|Little Johnny was sitting in class one day when he asked his teacher a question, "Please Miss," he said, "What's a Penis?"|
The teacher thought it was an excellent question so she told the whole class that it would be their homework for the night. When little Johnny got home he immediately went to his father and asked him what a penis is. His father undid his trousers and said: "Look son, that's a penis."
Johnny was very pleased that it had been so easy to do his homework.
The next morning, on his way to school he met Mary but she was in floods of tears.
"Why are you crying?" he asked.
"Well I wasn't able to do my homework," she sobbed. "Nobody would tell me what a penis is."
"OK, I'll help you," said little Johnny. As he undid his trousers he said to Mary, "Look, you see this. Well, this is a Dick. A penis is the same but a few inches shorter! If you ever need one, or want to play with one, just let me know."
|The teacher asked the class to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence.|
Molly put up her hand and said, "My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating."
The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate,' not 'fascinating'."
Sally raised her hand. She said, "My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated."
The teacher said, "Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate'."
Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word "fascinate," so she called on him.
Little Johnny said, "My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her boobs are so big she can only fasten eight!"
The teacher sat down and cried.....
|Mrs. Johnson, the elementary school math teacher, was having children do problems on the blackboard that day.|
"Who would like to do the first problem, addition?"
No one raised their hand. She called on Tommy, and with some help he finally got it right.
"Who would like to do the second problem, subtraction?"
Students hid their faces. She called on Mark, who got the problem but there was some suspicion his girlfriend Lisa whispered it to him.
"Who would like to do the third problem, division?"
Now a low collective groan could be heard as everyone looked at nothing in particular. The teacher called on Suzy, who got it right.
"Who would like to do the last problem, multiplication?"
Johnny's hand shot up, surprising everyone in the room.
Mrs. Johnson finally gained her composure in the stunned silence. "Why the enthusiasm, Johnny?"
"Because the Bible says to go fourth and multiply, and if you let me have three of those girls, I'll be fourth and multiply them."
|Little Johnny was in trouble again. He was charged with the rape of a grown woman, and all though the crime seemed highly improbable, the state's evidence was overwhelming.|
As a last desperate move, the defense counsel came over to the witness stand, pulled down Little Johnny's pants, and grabbed the boy's tiny penis for all to see.
"Ladies and gentlemen," the lawyer cried turning toward the jury box. "Surely you cannot believe that such a small still undeveloped organ is sexually mature? "
Growing more agitated he went on, "How could this miniature member be capable even of erection, let alone the rape of a fully grown woman."
Watch it, whispered Little Johnny. "One more shake and you'll lose the case!"