|A man takes his seat at IND vs PAK match.|
He looks to his left & notices that there is a spare seat between him & the guy next.
MAN: Who would ever miss IND vs PAK match ?
GUY: That seat was for my wife. We have been to all INDvsPAK matches together, but sadly she passed away.
MAN: Oh that's terrible! Sweet of you to have her here symbolically by keeping the vacant seat. But these are expensive tickets. you should have brought another family member or a friend with you?
GUY: I tried, but they are all at her funeral!
Men will be men
|Two businessmen in New York were standing around and taking a break in their soon-to-be new store. As yet, the store wasn't ready, and didn't even have the shelves set up.|
One commented to the other, "I bet any minute now some Jewish guy is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling."
No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious old Jewish man walked to the window, had a peek, and in a soft voice asked, "Vat ya sellin' here?"
One of the men replied sarcastically, "We're selling assholes."
Without skipping a beat, the old Jewish man answered, "Must be doing well, only two left."
|Mr Jones drove his secretary home after she had had a little too much to drink at their new year's office party. She was sooooo drunk.|
Although nothing happened, he decided not to mention it to his wife who was an insanely jealous and suspicious woman.
Later that night, Mr. jones and his wife were in the car when he spotted a high-heeled shoe under the passenger seat....
While his wife wasn't looking, he picked up the shoe and tossed it out of his window...
Later, as they got out of the car, his wife asked, "Honey, have you seen my other shoe?" Life of a husband is so difficult....
|An American girl was visiting England and was invited to a party. While dancing with a stuffy monocled Englishman, her necklace became unfastened and slipped down the back of her dress.|
She asked the Englishman to retrieve the jewelry piece for her.
He was very embarrassed but wishing to comply with her request he reached cautiously down the back of her gown.
"I'm terribly sorry," he said, "but I can't seem to reach it."
Try further down," she said.
At this point he noticed that he was being watched by everyone in the room which made him feel most uncomfortable and he whispered to the girl, "I feel such a perfect ass."
"Never mind that!" she cried. "Just get the damn necklace."