• Little Johnny's Big Answer

    The teacher asked the class to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence.

    Molly put up her hand and said, "My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating."

    The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate,' not 'fascinating'."

    Sally raised her hand. She said, "My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated."

    The teacher said, "Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate'."

    Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word "fascinate," so she called on him.

    Little Johnny said, "My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her boobs are so big she can only fasten eight!"

    The teacher sat down and cried.....
  • Go Forth and Multiply

    Mrs. Johnson, the elementary school math teacher, was having children do problems on the blackboard that day.

    "Who would like to do the first problem, addition?"

    No one raised their hand. She called on Tommy, and with some help he finally got it right.

    "Who would like to do the second problem, subtraction?"

    Students hid their faces. She called on Mark, who got the problem but there was some suspicion his girlfriend Lisa whispered it to him.

    "Who would like to do the third problem, division?"

    Now a low collective groan could be heard as everyone looked at nothing in particular. The teacher called on Suzy, who got it right.

    "Who would like to do the last problem, multiplication?"

    Johnny's hand shot up, surprising everyone in the room.

    Mrs. Johnson finally gained her composure in the stunned silence. "Why the enthusiasm, Johnny?"

    "Because the Bible says to go fourth and multiply, and if you let me have three of those girls, I'll be fourth and multiply them."
  • Undeveloped Organ

    Little Johnny was in trouble again. He was charged with the rape of a grown woman, and all though the crime seemed highly improbable, the state's evidence was overwhelming.

    As a last desperate move, the defense counsel came over to the witness stand, pulled down Little Johnny's pants, and grabbed the boy's tiny penis for all to see.

    "Ladies and gentlemen," the lawyer cried turning toward the jury box. "Surely you cannot believe that such a small still undeveloped organ is sexually mature? "

    Growing more agitated he went on, "How could this miniature member be capable even of erection, let alone the rape of a fully grown woman."

    Watch it, whispered Little Johnny. "One more shake and you'll lose the case!"
  • You've Got Some Nerve!

    One day while Little Johnny's dad was just getting out of the shower Johnny looked down and said, "Dad what's that?"

    "Oh Johnny that's my nerve and your's will be like this one of these days," replies Johnny's dad.

    Anyway the next day while in school Little Johnny really had to pee so he raised his hand and said, "Miss I really need to go to the bathroom."

    "No, not yet there's someone gone", says his teacher.

    Not able to hold it in Little Johnny walks to the garbage can and starts to pee.

    Surprised to see her student peeing in a garbage can with his back to the class, the teacher says, "My Johnny you have some nerve!"

    Little Johnny says, "That's nothing you should see my fathers."