But she warned Linda not to taste any of the green persimmons because they are so sour they would make her mouth pucker up, and she wouldn't be able to talk properly for a while.
The voluptuous organist reluctantly agreed to try it. The following Sunday morning the priest climbed into the pulpit and said, "Dew to thircumsthanthis bewond my contwol, we will not hab a thermon tewday"
|Two women friends had gone for a girls' night out. Both were very faithful and loving wives, however They had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers.|
Incredibly drunk and walking home they needed to Pee, so they stopped in the cemetery.
One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought She would take off her panties and use them.
Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive Pair of panties and did not want to ruin them.
She was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she Proceeded to wipe with that.
After the girls did their business, they proceeded to Go home.
The next day, the husband of one of the women was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the other husband and said, "These girl nights have got to stop! I'm starting to suspect the worst. My wife came home with no panties!!"
"That's nothing," said the other husband, "Mine came back with a card stuck to her ass that said..... 'From all of us at the Fire Station. We'll never forget you.' "
|A woman is lying in the road after being run over.|
The driver of the car that knocked her down comes to her aid.
"Are you all right?" he asks.
"You're just a blur," she says, "so my sight is clearly affected."
Concerned, the driver leans over the woman in order to test her eyesight.
"How many fingers have I got up?" he asks her.
"Oh shit!" she replies, "I must be paralyzed from the waist down as well."
|Paddy decided to go rabbit hunting, but when he got to his favorite field, he saw the village priest was already there.|
Paddy watched with fascination as the priest held his finger over the rabbit hole, and immediately a rabbit popped out. The priest grabbed it and put it into a sack.
He repeated this unusual but very successful technique until his sack was full of rabbits.
Paddy stopped the priest and asked him how he did it.
"Easy," said the priest. "Stick your finger in your wife's pussy and wiggle it around a bit. When you hold your finger over a rabbit hole, they can't resist the smell. When they pop their heads out, you grab them."
Paddy rushed home to find his wife bent over scrubbing the floor. He lifted up her skirt and applied his finger as directed.
Without looking up, Paddy's wife giggled, "Holy Moses, Father! Rabbit hunting again?"