• A Tricky Question

    A man is sitting on his front stoop staring morosely at the ground when his neighbor strolls over. The neighbor tries to start a conversation several times, but the older man barely responds. Finally, the neighbor asks what the problem is.

    "Well," the man says, "I ran afoul of one of those questions women ask. Now I'm in the doghouse."

    "What kind of question?" the neighbor asks.

    "My wife asked me if I would still love her when she was old, fat and ugly."

    "That's easy," says the neighbor. "You just say, 'Of course I will'."

    "Yeah," says the other man, "that's what I MEANT to say. But what came OUT was, 'Of course I do'."
  • The First Date

    A guy walks into a bookstore, not looking for anything in particular. On his way to the back of the store, he spots something of interest.

    A book with a very interesting title, "Dating for the New Millennium. What Women Want." So, he picks it up and opens it to a random page.

    "Chapter 1: The First Date."
    He glances the chapter over for a few minutes and then rushes out of the bookstore to call a girl he's wanted to ask out for quite awhile. When he gets home, he picks up the phone and calls her. She answers, "Hello?"

    He says, "Hi, Jessica. Listen, I was wondering if you would want to go see a movie with me tonight?"

    She says, "Sure, I don't see anything wrong with that."

    He gets excited. He thought she'd say no way, but she didn't. So, he decided to take it one step further. He asks, "Great, well how about dinner before the movie?" She replies, `Sure, that would be great too!` `Fine, I'll pick you up about nine. You should be finished eating by then.`
  • Always Listen to Your Mom

    Son: Daddy, I've a small doubt!

    Dad: Bolo Na Beta.

    Son: Daddy, I learned that Shri Ram became GOD by listening to his Dad in SATYA YUGA. Prahlad became great by Not listening to his Dad in TRETA YUG. Please clarify Should I listen to you or not?

    Dad: My dear Son... In Kali Yuga, It is Good for both of us to listen to your Mother to have a Normal life.
  • Winnie The Pooh

    Winnie The Pooh
    A little girl walks in to the living room one Sunday morning while her Dad is reading the paper.

    "Where does poo come from?" she asks.

    The father feeling a little perturbed that his 5 year old daughter is already asking difficult questions thinks for a moment and says, "Well you know we just ate breakfast?"

    "Yes," answers the girl.

    "Well the food goes into our tummies and our bodies take out all the good stuff, and then whatever is left over comes out of our butts when we go to the toilet, and that is poo."

    The little girl looks shocked, and stares at him in stunned silence for a few seconds before asking:
    "And Tigger?"