• Santa Aur Pappu Humour

    Santa Ke Hip Pe Chot Lag Gayi. Vo Doctor Ke Paas Jaa Kar Check Karwaata Hai.
    Doctor Kehta Hai: Santa ji Taanke Lagaane Padenge.
    Santa: Ok, Laga Do.
    Doctor: Aapka Bill Hua Rs 5000.
    Santa: Kya??? 5000???? O Doctor Saab, Aapne Taanke Hi Lagaye Hain Ya Kashmiri Kadhaai Ki Hai???

    Pappu: Dada Ji Aap Kya Kar Rahe Ho..?
    Dada ji: Kitaab Padh Raha Hoon....
    Pappu: Kaun Si Kitaab...?
    Dada ji: History Ki Kitaab...
    Pappu: Zara Dehoon Toh, ............ Arey Yeh Toh Kamasutra Ki Kitaab Hai....
    Dada ji: Haanh Bacchey.... Ab Mere Liye Yeh Sab History Hi Hua Na.......

    Shaadi Ke 2 Saal Baad Jeeto Rote-Rote Apne Maayke Jaati AHi Aur Apni Maa Se Bolti Hai: Mein Ab Santa Ke Saath Nahin Rah Sakti, Woh Toh Daarubaaz Hai, Har Waqt Nashe Mein Rehta Hai!
    Maa Ne Hairaani Se Pucha: Yeh Baat Tu Mujhe Ab Bata Rahi Hai, Shaadi Ke 2 Saal Baad???
    Jeeto: Ab Tak Mujhe Bhi Kahaan Pata Tha!!! Vo Toh Kal Jab Wo Bina Piye Ghar Aa Gaya... Tab Pata Chala!!!
  • Crossed Cheque!

    There was a good looking woman who used to come to the bank.

    All the guys working in the bank were always amazed to see her.

    All instructed the cashier to shout "Cheque Aaya Re, Cheque Aaya Re..." as soon as she enters the bank.

    This happened a couple of times. At first, the woman felt a little weird but then guessed what was going on.

    One day when she came, as usual the cashier shouted "Cheque Aaya Re...."

    The woman calmly showed her 'Mangalsutra' and shouted: "Cheque Toh Aaya Re Koi Phayda Nahin... Kyunki Ye Crossed Cheque Hai!!!"
  • On The House!!!

    Ek Baar Santa Restaurant Mein Jaata Hai Aur Zor Se Bolta Hai: Mujhe Ek Bottle Champagne Chahiye Aur Baaki Sab Jo Yahan Baithe Hain Unko Bhi Champagne Do..... Kyunki Jab Mein Champagne Peeta Hun Toh Main Chahta Hun Ki Sab Champagne Hi Peeyein.

    Sab Bade Hairaan Hote Hain But Saath Mein Khush Bhi The Kynki Free Ki Champagne Jo Mil Rahi Thi.

    Drink Ke Baad Santa Phir Chaillaya: Mujhe Ek Tandoori Chicken Do Aur Baaki Sab Jo Yahan Baithe Hain Unko Bhi Tandoori Chicken Do..... Kyunki Main Chahta Hun Jo Main Kha Raha Hun Vo Sab Khaayein.

    Sab Phir Se Bahut Khush Hote Hai, Taaliyaan Bajate Hain Aur, Seetiyaan Maarte Hain... Chicken Jo Aane Waala Tha....

    Khaane Ke Baad Santa Phir Se Chaillaya: Mujhe Mera Bill Do Aur Yahan Baithe Baaki Logon Ko Bhi Unka Bill Do... Kyunki Mein Chahta Hun Jaise Main Apna Bill Pay Kar Raha Hun Vaise Hi Sab Apna Apna Bill Pay Karein...

    He is still recovering in the ICU!!!
  • Chocolate Chip Cookies

    An old man was lying on his deathbed.

    With only hours to live, he suddenly smelt chocolate chip cookies wafting up from the kitchen. Driven on by his favourite smell, he somehow managed to pull himself out of bed, across the floor to the stairs, and slowly down the stairs to the kitchen.

    There, the old man's wife was baking chocolate chip cookies. With his last bit of energy, mustering everything he had left, he reached for a cookie only to get his hand slapped.

    "No," the wife snapped, "these are for the funeral!"
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