• Dinner Prayer!!!

    A Christian family, comprising mom, dad and daughter were sitting around the dinner table with the reverend of their church as their honored guest.

    The mom told her daughter to start off the prayer so they can start eating dinner already.

    The daughter hesitated, "But Mom!"

    After her mom gave her an encouraging look, she started the prayer.

    She started moaning and groaning, as if she's having an orgasm. She was also screaming, "Oooh, God! Ooooh, Jimmy! Oooh, God! Jimmy! Oh God, oh God!"

    All of a sudden, her mother stopped her.

    "What's gotten into you?"

    She seemed embarrassed and surprised.

    The daughter then said to her mother, "What? That's what I hear when you pray!"
  • A Million Dollar Question

    A mom of an 8-year-old boy was awaiting her son's arrival from school. As he ran in, he said he needed to talk to her about making babies.

    He claimed he knew about the development of a fetus but didn't understand the answer to that "million dollar question." Namely, how did the sperm get into the woman?

    The mom asked the boy what he thought the answer was.

    The boy said that the sperm is manufactured in the man's stomach, it rises up to his chest, then throat, and into his mouth whereupon he kisses the woman and deposits the sperm into her mouth.

    The mom told her boy that that was a good guess, but wrong. She said that she would give him a hint... that the sperm came out of the man's penis.

    Suddenly, the boy's face became quite red and he said, "YOU MEAN YOU PUT YOUR MOUTH ON THAT THING!?"
  • Itchy & Scratchy

    A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention.

    She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy.

    The teacher told him to go down to the principal's office. He was to telephone his mother and ask her what he should do about it. He did it and returned to his class.

    Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room. She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out.

    "I thought I told you to call your mom!" she said.

    "I did," he said, "And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me up from school."
  • Tonsillectomy and Circumcision

    A young boy of four was going into hospital to have his tonsils removed. He told his playmate, "I'll be gone for awhile I have to have surgery."

    On the day he was admitted his mother asked if the doctor could also circumcise the boy while he was asleep.

    The doctor agreed. The boy woke up and was very sore down there for several days.

    After about a week he got to see his playmate again. The playmate informed him that he was also going to have to have his tonsils out soon. He asked him to tell him about the surgery.

    The little boy replied, "All I can tell you is your tonsils ain't where you think they are."
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