Jokes

Smith went on a date in a brand new Range Rovers Sport ride with his new girlfriend of 1 month....

Smith: I have been hiding a secret from you and I think you'll break up with me if I tell you the truth.

Girl : What is that my love ?

Smith: Am already married and have 3 kids....

Girl: (Pat him on the lap and hissed) You scared a Hell out of me... I thought you wanted to say this beautiful car is not yours....

Teacher: What is the name of the capital city of Punjab ?

Pappu: Amritsar.

Teacher: Pappu, you are wrong, you need to focus more on your studies.

Pappu: Please madam, can I ask you a few questions.

Teacher: Yes, go ahead.

Pappu: Do you know Jeeto ?

Teacher: No.

Pappu: Do you know Preeto ?

Teacher: No.

Pappu: Do you know Banto?

Teacher: (Angry) Hell no! Who are all these people and why do you ask ?

Pappu: Teacher, you need to Focus more on your husband.

Santa was a slow worker and found it difficult to hold down a job. After a visit to the job center he was offered work at the local Zoo.

When he arrived for his first day, the keeper aware of his reputation told him to take care of the tortoise section.

Later, the keeper dropped by to see how Santa was getting on and found him standing by an empty enclosure.

"Where are the tortoises?" he asked him.

"I can't believe it," said Santa. "I just opened the door and then.....Whooooosh!"

The Jealous husband: My wife, where are you?

Wife: At home love.

Husband: Are you sure?

Wife: Yes.

Husband : Turn on the blender

Wife: (turns blender on) Rrrreeereeeereeee...

Husband: Ok my love goodbye.

Another day...

Jealous husband: My wife, where are you?

Wife: At home love. Husband: Are you sure?

Wife: Yes.

Husband: Turn on the blender.

Wife: (turns blender on) Rrreeereeeereeee...

Husband: Ok my love goodbye. The next day, the husband decides to go home without notice, and finds his son alone and he asked him, "Son where is your mother?"

Son: "I do not know, she went out with blender...