|Ek Ladka Aur Ladki Shaadi Karna Chahte The, Par Unhe Darr Tha Ke Ladki Ke Maa Baap Love Marriage Ke Liye Nahi Maanenge.|
Ladki Ne Iss Mamle Me Apne Gharwalo Se Baat Kari, Lekin Vo Toh Ek Hi Baar Me Maan Gaye.
Ladka Ye Sunkar Hairan Ho gaya. Usne Ladki Se Pucha: Darling Tumharee Ghar Mein Sab Kaise Maan Gaye Hamari Shadi K Liye.
Ladki Ne Muskurate Hue Jawab Diya: Kuch Nahi, Ek Question Ka Answer Diya Or Sab Ne Phatafat Haan Kar Di.
Ladka: Aisa Kya Pucha Unhone?
Ladki: Unhone Pucha Ladka Kya Kar Raha Hai?
Ladka: Toh Tumne Kya Kaha?
Ladki: Maine Kaha Ki Pet Ke Andar Laat Maar Raha Hai.
Parents Shocked. Ladki Rocked.
|A guy meets a childhood pal. "What are you doing for yourself these days?"|
"I'm a fireman," his old friend replies.
"Yeah? My 15-year-old kid wants to be a fireman," says the guy.
"Well," says his friend, "if you want some good advice, you've got to install a pole in your house that will go to the basement so your kid can practice, because the hardest thing for a fireman is to jump off into space and catch that pole in the middle of the night."
Ten years later, the two guys happen to meet again.
"Well, did your son become a fireman?"
"No," moans the guy, "but my daughter is a stripper."
|The CEO of a large multinational company fell ill on a day when he had tickets to see a grand concert.|
As a gesture of kindness, he gave the tickets to the company's Efficiency Expert to enjoy the concert with his wife.
Next morning, the CEO was surprised to find a report on his table, written by their Efficiency Expert and this is what it said:
Thank you for sending me to the concert last evening with my wife. My observations are as follows:
The highlight of the evening was Schubert's unfinished symphony. Although personally I think unfinished works should be disqualified, I did watch the performance and here are some, but not all, of the malfunctions I found:
1. The most obvious problem was that they had 22 violinists playing the exact same tune. Such reckless waste! I believe that at least 21 of them should be fired.
2. The drummer was doing nothing for long stretches of time. I would suggest he be put on a different clock, so we can keep an eye on him and only pay him when he actually does any work.
3. Many of the musical segments kept repeating themselves, and I fail to understand the point of having the flutes play the same segment as the oboes. If we can cut down on these repetitions, we can finish the symphony in 20 minutes instead of 2 hours.
4. Regarding the equipment: I noticed a horrible lack of standardization when it comes to musical instruments, and especially when it comes to string instruments. I've seen small ones, big ones, one you hold under your chin and some you hold between your legs. I think that one size for all these instruments will save time, money and confusion, as well as make maintenance easier.
5. The conductor, the most senior employee, did not play as much as a single tune the entire concert, and showed a complete lack of respect to the customers, while standing with his back (his back!) to the audience. There were even a few times he was threatening his staff with a stick, which should never be allowed. I would suspend him with no pay until we can get to the bottom of this. Psychological counselling may be advised.
To summarize: I am quite sure that if Mr. Schubert had avoided these issues, he would have managed to finish his work, instead of leaving us with an unfinished symphony!
Corporate Efficiency Enhance Expert
|Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Her parents divorced, but that never stopped her from wanting to get married. Her mother had found the perfect dress to wear. A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's new young wife had bought the exact same dress as her mother. Jennifer asked her stepmother to exchange it, but she refused.|
"Absolutely not. I look like a million bucks in this dress and I'm wearing it," she replied.
Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, "Never mind sweetheart. I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day."
A few days later, they went shopping and did find another gorgeous dress. When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, "Aren't you going to return the other dress? You really don't have another occasion where you could wear it."
Her mother just smiled and replied, "Of course I do, dear. I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner, the night before the wedding."