• When You are Drunk

    Things that are difficult to say when drunk:
    1. Innovative
    2. Preliminary
    3. Proliferation
    4. Cinnamon

    Things that are very difficult to say when drunk:
    1. Specificity
    2. Anti-constitutionalistically
    3. Passive-aggressive disorder
    4. Transubstantiate

    Things that are downright impossible to say when drunk:
    1. No thanks, I'm married.
    2. Nope, no more booze for me!
    3. Sorry, but you 're not really my type.
    4. Taco Bell? No thanks, I'm not hungry.
    5. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
    6. Oh, I couldn't! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.
    7. I'm not interested in fighting you.
    8. Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I'd hate to look like a fool!
    9. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to pee in this parking lot or on the side of the road.
    10. I must be going home now , as I have to work in the morning.
  • Green Leaf Salad!

    I called my Arab friend home for a traditional 'Onam Sadya' (traditional lunch).

    The Arab friend asked me: Is the Onam lunch Veg or Non veg?

    I told him: It's Vegetarian, are you coming?

    He said he would come. And he came and sat for the 'Sadya' (lunch).

    I placed the traditional big banana leaf and a glass of water in front of him to serve the Onam lunch, and went inside to bring the Onam meal.

    When I came back, my Arab friend ate the big banana leaf and drank the water, and said: Masha Alla... Thamam... This is the first time I have ever eaten such a big leaf as 'Salad'...

  • Being Husband!

    When I reached office, I got a call from my wife.

    "What is the date today?" She said.

    I was wondering... then told her 14th September... call disconnected.
    I was wondering... her birthday? No...
    Mine?? No...
    Anniversary?? No...
    Son's birthday!!! No...
    In-laws Birthday... Anniversary? No...
    Gas booking... done...
    Utility payments... done...
    Her uncle who arrives when we want to go out, sqat and kill us and our time... his birthday... No...
    Then?!? Why date???
    Lunch and evening tea went with spinning questions... reached home...

    Junior was playing in car park... I Asked him, "How is the weather in kitchen? Tornado... Tsunami???

    Boy said, "All normal. Why?"

    "Your mom asked me... what is the date today in the morning?"

    Boy smiled and told, "I tore some sheets from calendar in morning... so she was confused..."

    Being husband is a tough job....
  • Management Training

    An Indian warrior walks into Starbucks with a shotgun in one hand pulling a male buffalo with the other.

    He says to the waiter, "Me want coffee."

    The waiter says, "Sure chief coming right up."

    He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee. The Indian drinks the coffee down in one gulp, turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun, causing parts of the animal to splatter everywhere, then just walks out.

    The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand pulling another male buffalo with the other. He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter, "Me want coffee."

    The waiter says, "Whoa, Tonto! We're still cleaning up your mess from yesterday. What was all that about, anyway?"

    The Indian smiles and proudly says, "Me training for upper management position: Come in, drink coffee, shoot the bull, leave mess for others to clean up, disappear for rest of day.