|A Marine General, an Army General and a Navy Admiral were discussing who had the toughest men.|
The Army General says, "Alright, I'll prove the army has the toughest men in the country. Private, get over here!"
The private reports as ordered, "Yes sir?"
The General says, "See that man over there? Kill him!"
Without hesitating, the private kills the man.
The General says, "See? That man has balls!"
The Marine General says, "That's nothing. Private, get over here!"
The Marine Private reports, "Yes, sir?"
The Marine General says, "See that man over there? Kill him and then kill yourself."
Without blinking, the marine private pulls out his M-16 and blows away the guy, then turns the rifle on himself and unloads several rounds.
The Marine General says, "See? Now that man has balls!"
The Admiral says, "That's nothing."
He calls to a seaman high up on a tower, "Hey, seaman, jump off that tower!" The seaman answers, "Excuse me, sir?"
The Admiral repeats, "JUMP OFF THAT TOWER!"
The seaman replies, "Fuck you, sir!" The Admiral says, "See? That man has balls and he's got brains too!"
|Pappu Ki Harkaton Se Tang Aa Kar Santa Ne Usko Hostel Mein Dal Diya.|
Ek Din Hostel Ke Room Mein Baith Ke Vo Jor Jor Se Ro Raha Tha.
Uske Friend Bunty Ne Us Se Pucha: Kya Hua Yaar, Ro Kyu Raha Hai?
Pappu: Yaar Mere Saath Bahut Bada Dhokha Hua Hai, Aur Vo Bhi Daddy Ne Kiya.
Bunty: Kyun? Kya Kiya Unhone?
Pappu: Yaar Paison Ki Jarurat Thi, So Unko Bola Ki Books Ke Liye Paise Bhej Do.
Pappu: Toh Kya, Unhone Books Hi Bhej Di...
|Bill had always been a prankster. As each of his friends were married, Bill made sure some type of practical joke was played upon them. Now ready to be married himself, he was dreading the payback he knew was coming.|
Surprisingly, the ceremony went off without a hitch. No one stood up during the pause to offer a reason 'why this couple should not be married'. His reception wasn't disrupted by streakers or smoke-bombs, and the car the couple was to take on their honeymoon was in perfect working order.
When the couple arrived at their hotel and entered the room, Bill even checked for cornflakes in the bed (a gag he had always loved). Nothing, it seemed, was amiss. Satisfied that he had come away unscathed, the couple fell into bed.
Upon waking, the couple was ravenous so Bill called down to room service and asked, "I'd like to order breakfast for two."
At that moment, a soft voice from under the bed said, "Make that five."
|Bahut Jyada Shaitaniyo Aur Faltu Ki Bakwas Karne Ki Vajah Se Pappu Ek Bar Fail Ho Gaya.|
Teacher Ne Santa Ko Class Mein Bulaya Aur Boli.
Teacher: Tumhara Ladka Bada Hi Nalayak Ho Gaya, Jitna Faltu Ki Baton Mein Dimaag Lagata Hai Utna Study Pe Lagana Chahiye.
Santa: Madam Ji, Kya Ho Gaya Kyu Itna Gussa Kar Rahe Ho?
Teacher: Ye Dekho Vo Fail Hai. English Mein 14, Math Mein 17, Science Mein 18, SST Mein 11, Total 60.
Santa Ne Ye Suna Aur Kuch Pal Sochne Ke Bad Bola.
Santa: Wah Madam, Total Mein Toh Chha Gaya Apna Puttar..., Aur Kamaal Ki Baat Yeh Hai Ki Is Subject Ki Toh Tution Bhi Nahi Rakhi Thi.