Jokes

New
Universal Jokes > Jokes
Page: 1
Four Aces!

It was during the World War II. The army transport was several days out of New York, and running without lights in the submarine zone.

Some of the fellows were having a little sociable game of poker. In the midst of some friendly kicking and re-kicking, there was a mighty impact against the boat.

All was quiet for a moment and then a voice rang out: "We Are Torpedoed!"

All the card players but one jumped to their feet.

"Hold on, fellows !" shouted the one who remained seated. "You cannot leave me now, I've got four Aces !!!"

Seedhe Shabdon Mein!

Aamir: Smiling...

Teacher: Aap muskura kyon rahe ho?

Aamir: Bahut dino se FB page ka admin banne ki ichcha thi aaj ban gaya hun, bahut maza aa raha hai.

Teacher: Jyada maze lene ki zarurat nahi hai. Ok tell me what is a post?

Aamir: Anything that is posted on facebook is a post sir.
Teacher: Can you please elaborate?

Aamir: Sir, jo bhi facebook pe log daalte hain wo post hai sir... ghumne gaye, uski photo daal diya!!! Post hai sir. Sir actually hum post se ghire hue hain!!! Katrina ki pic se Ronaldo ki kick tak!!! Sab post hai sir!!! Ek second mein comment, ek second mein like!!! Comment-Like, Comment-like....

Teacher: Shut up! ADMIN banke ye karoge??? Comment-like, comment-like. Chatur tum batao?

Chatur: Pictures, texts or Videos posted through Mobile or Tablet or laptop or desktop via different operating system using internet on facebook is called a post.

Teacher: Excellent!

Aamir: Per sir, maine bhi toh ye hi kaha lekin seedhe shabdon mein.

Teacher: Seedhe shabdon me karna hai toh kisi aur page ke admin bano.

Aamir: Par sir dusre admin bhi toh...

Teacher: Get out!

Aamir: Kya Sir ?

Teacher: Seedhe shabdon mein kahun toh bahar jayiye.

Aamir goes out and comes back.

Teacher: Kya hua?

Aamir: Kuch bhool gaya tha sir.

Teacher: Kya?

Aamir: An utility button given to us to protect our private data i.e. pictures, messages or personal information for being stolen or used for bad purpose by hackers or anyone else.

Teacher: Kehna kya chahte ho???

Aamir: Logout sir!!! Logout karna bhool gaya tha.

Teacher: Seedha seedha nahi bol sakte the?

Aamir: Sir, thodi der pehle try kiya tha but aapko pasand nahi aaya !!!

Different Girl!

The soldier asked for a furlough, so that he might get married.

"How long have you known the Girl?" His superior asked.

"A Week."

"Why, my lad, that is hardly long enough. I suggest that you wait a couple of months, and then, if you still want to get married, I shall grant you a furlough."

In two months the soldier was back, reminding his superior of his promise.

"So you still want to get married? My, My ! I did not suppose that a young man would stay interested in the same girl for such a long time nowadays."

"I know, sir. But it is not the same girl, sir."

Shaadi Ke Baad...

Shaadi Ke baad Patni Kaise badalti hai... Zara gaur kijiye...

Pehle Saal: Maine kaha ji, khana kha lijiye, aapne kaafi der se kuchh khaya nahin!

Dusre Saal: Ji, khana taiyaar hai, laga dun?

Teesre Saal: Khana ban chuka hai, jab khana ho tab bata dena...!

Chauthe Saal: Khana banakar rakh diya hai, main bazaar ja rahi hoon, jhud hi nikal kar kha lena.

Paanchve Saal: Main kehti hoon, aaj mujhse khana nahin banega, hotel se le aao.

Chhathe Saal: Jab dekho khana khana aur khaana, abhi subah hi to khaya tha.

Shaadi ke baad Pati kaise badalte hain.. Zara gaur kijiye...

Pehle Saal: Jaanu, Sambhalkar... udhar gadda hai...

Dusre Saal: Arey yaar dekh ke, udhar Gadda hai...

Teesre Saal: Dikhta nahin udhar Gadda hai...

Chauthe Saal: Andhi hai kya, Gadda nahin dikhta??

Paanchve Saal: Arey udhar kidhar marne jaa rahi hai, Gadda to idhar hai...

Quotes

There is no remedy for love than to love more.

Trivia

Ketchup was sold in the 1830s as a medicine.

Graffiti

If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid.