• Three Italian Nuns

    At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter.

    He says, "Sisters, you all led such exemplary lives that the Lord is granting you six months to go back to earth and be anyone you wish to be The first nun says, "I want to be Sunny Leone..." and *poof* she's gone.

    The second says, "I want to be Madonna and *poof* she's gone.

    The third says, "I want to be Sara Pipalini..."

    St. Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he asked.

    "Sara Pipalini," replies the nun.

    St Peter shakes his head and says, "I'm sorry, but that name just doesn't ring a bell."

    The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter. St. Peter reads the paper and starts laughing.

    He hands it back to her and says, "No sister, the paper says it was the 'Sahara Pipeline' that was laid by 1,400 men in 6 months."
  • Dating an Intellectual

    Two hot young ladies are talking one afternoon about the weekend just past. The first named Faba, and the second, Mujo, discussed Faba's last date.

    "You know what Mujo, I was out last night with an intellectual type." Faba declared.

    "What's that? What's do you mean intellectual type?" Mujo asked with curiosity.

    "Well, I mean I was dating a man who is very intellectual and intelligent," explained Faba to her friend.

    Mujo giggles, and asked, "So, how was it?"

    "First, he took me to dinner. Then he took me to a cinema movie. And then he took me out for a drive. After all that, he took me to his house. He began an intellectual conversation. And finally, he took out his penis."

    "What is this word, 'penis'," Mujo asked, unfamiliar with the clinical terminology.

    "Oh, it is what intellectuals have. It looks like a dick, just much smaller!"
  • On-Board Facilities

    A Priest was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London.

    After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him.

    The flight attendant then asked the Priest if he would like a drink.

    He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips."

    The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me, too, I didn't know we had a choice."
  • The Empty Store

    Two businessmen were taking a break while setting up their soon-to-open store's shelving units. There they sat, in the middle of nothing but empty shelves.

    One said, "I bet any minute now some smart aleck will stick his head in the door and ask what we're selling."
    Within minutes, a man did just that, "Hey, boys. Whacha sellin'?"

    One businessmen responded sarcastically, "We're selling a$$holes."

    Without missing a beat, he rejoined, "Looks like business is good; ya only got two left!"