• No Longer Possible

    An old man is walking in Amsterdam and passes a hooker standing at her door. She says to him, "Hey Granddad, why don't we give it a try?"

    He says, "No thank you. That is no longer possible for me."

    It was a slow night, so the hooker says, "Oh, come on, what have we got to lose; let's give it a try."

    So, they both go inside and he acts like the young man he used to be.

    "Oh my goodness," says the hooker breathlessly afterward, "I thought you said sex was no longer possible for you."

    Says the old man, "Oh, my body is still highly capable; it's the paying that is no longer possible."
  • BJ for Sore Throat

    "You don't look so good today, Bambi," said Barbie.

    "You're right," said Bambi. "I feel like I'm coming down with something. My throat really hurts."

    Barbie suggested, "You know, whenever I have a sore throat I give my husband oral sex and the next day I feel great."

    Bambi carefully considered this. The next day Barbie noticed that Bambi looked better.

    "You look much better today. Did you take my suggestion?"

    Bambi replied, "I sure did. It worked great. And your husband just couldn't believe that it was your idea!"
  • A Hot Thai Nurse

    After experiencing the discomfort and embarrassment of a prostate test on the National Health Service in the UK, a friend of mine decided to have his next test carried out while visiting Thailand where the beautiful nurses are rather more gentle and accommodating.

    As usual he was asked to strip off, he lay naked on his side on the bed and the nurse began the examination.

    "At this stage of the procedure it's quite normal to get an erection" said the nurse.

    "I haven't got an erection" said the man.

    "No, but I have" replied the nurse.
  • Making Out in BMW

    A couple were making love in a 5 Series BMW when the bloke's back seized up. The ambulance men were afraid to move him in case of serious damage to his spine. So the police decided to use the 'jaws of life'.

    They simply cut the entire top of the car off so the patient could be safely lifted out without bending.

    When the ambulance departed the girl sat weeping beside the abbreviated 5 Series BMW.

    Feeling sorry for her, a cop patted her on the shoulder. "He'll be all right," he reassured her.

    The girl rounded on him savagely, "Oh, sod him," she exclaimed. "How am I going to explain to my husband what happened to his BMW?"