|A waiter was working one night, when a beautiful Blonde was seated in his section. He went over to take her order and saw that she was crying.|
"What is wrong, miss? Are you ok?" he asked.
Wiping tears from her eyes, she looked up at him and said, "My boyfriend just dumped me, and today is my birthday. Nice gift, isn't it?"
The waiter talked with her a few moments and was able to get her to stop crying. He kept a close eye on her, and when she had finished her meal, he went into the kitchen, cut a large slice from the best cake on the menu, and stuck a candle in it. He lit the candle and brought it to her table. She looked very happy, and he was glad. He said, "Make a wish and blow!"
She closed her eyes and made her wish. Then she came up to the waiter, got down on her knees, unzipped his pants, pulled out his cock, and started sucking on it. He had no idea why she was doing this, but she was really into it, sucking away, and playing with his balls. He knew that he should stop her - they did not even know each others names - but hey, when you have got a hot blonde going down on you, are you really going to say, "No, do not do it?"
He stood there, enjoying every moment, and when she made him cum, he exploded inside her mouth, and she swallowed every drop of his huge, hot load. She looked up at him with a smile, and said, "Did you like it?"
He said, "Yes, of course, you do it great, but I am just wondering why you suddenly started sucking my cock?"
She looked confused. "Well, I was just doing what you told me to."
Now he is confused. "What I told you to?"
Smiling, she says, "Don't tell me you forgot already. You said, 'Make a wish and blow!'"
|"Father, yesterday I made love to my wife."|
The priest explained that there was nothing wrong with that.
"But father, I did it with lust!"
Again the priest reassured the man that it was no sin.
"But father, it was in the middle of the day!"
The priest was growing uncomfortable with the description but assured him that it was a natural act for a man and wife.
"But father, it was sheer passion. I followed her around the fridge and as she leaned over the deep freeze I jumped on her and we did it on the floor. Am I banned from the church?"
"Of course not," said the exasperated priest.
"Oh that's good. The manager has banned both of us from the supermarket."
|Jill and Little Johnny were riding down the road and Little Johnny swerved slightly to go past a pretty blonde jogging.|
Jill said, "Did you see her?"
"Well, yeah." said Little Johnny.
"That really gets me. I've never understood that about women. She was wearing a necklace, two bracelets, hoop earrings, her nails were freshly polished with Salerno Mavala nail polish, she'd recently spritzed Chanel behind her ears, and she was wearing Yves Saint Laurent lip gloss!" Jill said.
"You noticed all that?" asked Little Johnny.
"Yes I did. You didn't?" replied Jill.
Little Johnny said, "Not exactly. All I noticed was that she had legs all the way up to her very well rounded cute little butt, a spectacular set of nicely bouncing tits and no wedding ring."
Then Little Johnny had to swerve again to avoid being slapped by an even more upset Jill.
|Little Johnny's father had a brown cow and a white cow and he wanted to get them bred, so he borrowed his neighbor's bull and turned it loose in the pasture. He told Johnny to watch and come in and tell him when the bull was finished.|
"Yeah daddy," said little Johnny.
After a while little Johnny came into the living room where his father was talking with some friends.
"Say, Pop," said little Johnny. "Yes," replied his father. "The bull just fucked the brown cow."
There was a sudden lull in the conversation. The father said "Excuse me" and took little Johnny outside.
"Son, you mustn't use language like that in front of company. You should say 'The bull surprised the brown cow'. Now go and watch and tell me when the bull surprises the white cow."
The father went back inside the house.
After a while little Johnny came in and said, "Hey, Dad." "Yes, son. Did the bull surprise the white cow?"
"He sure did, Pop! He fucked the brown cow again!"