• The Hungover Lineman

    The telephone lineman had been out drinking the night before, and the next day he went to work not feeling too good. He climbed to the top of the first pole and as he took his pliers out to repair the wire he dropped them.

    He had to climb all the way down to retrieve them.

    As he got to the bottom of the pole and was picking up his pliers, a small boy who was standing there said, `My daddy is a lineman, too, and he would have had two pair of pliers, so he wouldn't have to climb down the pole if he dropped one of them."

    The lineman tied to ignore the boy and climbed back up the pole very slowly.

    About this time he needed a hammer to drive in a large nail. As he was taking it out, it slipped and fell to the ground. Again he had to climb down the pole to retrieve it.

    So he slowly climbed down the pole and sure enough the little boy was still standing there. He said, "My daddy is a lineman, too, and he would have carried two hammers so if he had lost one he wouldn't have to climb down."

    This irritated the lineman, but he ignored the boy and climbed back up the pole to finish his work. He was no sooner up the pole when he had to go to the bathroom, so down he climbs from the pole and goes over to the bushes to take a leak.

    As he was relieving himself he saw the little boy watching him through the bushes.

    He'd had it with this kid so he says to him, "I'll bet your dad doesn't have two of these, does he?"

    The boy replied, "No, but his would make two of yours."
  • How Does Pregnancy Happen?

    A mom of an 8-year-old boy was awaiting her son's arrival from school. As he ran in, he said he needed to talk to her about making babies. He claimed he knew about the development of a fetus but didn't understand the answer to that million dollar question... Namely, how did the sperm get into the woman?'

    The mom asked the boy what he thought the answer was.

    The boy said that the sperm is manufactured in the man's stomach, it rises up to his chest, then throat, and into his mouth whereupon he kisses the woman and deposits the sperm into her mouth.

    The mom told her boy that that was a good guess, but wrong. She said that she would give him a hint... that the sperm came out of the man's penis.

    Suddenly, the boy's face became quite red and he said, "YOU MEAN YOU PUT YOUR MOUTH ON THAT THING!?"
  • Dinner Prayer!!!

    A Christian family, comprising mom, dad and daughter were sitting around the dinner table with the reverend of their church as their honored guest.

    The mom told her daughter to start off the prayer so they can start eating dinner already.

    The daughter hesitated, "But Mom!"

    After her mom gave her an encouraging look, she started the prayer.

    She started moaning and groaning, as if she's having an orgasm. She was also screaming, "Oooh, God! Ooooh, Jimmy! Oooh, God! Jimmy! Oh God, oh God!"

    All of a sudden, her mother stopped her.

    "What's gotten into you?"

    She seemed embarrassed and surprised.

    The daughter then said to her mother, "What? That's what I hear when you pray!"
  • A Million Dollar Question

    A mom of an 8-year-old boy was awaiting her son's arrival from school. As he ran in, he said he needed to talk to her about making babies.

    He claimed he knew about the development of a fetus but didn't understand the answer to that "million dollar question." Namely, how did the sperm get into the woman?

    The mom asked the boy what he thought the answer was.

    The boy said that the sperm is manufactured in the man's stomach, it rises up to his chest, then throat, and into his mouth whereupon he kisses the woman and deposits the sperm into her mouth.

    The mom told her boy that that was a good guess, but wrong. She said that she would give him a hint... that the sperm came out of the man's penis.

    Suddenly, the boy's face became quite red and he said, "YOU MEAN YOU PUT YOUR MOUTH ON THAT THING!?"