Bobby walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, one round for everyone, on me!"
The bartender says, "Well, seems you're in a really good mood tonight, hmm?"
Bobby says, "Oh, you can bet on it! I just got hired by the city to go around and remove all the money from parking meters. I start on Monday!"
The bartender congratulates him and proceeds to pour the round.
Monday evening arrives and Bobby comes back into the bar and says, "Bartender, TWO rounds for everyone, on me!"
The bartender says, "Well now! If you're so happy just over having this new job, I can just imagine how happy you'll be when you get your paycheck!"
Bobby looks at the bartender with a wondrous look on his face, pulls out a handful of quarters from his pocket, and says, "You mean they'll PAY me too?"
Ek baar ek ladka barsaat ki raat mein ek aunty ko, jo bus stop pe khadi thi, ghar chorne chala gaya.
Ghar pahunh kar aunty ne ladke ka shukriya kiya aur boli: Beta raat bohut ho gai hai, tum yahin BITTU ke kamre me so jao!
Ladka bola: Nahin aunty mein yahin SOFA par so jaunga.
Agle din Subah ek bohut hi sundar, hot ladki chai le kar aai.
Ladka: Aap kaun ho.......??
Ladki: Me BITTU hun. Aap kaun.....??
Ladka: Main saala ullu ka pattha....
Grandpa was always going on about the good old days, and the lower cost of living, in particular to his grandson.
"When I was a kid, my mom could send me to the store, and I'd get a salami, two pints of milk, 6 oranges, 2 loaves o' bread, a magazine, and some new blue jeans... all for a dollar!!"
Grandson, "You can't DO that anymore..... they got those darn video cameras everywhere you look."
Girfriend and boyfriend on phone:
Boy: Hi, kaisi ho jaan?
Girl Theek hun.
Boy: Aaj kya khaya dinner mein?
Girl: Tumhe bas yehi batein karni aati hain, kya khaya, kuan sa serial dekha, kaun sa song suna....
Boy: Oh!! Ok Ok, ye batao ki how shuld RBI fight these inflationary trends with minimum intervention in the money markets?
Girl: hmmmm.... daal chawal khaye hain, dahi aur salad bhi tha....
Little did she realise that the wire she was cutting was a wire that delivered internet to 90% of Armenia.
The population of 3.2 million people, including journalists at all major news stations, sat twiddling their thumbs as they were left without internet services for 5 hours!