• The Innocent Wife !

    Wife calls her scientist husband... "Honey... It's Friday... you're late..."

    "I'm busy with my team in an experiment."

    "Whats that?"

    "We've just added a derivative of C2H5OH with ambient temperature H2O and aqueous CO2. To cool this mixture added some super low temperature, solidified H2O, now while waiting for some protein, we are fumigating the lab with vapours of nicotine...
    It's 4 or 5 round experiment... So I will be late."

    "Oh dear... I won't disturb you... please take your time..."

    C2H5OH (Whiskey)
    H2O (Water)
    Aqueous CO2 (Soda)
    Protein (Chicken)
    Vapours of Nicotine (Smoking)
  • Can't Find It...

    A little boy was excited about his first day at school. So excited in fact, that only a few minutes after class started, he realized that he desperately needed to go to the bathroom. So he raised his hand politely to ask if he could be excused. Of course the teacher said yes, but asked him to be quick.

    Five minutes later he returned, looking more desperate and embarrassed.

    "I can't find it," he admitted.

    The teacher sat him down and drew him a little diagram to where he should go and asked him if he will be able to find it now.

    The boy looked at the diagram, said "yes" and goes on his way.

    Five minutes later he returned to the class room and says to the teacher, "I can't find it."

    Frustrated, the teacher asked Jon, a boy who has been at the school for awhile, to help him find the bathroom. So two fellas go together and five minutes later they both return and sit down at their seats.

    The teacher asks Jon, "Well, did you find it?"

    Jon is quick with his reply, "Oh sure, he just had his boxer shorts on backwards."
  • Extremely Drunk

    It seems a gentleman had too much alcohol at a party, was heading home, and was pulled over by a state trooper.

    Upon being tested, the fellow couldn't walk a straight line any more than he could drive one, so the trooper wrote out a ticket and had just given it to the driver before an accident in the opposite lane took his attention to more important matters.

    The inebriated driver, figuring that the trooper wasn't coming back to him, drove home and went to bed. He was awakened in the morning by a knock at the door, created by two more state troopers.

    "Are you Mr. Johnson?" the asked?

    He admitted that he was.

    "Were you pulled over at Main Street last night for driving under the influence?"

    Again, the man admitted that was he.

    "And what did you do then," the troopers asked."

    The man replied that he drove his car home and went to bed.

    "Where is your car now?" the troopers enquired.

    The man answered that it was in the garage.

    "May we see the car?" asked the troopers.

    The man answered, "Sure," and opened the garage.

    Inside the garage was the state troopers car.
  • Equal Privileges

    A country club didn't allow women on the golf course. Eventually, there was enough pressure that they decided to allow women on the course during the week. The ladies were satisfied with this arrangement, formed a women's club and became very active.

    After about 6 months, the club board received a letter from the women's club complaining about the men, urinating on the golf course. Naturally, they just ignored the matter.

    After another 6 months, they received another letter reminding them of the previous letter and demanding action.

    After due deliberation they sent the women a letter advising them that they had been granted equal privileges.