• Choosing a Virgin For a Wife

    George has decided to get married, but not just to anybody. He wants to marry a virgin, a good girl that hasn't fooled around and won't ever. After a bit of thinking, he makes up this scheme to tell "good girls" from "bad girls".

    One day, as he's going down the street, he spots Janice, one of the three young women on his "eligible" list. He walks right up to her, pulls down his pants and flashes her.

    "Well, Janice," he said, "what do you reckon this is?"

    "Why, it's a dick, of course," replies Janice instantly.

    Obviously, Janice has been with men before, thinks George, and he cuts her off the list.

    Next on the list is Christine. After finding her, he goes on and flashes her too.

    "Tell me, Christine, what do you think this is?"

    "It's your dick, George," answers Christine.

    Off the list goes Christine.

    His final hope is in Mary. He finds her and proceeds to the flashing.

    "Mary, what do you think this is?" asks George.

    Mary looks at his dick for a whole minute, then finally answers, "I honestly don't know, George, I'm sorry."

    "ARE YOU SURE?" asks George again, unbelieving. "Here, study it all you want, just be sure."

    Mary takes her time and studies George's organ for a full quarter of an hour.

    "Sorry, George, I still can't tell what it could possibly be."

    George is thrilled, and proposes to her. A few weeks later, they are married. It's their first night together. They both go to bed, naked, and George feels it's time to explain a few things to his wife.

    "Mary, I'm going to learn you something very important. See this thing here, between my legs. That's a dick."

    "THAT is a dick?" gasps Mary. "You should see John's!"
  • Virgin Wife

    One of my co-workers is quite graphic about his sexual powers. When he recently got married he took a lot of good natured ribbing from co-workers, but one of the funniest things I heard was when he was asked by another guy in the office, "Well Casanova how many times did you make love to your new bride on your wedding night?"

    Delighted to be given an opportunity to brag, he beamed and proceeded to not only tell how many times, but also how many ways.

    When he finally finished he suddenly remembered that the guy who asked had just recently gotten married himself.

    He asked, "Say, now that you mention it, how about you? How many times did you manage on your wedding night?"

    "Just once", said the grinning man, "My wife wasn't used to it"
  • Long and Stiff!

    A honeymoon couple had booked a sleeper berth for their trip. However when boarding the train, they found their berths were both upper berths on opposite sides of the compartment.

    During the night, the groom, feeling amorous, whispered across to his bride, "Come across here darling."

    She whispered back, "How can I get across."

    The groom said, "I have something stiff you could crawl across on."

    A voice from the lower berth asked with a chuckle, "How's she going to get back?"
  • Cook My Sock...

    A man gets up one morning to find his wife already in the kitchen cooking. He looks to see what she's cooking, and sees one of his socks in the frying pan.

    "What are you doing?" he asks.

    "I'm doing what you asked me to do last night when you came to bed very drunk," she replied.

    Completely puzzled, the man walks away thinking to himself, "I don't remember asking her to cook my sock..."