• Acquired Intelligence

    A blonde girl wants to know what life is like as a brunette girl, so she goes to the hairdresser and has her hair died brown.

    Eager to show the world her newly acquired intelligence, she goes on a walk and meets a shepherd. She walks towards him and says, "If I can guess how many sheep you have in your pack, can I have one?"

    "Fair deal," the shepherd says and the blonde guesses '457'.

    The shepherd, really surprised about the ability of the girl, says, "A deal is a deal, you guessed the right number, pick a sheep and you can keep it."

    After the girl has picked her favourite of the pack, the shepherd says, "If I can guess, which colour your hair had before you dyed it brown, can I get my dog back?"
  • Nothing to Worry About

    While cruising at 40,000 feet, the airplane shuddered and Mr. Benson looked out the window.

    "Good lord!" he screamed, "one of the engines just blew up!"

    Other passengers left their seats and came running over; suddenly the aircraft was rocked by a second blast as yet another engine exploded on the other side.

    The passengers were in a panic now, and even the stewardesses couldn't maintain order. Just then, standing tall and smiling confidently, the pilot strode from the cockpit and assured everyone that there was nothing to worry about.

    His words and his demeanor seemed made most of the passengers feel better, and they sat down as the pilot calmly walked to the door of the aircraft. There, he grabbed several packages from under the seats and began handing them to the flight attendants. Each crew member attached the package to their backs.

    "Say," spoke up an alert passenger, "aren't those parachutes?"

    The pilot said they were.

    The passenger went on, "But I thought you said there was nothing to worry about?"

    "There isn't," replied the pilot as a third engine exploded. "We're going to get help."
  • How to Fly an Aeroplane

    One day an aeroplane cleaner was cleaning the pilots' cockpit when he saw a book entitled: How to Fly an Aeroplane? For Beginners - Volume One

    He opened the first page which said: To start the engine, press the red button. He did so and the airplane engine started.

    He was happy and opened the next page: To set airplane moving press the blue button.

    He did so and the aeroplane started moving at an amazing speed.

    He wanted to fly so he opened the third page which read - To let the aeroplane fly, please press the green button.

    He did this and the plane started to fly.

    He was excited!!!

    After 20 minutes of flying, he was satisfied and wanted to land so he decided to go to the fourth page.

    He fainted after reading the instruction....

    The fourth page read: To learn how to land, please purchase Volume Two at the nearest bookshop!!!
  • Old Men Are Not Stupid

    A Girl was with her father when she saw her Boyfriend coming:

    Girl: Have you come to collect the book titled "DADDY IS AT HOME?" by O Pamuk

    Boy: No, I want that book of hymns called "WHERE SHOULD I WAIT FORYOU?"

    Girl: I don't have that one but may be you should take the other one titled "UNDER THE MANGO TREE" Girish K

    Boy: Fine, but don't forget to bring the new Retail Management guide "CALL YOU IN 5 MINUTES" while coming to school.

    Girl: I will also bring you a new one titled"I WON'T LET YOU DOWN" by C. Bhagat

    Dad: Those books are too many, will he read them all?

    Girl: Yes Dad, he is very smart & intelligent.

    Dad: Okay don't forget to give him the one on the table titled "OLD MEN ARE NOT STUPID" by Robin Sharma!