|There were three gals who were getting married and all met at the marriage counselor's office to discuss the options of having or not having a baby right away. There were two city gals and one farm gal.|
The counselor asked them if they planned on having a baby right away or were going to wait awhile. They all agreed that they had discussed this with their potential husbands and all agreed to wait awhile.
Well, the counselor asked the first gal what type of birth control she planned to use. Her answer was, "The rhythm method."
"That will work," said the counselor, "if you keep a good record."
He asked the second gal what system she planned on using. "I plan on using birth control pills," she said.
Again he said, "Yes that will work as long as you don't forget to take them."
He then asked the farm girl what system she was planning on using.
Her answer was, "The pail and saucer method."
After a short delay, he told her that should also work. He asked them all to come back in one year on a specific date for a follow up on how things were going. They all met again one year later and the two city gals were pregnant. Only the farm gal was slim and trim yet.
Well, the counselor asked the first gal what method she used and what went wrong.
She replied, "I used the rhythm method but somehow got my notes mixed up and, well here I am, going to have a baby."
He asked the second city gal what method she used and she replied, "The birth control pill. But we were camping one weekend and I didn't have my pills with me and as you can see, I too am going to have a baby."
He turns to the farm gal. "I vaguely remember you were going to use the pail and saucer method. Now I must admit that I don't have a clue what the pail and saucer method is. Will you explain it to me as I see it has worked well for you?"
She replied, "Well we make love standing up, and since I am quite a bit taller than my husband, he stands on a pail turned upside down. Now as we are making love, I watch his eyes, and when his eyes get as big as saucers, I kick the pail out from under him."
|Santa Ke Pass 15 Inch Ka Bada Chota Aur Pyara Sa Ghoda Thha.|
Uske Khas Dost Banta Ne Usko Dekha Aur Puchha: Yaar Itna Pyara Ghoda Kaha Se Liya?
Santa: Yaar Vo Udhar Jheel Ke Paas Ek Bade Pahunche Hue Baba Aaye Hai Aur Tapasya Kar Rahe Hai, Jo Maango De Dete Hai.
Banta: Wah Yaar Ye To Bada Achcha Hai, Main Bhi Jaake Kuch Mang Leta Hun.
Santa: Par Yaar Ek Baat Ka Dhayan Rakhna, Unko Zara Ooncha Sunta Hai, Aur Vo Sirf Ek Hi Murad Puri Karte Hai.
Banta Ja Pahuncha Baba Ke Pas Aur Bola: Baba Ji Mujhe Heerey Se Bhari Ek Bori De Do.
Baba Ne Apne Muh Mein Kuch Mantar Pade Aur Bori Aa Gayi, Aur Baba Fir Apni Tapasya Mein Leen Ho Gaye.
Banta Ne Khushi Khushi Bori Uthayi Aur Ghar Vapis Aa Gaya, Aake Jaisi Hi Usne Bori Kholi To Usmein Kheerey Thhe.
Vo Rota Hua Santa Ke Pass Gaya Aur Bola: Yaar Badi Bakchodi Ho Gayi. Sant: Kyun, Kya Hua? Banta: Yaar Maine Baba Se Ek Bori Heere Maneg Thhe Par Baba Ne Ek Bori Kheere De Diye.
Santa Gusse Se Bola: Bhosdi Ke... Tujhe Bola Toh Tha Ki Baba Ooncha Sunte Hai. Aur Tujhe Kya Lagta Hai Ki Maine 15 Inch Ka Ghoda Manga Hoga.
|"Let us assume," said the professor, "that you are aboard a small craft alone in the Pacific, and you spot a vessel approaching you with several thousand sex-starved sailors on board.|
What would you do in this situation to avoid any problem?"
"I would attempt to turn my craft in the opposite direction," stated the brunette.
"I would pass them, trusting my knife and a bottle of mace to keep me safe," responded the redhead.
"Frankly" murmured the blonde, "I understand the situation, but I fail to see the problem."
|Larry went to his urologist for his exam but was surprised to learn his doctor had a new partner, a gorgeous female urologist. She explained that she was going to handle his prostate exam.|
"Larry, please lie on your right side, bend your knees, take a deep breath and say 'one hundred.'"
Larry did so.
Then she said, "Okay, now roll over onto your left side, bend your knees, take a deep breath and say 'one hundred.'"
Again, Larry did so.
Then she said, "Very good. Now lie on your back with your knees slightly elevated. I will check your prostate with one hand I hold your penis with my other hand. Good. Now take a deep breath and say 'one hundred.'"
Larry said, "One... two... three..."