• A Contagious Disease

    A pregnant woman went to the gynecologist, and when asked that was the problem, she responded, "Well, whenever I take off my clothes, my nipples get hard."

    Shocked, the doctor took a deep breath, then asked, "Your nipples get hard?"

    "Yes" quite innocently came her reply.

    "Undress so I can check" replied the still amazed doc.

    So, she undressed, and he got down to the feeling and massaging, trying to reach an answer.

    After some considerable time, the doctor, still looked puzzled, said, "Well madame, I don't know what you have, but it sure as hell is contagious!"
  • Insemination Man

    A blond City girl named Amy marries a N. Dakota rancher.

    One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to Amy, "The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today, so I drove a nail into the 2 by 4 just above where the cow's stall is in the barn. Please show him where the cow is when he gets here, OK?"

    The rancher leaves for the fields. After awhile, the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door.

    Amy takes him down to the barn. They walk along the row of cows and when Amy sees the nail, she tells him, "This is the one right here."

    The man, assuming he is dealing with an air head blond, asks, "Tell me lady, 'cause I'm dying to know; how would YOU know that this is the right cow to be bred?"

    "That's simple," she said. "By the nail that's over its stall," she explains very confidently.

    Laughing rudely at her, the man says, "And what, pray tell, is the nail for?"

    The blond turns to walk away and says sweetly over her shoulder, "I guess it's to hang your pants on."
  • Ajeeb Si Bechaini

    Ek Bahut Hi Khubsoorat Ladki Doctor Ke Paas Gayi Aur Boli: Doctor Sahab Mere Ko Ajeeb Si Beemari Hai.

    Doctor: Kya?

    Ladki: Main Jab Bhi Cigrette Peeti Hoon Toh Ajeeb Bechaini Si Hoti Hai. Main Pehla Kash Leti Hoon Toh Apne Shoes Utar Deti Hoon. Doosre Kash Mein Socks. Teesre Kash Mein Shirt Utar Deti Hoon Aur... Isi Tarah Har Kash Ke Saath Kuch Na Kuch Utaar Deti Hun Au Cigarette Khatam Hone Tak Mein Bilkul Ya Almost Nude Hoti Hun. Isi Vajah Se Mein Bahar Kahin Parties Mein, Ya Apne Friends Ke Saath Cigarette Nahin Pee Sakti.

    Docto: Main Nahin Manta Aisi Phaltu Ki Bakwaaas... Aisa Kabhi Hota Hai Kya?

    Ladki: Aap Mera Vishwas Karo Doctor Saab, Mein Ekdum Sach Bol Rahi Hun.

    Doctor Bola: Mujhe Kuch Samajh Nahi Aa Raha. Ek Kaam Karo Ye Lo Cigarette, Aaram Se Piyo Aur Phir Se Apni Problem Batao.
  • Maldives Honeymoon

    Troy, at the advance age of 72, got married and the marriage was the talk of the town. More so, because his bride was only 23. They checked into a beach resort in the Maldives for their honeymoon and the resort was abuzz with gossip.

    Next morning, Troy walks into the resort's dining area looking ever so fresh. He ordered a big breakfast and joked with everyone. When his young bride walked into the dining hall after some time, she looked pale and tired. She ordered some tea and that's all she had. She hardly spoke to anyone.

    Old Troy left the dining room, and the waitress, not wanting to miss the opportunity asked her, "The old man looks so refreshed while you look so fatigued. Is everything all right?`

    The young girl said, "This man took me for a ride. Before our wedding, he told me he had saved up for 40 years. You can't blame me for thinking it was money he meant."