• First Come, First Served

    A waitress walks up to one of her tables in a New York City restaurant and notices that the three Japanese businessmen seated there are furiously masturbating.

    She yells, "What the hell do you guys think you are doing?"

    One of the Japanese men explains, "Can't you see? We are all berry hungry."

    The waitress begs the question, "So, how is whacking-off in the middle of the restaurant going to help that situation?"

    One of the other Japanese men replies, "The menu say FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED!"
  • Conceiving Issues?

    Two women were sitting in the doctor's waiting room comparing notes on their various disorders.

    "I want a baby more than anything in the world," said the first, "but I guess it is impossible."

    "I used to feel just the same way," said the second. "But then everything changed. That's why I'm here. I'm going to have a baby in three months."

    "You must tell me what you did."

    "I went to a faith healer."

    "But I've tried that. My husband and I went to one for nearly a year and it didn't help a bit."

    The other woman smiled and whispered, "Try going alone, next time, dearie."
  • Running or Fucking?

    Doing any kind of exercise is excellent for your health. But, for those who still have doubts when choosing, here you will find 7 good reasons to decide between Running or Fucking.

    1. When you run, you usually go alone. If you go with someone you just want to run faster than the other.
    Fucking? No. You always try to reach the goal together.
    Therefore, fuck "Develops teamwork and avoids selfishness."

    2. To run you have to buy a lot of clothes that, normally, is quite expensive. However, to fuck, just take off the one you're wearing.
    As you can see, fucking "encourages saving, and avoids consumerism".

    3. To run you have to get out of bed.
    To fuck, its the opposite.
    We all know that bed is better than nowhere. Therefore while fucking, "We exercise while we are, where we are best".

    4. Running requires great effort and gives little pleasure.
    Fucking gives enormous pleasure and the effort is minimal.
    So while fucking, we experience how to, "Make the most of it with the minimum effort".

    5. After running, you end up exhausted and your knees and legs hurt.
    However, after fucking, you have a smile from ear to ear!
    It is clear that through fucking "we discover the joy of living."

    6. If they call you to run, you will almost never go.
    Now, if they call you to fuck? Ahhhhhhhh! ... Right ?!!!. You will reach on time.
    It is clear, fuck "increases punctuality."

    7. Another very important reason is that after running you do not feel like repeating the race.
    But, after fucking, you want to repeat again. Yes or no?!!!
    So, through fucking we achieve "true interest in what is done and promotes the value of perseverance."

    So the winner is a 'Fuck' anytime!

    Share it with 10 people and you will be blessed with a nice fuck! ... If you do not do it, you will keep running like mad and feel 'what the fuck'!
  • Occupational Hazard

    Three men are on a road trip when they pull over to stay at a hotel that they see. They go in and see the lady who apparently runs the joint and they ask her for a vacant room.

    She replied, "Sure, but only if you DON'T go into the basement!"

    The men agree and she gives them a room.
    That night, the men are so curious that they sneak into the basement... only to find that it's full of chopped off dicks!! The woman that runs the places sees them and says, "Okay, now I'm going to have to add you all to my collection."

    She asks the first man, "What does YOUR father do for a living?"

    He says, "Well, my dad is in the lawn-mowing business."

    So the woman finds a lawnmower and off goes his dick.

    The woman asks the second man, "What does YOUR father do for a living?"

    He replies in tears, "My dad is in the tool supply industry."

    So she finds a saw and off does his dick.

    The woman then turns to the third guy only to see that he is laughing hysterically!

    "Why the hell are you laughing?!? Don't you know what's going to happen to you!?!"

    He smiles and says, "Yeah, my dad is in the lollipop business - you're gonna hafta suck mine off!"