|A blonde is pregnant, and is practically 9 months along. She goes to see her doctor for a routine check-up, but she is worried.|
She asks, "What if the baby starts coming, and I can't get to the hospital in time?"
The doctor replies, "Well, women have been having babies for a million years without a doctor in attendance. It's a very natural process. The first thing you do is to assume the same position you were laying in when you got pregnant."
The blonde interrupts with, "Do you mean with the left foot in the glove compartment and the right foot hanging out the window?"
|The voluptuous blonde was walking down a dimly lit street when a man jumped out of the bushes.|
"Give me your money," he demanded.
"I d-don't have any," she managed to reply.
"Give me your money or I'll search you!" he threatened.
She repeated that she didn't have any, then gasped as he made a tentative search.
"You'd better give me your money now," he said menacingly, "or I'm going to rally search you!"
"But I don't have any!" she protested, almost in tears.
So he really searched her. "I guess you were on the level," he finally muttered angrily.
"You don't have any money on you."
"For heaven's sake," she wailed, "don't stop now. I'll write you a check."
|A tall woman met a midget at a party. The midget was barely three feet tall but they were attracted to each other. After a few drinks they went back to the tall woman's apartment.|
"I can't imagine what it will be like making love to a midget," said the woman, "especially with the size difference and all."
"Just take off your cloths, lie back on the bed, spread your legs apart and close your eyes," said the midget.
The woman did as she was told and soon she felt the biggest thing she'd ever experienced inside her.
Within a few minutes the woman had climaxed eight times. "If you think that was good," said the midget with a smirk, "Just wait till I get BOTH legs in there!"
|One night a man heard howls coming from his basement and went down to discover a female cat having sex with a mouse.|
Fascinated by what he saw, the man gained the mouse's confidence with some cheese and then took him next door. The mouse repeated his amazing performance by doing the German Shepherd.
The man, very excited by this, was dying to show someone his discovery.
He rushed home and woke up his wife but before he could explain, she saw the mouse, screamed, and covered her head with the blanket.
"Don't be afraid, darling," said the man. "Wait until I tell you about this."
"Get out of here!" cried his wife. "And take that sex maniac with you!"