• Shooting Dogs

    A young man from the city went to visit his farmer uncle. For the first few days, the uncle showed him the usual things... chickens, cows, crops, etc. After three days, however, it was obvious that the nephew was getting bored, and the uncle was running out of things to amuse him with.

    Finally, the uncle had an idea. "Why don't you grab a gun, take the dogs, and go out shooting?"

    This seemed to cheer the nephew up, and with enthusiasm, off he went, dogs in trail.

    After a few hours, the nephew returned.

    "How did you enjoy that?" asked the uncle.

    "It was great!" exclaimed the nephew. "Got any more dogs"
  • iBitch Activated!

    March was when my son celebrated his 15th birthday and I got him an iPhone. He just loved it. Who wouldn't?

    I celebrated my birthday in July and my wife made me very happy when she bought me an iPad.

    My daughter's birthday was in August so I got her an iPod Touch.

    September came by, so for my wife's birthday I bought her an iRon.

    It was around then that the fight started. What my wife failed to recognize is that the iRon can be integrated into the home network with the iWash, iCook and iClean. This unfortunately activated the iBitch.

    Which led me to the iHospital and iGet out Thursday.
  • Empty Swimming Pool

    A very wealthy entrepreneur named John retired to the countryside. On one of his long walks, he passed a Mental Institution, and behind the chain link fence, he saw the patients fighting ferociously with each other.

    Hailing a man standing close to the fence, John asked what was going on.

    The man replied, "This happens every day; there's nothing else to do."

    So John went to see the director and offered to install a swimming pool at his expense. The director was very happy with the offer and accepted immediately.

    Ten days later, John received a phone call from the director, requesting his presence the following day for the grand opening. Pleased, John accepted. He than decided to take a stroll out to the Institution to see how well the pool had been built.

    As he approached the fence, he heard laughing and exited voices. A few yards later, he had a full view of a beautiful pool, complete with high tower diving boards, for which the patients were lining up to do cannonballs and swan dives.

    Calling the same man at the fence, John said, "You guys like this, huh? I see no more fighting, isn't this fun?"

    The man replied, "Sure is, Mister, but tomorrow it'll be even more fun when they put the water in it."
  • Great Husband

    Jenny was married to a male chauvinist. They both worked full time, but he never did anything around the house and certainly not any housework. That, he declared, was woman's work!

    But one evening Jenny arrived home from work to find the children bathed, a load of wash in the washing machine and another in the dryer, dinner on the stove and a beautifully set table, complete with flowers. She was astonished, and she immediately wanted to know what was going on.

    It turned out that Charley, her husband, had read a magazine article that suggested working wives would be more romantically inclined if they weren't so tired from having to do all the housework, in addition to holding down a full-time job.

    The next day, she couldn't wait to tell her girlfriends at the office.

    "How did it work out?" they asked. "Well, it was a great dinner, Jenny said. "Charley even cleaned up, helped the kids with their homework, folded the laundry and put everything away."

    "I really enjoyed my evening," she went on to say.

    "But what about afterward?" her friends wanted to know.

    "It didn't work out," Jenny said. "Charley was too tired."