Universal Jokes > Jokes
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A Dog's Life

An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of.

He calmly came over to me; I gave him a few pats on his head. He then followed me into my house, slowly walked down the hall, curled up in the corner and fell asleep. An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out.

The next day he was back, greeted me in my yard, walked inside and resumed his spot in the hall and again slept for about an hour.

This continued off and on for several weeks.

Curious I pinned a note to his collar:
I would like to find out who the owner of this wonderful sweet dog is and ask if you are aware that almost every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.

The next day he arrived for his nap, with a different note pinned to his collar:
'He lives in a home, with my non-stop chatting and nagging wife, he's trying to catch up on his sleep...... Can I come with him tomorrow? Thanks !

It's Empty !!!

Little Emily was complaining to her mother that her stomach hurt.

Her mother replied, "That's because it's empty. Maybe you should try putting something in it."

The next day, the pastor was over at Emily's family's house for lunch.

He mentioned having his head hurt, to which Emily immediately replied, "That's because it's empty. Maybe you should try putting something in it."

Four Aces!

It was during the World War II. The army transport was several days out of New York, and running without lights in the submarine zone.

Some of the fellows were having a little sociable game of poker. In the midst of some friendly kicking and re-kicking, there was a mighty impact against the boat.

All was quiet for a moment and then a voice rang out: "We Are Torpedoed!"

All the card players but one jumped to their feet.

"Hold on, fellows !" shouted the one who remained seated. "You cannot leave me now, I've got four Aces !!!"

Seedhe Shabdon Mein!

Aamir: Smiling...

Teacher: Aap muskura kyon rahe ho?

Aamir: Bahut dino se FB page ka admin banne ki ichcha thi aaj ban gaya hun, bahut maza aa raha hai.

Teacher: Jyada maze lene ki zarurat nahi hai. Ok tell me what is a post?

Aamir: Anything that is posted on facebook is a post sir.
Teacher: Can you please elaborate?

Aamir: Sir, jo bhi facebook pe log daalte hain wo post hai sir... ghumne gaye, uski photo daal diya!!! Post hai sir. Sir actually hum post se ghire hue hain!!! Katrina ki pic se Ronaldo ki kick tak!!! Sab post hai sir!!! Ek second mein comment, ek second mein like!!! Comment-Like, Comment-like....

Teacher: Shut up! ADMIN banke ye karoge??? Comment-like, comment-like. Chatur tum batao?

Chatur: Pictures, texts or Videos posted through Mobile or Tablet or laptop or desktop via different operating system using internet on facebook is called a post.

Teacher: Excellent!

Aamir: Per sir, maine bhi toh ye hi kaha lekin seedhe shabdon mein.

Teacher: Seedhe shabdon me karna hai toh kisi aur page ke admin bano.

Aamir: Par sir dusre admin bhi toh...

Teacher: Get out!

Aamir: Kya Sir ?

Teacher: Seedhe shabdon mein kahun toh bahar jayiye.

Aamir goes out and comes back.

Teacher: Kya hua?

Aamir: Kuch bhool gaya tha sir.

Teacher: Kya?

Aamir: An utility button given to us to protect our private data i.e. pictures, messages or personal information for being stolen or used for bad purpose by hackers or anyone else.

Teacher: Kehna kya chahte ho???

Aamir: Logout sir!!! Logout karna bhool gaya tha.

Teacher: Seedha seedha nahi bol sakte the?

Aamir: Sir, thodi der pehle try kiya tha but aapko pasand nahi aaya !!!


A kiss is the shortest distance between two souls.


When the moon is directly overhead, we weigh slightly less.


If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid.