• A Good Licker!

    One girl was telling a friend over lunch that she had given all her beaus pet names that also served as a secret reminder of their sexual talents.

    As luck would have it, one passed by, and she called out, "Hey, Johnny Walker. How's it going baby?"

    Her friend said, "Say. I happen to know that fellow, and his name is not Johnny Walker at all. Johnny Walker is a liquor."

    "Dammmmnnnn!!! You've broken my code that quickly." said the girl.
  • Naked Ride

    Liana was a beautiful girl. As she was walking through the woods on a hot summers day, the heat became too much for her and she decided to go for a swim. She took off all her clothes, piled them neatly on the side of the riverbank and dove in.

    A couple of young boys came along and decided to steal her clothes.

    Having gotten out of the water and discovered her clothes had been stolen, Liana decided to go to the roadside and hitch a ride home.

    Along came Steve, riding a bicycle. He stopped for Liana, "Come," he said, "I'll ride you into town."

    She jumped on his bicycle and rode in front of him.

    Steve said nothing, but after ten minutes Liana was so overwhelmed at how calm he was that she said, "Tell me, haven't you noticed that I'm completely naked?"

    "Sure," said Steve. "Haven't you noticed that you're riding on a girls bike?"
  • Something Different

    After hearing a couple's complaints that their intimate life wasn't what it used to be, the sex counselor suggested that they vary their positions.

    "For example," he suggested, "you might try the wheel barrel. Lift her legs from behind and off you go."

    The eager husband was all for trying this new idea as soon as they got home.

    "Well, okay," the hesitant wife agreed, "but on two conditions - First, if it hurts, you will stop right away. And second," she continued, "you have to promise we won't go past my mother's house."
  • How Much Calcium is in a Kiss?

    Researchers released a list of foods and activities to help combat osteoporosis, the dread disorder that leaches calcium from the bones as people age.

    The distinguished lead scientist mounts the podium to make his announcement and gives the highlights of the list.

    To no one's surprise, broccoli and cauliflower are there, and the researchers also encourage regular exercise, such as walking, running, cycling or swimming to prevent calcium loss from the bones.

    But, one reporter, reading ahead, shouts from the front row, "You've got kissing on the list as a way to prevent osteoporosis! There isn't any calcium in a kiss!"

    The scientist replied calmly, "In a good kiss, there's enough calcium to make a strong bone about 6 inches long."