• Santa Ke Latife

    Santa Pehli Baar Train Mein Safar Kar Raha Tha. Uski Nazar Ek Signboard Pe Padti Hai Jis Pe Warning Likhi Thi:
    Bina Ticket Safar Karne Wale Yaatri Hoshiyaar!!!!!!
    Santa: Waah ji Waah... Aur Humne Ticket Li Toh Hum Bewakoof???

    Santa: Insaan Ko Zindagi Mein Koi Bhi Problem Ho Toh Kiske Paas Jaana Chahiye?
    Banta: Kisaan Ke Paas!
    Santa: Kyun?
    Banta: Kyunki Uske Paas 'HAL' Hota Hai!

    Santa Aur Jeeto Ek Shadi Jaate Hain, Wahan DJ Par Gana Baj Raha Tha: Jisko Dance Nahin Karna Vo Jaa Ke Apni Bhains Charaye.
    Sanat Jeeto Se Kehta Hai: Oye Jeeto, Chal Yaar Khaana Khaate Hain.

    School Ke Peechey Ke Talaab Mein Headmaster Ji Doob Rahe The...
    Pappu Ne Vo Nazara Dekha Aur Bhagte Hue Chillane Laga: Kal Chhutti Hai... Kal Chhutti Hai...

    Santa went out to buy an Indian flag. The shop owner gave him the flag.
    Guess what did he ask next... Bhaisaab, Ismein Aur Colour Dikhaiye.
  • Microsoft vs Apple!

    Notice on entry gate of a Apple Store:
    Don't ever fart here;
    the smell will stay for ages.
    We don't have Windows.

    And a Tit for Tat from Microsoft in their premises.
    Anyone visiting us here can be free to use Windows in case you need to release stale gas from yesterday's half eaten apple.
    We have been providing open window system to the world since ages.
  • India-Pak Cricket Match

    Scene: Ajit is watching cricket match of India vs. Pakistan. Chetan is bowling and Javed is batting. Pakistan needs 24 runs in 4 balls.

    Ajit: Rabert, Jao Aur Chetan Se Kaho Ki Ek Khatarnak Bouncer Daal De Aur Javed Ko Out Kar De.

    Robert: Ok boss!

    Robert Jaata Hai Aur Ajit Ka message De Deta Hai. Chetan nods and bowls a bouncer but Javed hits it for a six!

    Ajit: Rabert, Ab Chetan Se Kehna Ek Tez Sa Yorker Daal De Aur Javed Kaa Kaam Tamam Kar De.

    Robert: Ok boss!!

    He goes again and Ajit Ka message Chetan Ko De Deta Hai. Chetan nods and bowls yorker but Javed hits it for a six again. Now there are two balls and 12 runs.

    Ajit: Rabert Ab Chetan Se Jaake Kehna Ek Khatarnak Out Swinger Daal De Aur Javed Ko Catch Out Karwa De.

    Robert: Ok boss!!!

    He goes to Chetan and tells him to bowl an Out Swinger. Chetan nods and bowls an out swinger but Javed again hits it for a six again. Now just one ball and six runs to win.

    Robert: Boss, Ab Chetan Ji Se Kya Kehna Hai?

    Ajit: Ab Chetan Se Kuch Mat Kehna. Is Baar Javed Ke Paas Jao Aur Kaho Ki Uski Maa Aur Beewi Hamare Kabje Mein Hai!
  • Indian TV Journalism

    Present day Indian TV Journalism Here's how the Indian TV news channels would report the 'Jack and Jill' nursery rhyme. All names (except those of Jack and Jill), are fictitious.

    Prashant - TV Anchor: Two persons have been injured in a freak climbing accident. Jack and his companion Jill had gone up a hill to fetch a pail of water when Jack fell down and broke his crown. Jill came tumbling after. Live from the hill, our reporter, Amrita Shah, takes up the story.

    Amrita Shah: Thank you Prashant. Well, as you say, two persons - Jack and Jill - had gone up a hill to fetch a pail of water. Suddenly, Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. Prashant.

    Prashant: Thank you Amrita. What do we know about the hill?

    Amrita: Not too much. Jack was going up the hill to fetch a pail of water when he fell down and broke his crown. Jill came tumbling after.

    [Headline appears at the foot of the TV screen: "Hill breaks crown of pail-boy Jack"]

    Prashant: What news of Jack and Jill?

    Amrita: Prashant, it seems that Jack had gone up the hill to fetch a pail of water. We know nothing about the pail, or how heavy it was but it seems that Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. I have here with me, an eyewitness to the accident, Mr Shahid Trivedi. Mr Shahid, tell us what you saw.

    Shahid Trivedi: Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after.

    [Headline appears at the foot of the TV screen: "Boy and girl tumble down hill. Water spilled"]

    Amrita: Jack and Jill. What do we know about them? Are they brother and sister? Are they married? Just what were they doing on the hill together?

    Shahid Trivedi: Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail a water.

    Amrita: And what happened next?

    Shahid Trivedi: Jack fell down and broke his crown.

    Amrita: Go on.

    Shahid Trivedi: And Jill came tumbling after.

    Amrita: Prashant, there you have it. Two people innocently going about their business to fetch a pail of water when one of them falls down, breaks his crown, and the other comes tumbling after. Back to you in the studio Prashant.

    [Headline appears at the foot of the TV screen: "Water errand ends in tragedy"]

    Prashant: I have with me in the studio now, Professor Chandrashekar Belagare from the Indian Institute of Applied Hill Sciences. Professor: a hill; Jack; Jill; a pail of water. A tragedy waiting to happen?

    Professor: Well that depends on the hill, the two persons, the object they were carrying and the conditions underfoot. Let us look at the evidence so far.

    Jack and Jill
    Went up the hill
    To fetch a pail of water.
    Jack fell down
    And broke his crown
    And Jill came tumbling after.

    Clearly, one would suspect that if Jack's fall was severe enough to break his crown then the surface of the hill must have been slippery or unstable. But I think we're overlooking something quite fundamental here. Who was carrying the pail? Jack fell down and broke his crown and - this is the key - Jill came tumbling after. If Jack and Jill had been carrying the pail together, would they not have fallen at the same time? The fact that Jill came tumbling after suggests that Jack lost his footing first and perhaps knocked Jill over as he slipped.

    Prashant: Professor thank you very much. So there we have it, two persons - Jack and Jill - went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. Later in the programme, Osama bin Laden captured in Afghanistan, President Bush says rent-boy menage-a-trois was "just a brief lapse of judgement", and Pakistan launches nuclear warheads against key Indian cities. But next up, join us after the break for a studio discussion about hills, boys and girls and whether water-fetching trips should be supervised.
    We'll be right back...
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