• Erectile Dysfunction

    Husband: I must say that you are very pretty to be a waitress. Can I know your name please...?

    Waitress: That is very nice of you, sir. My name is Isabella.

    Husband: Nice name...!

    Wife: Honey, why don't you tell her about the erectile dysfunction that you suffer from?

    Husband: Right, honey...! I don't know how I forgot my manners.

    Wife: Happens...!

    Husband: Isabella, let me introduce you to the erectile dysfunction that I suffer from. This is my wife Julie.
  • Help With Counting Money

    Patel: Remove your clothes.

    Wife: Why Remove my clothes?

    Patel: Just do and come beside me on the bed.

    Wife: Okay they are off.

    Patel: Nice sweetie. What about your bra and panties? Remove them also.

    Wife: Please I am not in the mood.

    Patel: Just remove your panties and bra and stop all this your everyday 'not in the mood story'!

    Wife: Okay they are off. What's next?

    Patel: I just want you to help me count my money. Every time you help me count the money while your clothes are on, I always find shortages!!!
  • Eye Colour

    A man was talking to his friend at the bar.

    The friend said, "Did you know that 9 out of 10 women with brown eyes cheat on their husbands?"

    "No, I didn't know that," The man replied.

    "So what color are your wife's eyes?" asked the friend.

    The man replied, "I'm too drunk to remember. Geez, I better go home and find out."

    So the man hurries home to find his wife in bed and asleep. The man carefully lifts his wife's eyelid and exclaims, "Oh my God! Brown!"

    Suddenly, another man pops out from under the covers and exclaims, "How did you know I was here?"
  • New Shoes

    An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, moved to Texas.

    Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home.

    Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?"

    Margaret looked him over, "Nope."

    Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots.

    Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, "Notice anything different NOW?"

    Margaret looked up and exclaimed, "Bert, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow!"

    Furious, Bert yelled, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?"

    "Nope," she replied.

    "IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!"

    Without changing her expression, Margaret replied, "Shoulda bought a hat, Bert. Shoulda bought a hat."